Looking for Constructive Feedback on Lit

I apologize ahead of time, but this is me asking for feedback and giving nothing back. I'm a very busy person and I just don't have the time to read everyone's stories.

Here's the fanfic novella Chapter 1 (It's not bad, I swear):




So for most of the comments I've gotten are Jeff the killer, Jeff, bullying, Jeff, Levine's feelings, Jeff, Jeff, Ticci Toby, cool, cool, and comma mistakes. I kinda wanted someone to leave something more constructive than that because fanfics are either a hit or miss. I want to know if it's a hit~