“Well salutations and good afternoon to you, Mister Bruce! I'm Magnolia May. Enchanted and delighted to make your acquaintance!"
"Mister Bruce." Here Magnolia fluttered her impressive eyelashes. "If I may be frank? I find you to be quite the handsome, rugged fellow. Has anypony ever told you you have the prettiest gosh darned baby blue eyes I ever did see?”
Bruce pawed the ground, suddenly made nervous by this tiny, bold mare. "T-thank you-"
“It’s such a shame they’re offset by those...unfortunate eyebrows."
"Oh, sugarcube, it's alright. I'm sure you're a fairly on the go stallion, you simply don't have time to practice proper grooming! I empathize and sympathize, Mister Bruce." Magnolia patted a comforting hoof on Bruce's shoulder. Bruce's jaw worked, trying to make sense of what was happening.
"Fear not, darlin'. I am trained makeover warrior! Just skedaddle with me over to my salon, and you and I can whip those horrid overgrown dogbrows into shape! And maybe even do somethin' about your mane and coat! Wouldn't that be lovely?”
“Ah, I like your spirit!" Magnolia looped her arm through Bruce's, and tugged him forward with surprising strength, for a unicorn. "Come with me, Darling Bruce, and I’ll take you on a journey from drab to fab!" She leaned on his shoulder, and looked up at him with eyes that shone with determination. "You will be my magnum opus.”
and that's the story of how Magnolia and Bruce became besties (that is, she randomly propositioned his scruffy behind in the street one day for a free makeover)
the makeover was long and arduous but after hours of labor she managed to make Bruce look so pretty
Bruce fucking hated it
but found himself inexplicably charmed by her eccentric ways
together, they became a friend duo with combined levels of sass and snark that could destroy a city
i'm a sucker for odd pairs of friends, and platonic male/female friendships, so these two jerks together hit all the right notes for me
Also, deviation looks quite nice !
I'd love to see them verbally demolishing someone who tries to make fun of them or their friends.
It would be so amazingly, gloriously brutal.
like someone trying to bash Rosie and Stormy for being hippies. Then Magnolia and bruce roasting the ever livivng crap
out of them.
(Mad Max video game reference)
Bruce: Uh wai-
Magnolia: TOO LATE *drags him to the salon*