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I Want to Feel Purple
I feel so Blue
Blue as Cinderella's ball gown
Blue as the clothes I'm wearing
Blue as my desktop background
Blue as my ipod's casing
Blue as facebook's theme colour
Blue as the tiles in my bathroom
Blue as my evanescence CD cover
Blue as a smurf cartoon
Blue as the Israeli flag
Blue as the color of Squidward's blood
Blue as an avatar dressed in a rag
Blue as the town that drowned in a flood
Blue as the sleepy twitter whale
Blue as the villain in 'Big Fat Liar'
Blue as the scrubs that doctors wear
Blue as the hottest flame of fire
I feel so Blue
What should I do?
I think I'll mix a little red
So I can feel purple instead!
:icona-w0man:A-w0man 1,700 375
50 Ways To Annoy Sabaku No Gaara
1. Get a bucket full of water and throw the water at him. When he gets mad and asks you why you did that, just say you wanted to find out if he wore eyeliner or not.
2. Write "LeeGaa 4ever!!!" all over his gourd. With a permanent marker.
3. Take a sticky note that says "YOUTH!" and stick it on to his back (if he doesn't wear a gourd, of course. If he does, stick it on to his gourd).
4. Buy a sandcest doujinshi, and lay it on his desk. Make sure his siblings find it.
5. Take his Kazekage hat and throw it out the window (make sure it's a blowy day).
6. Fill his gourd with water.
7. Ask him if he used to hump his teddybear.
8. Grab his arm, and tell him he's the cutest uke ever.
9. Similiar to previous #8. Grab his arm, and tell him he's the sexiest seme ever.
10. Ask him why the rings around his eyes hadn't disappeared though he can sleep now.
11. Constantly remind him why he has the kanji on his forehead.
12. Ask him what he actually meant by "I only love myself." *ba-du-bum-pssh*
13. T
:iconaminellelia:Aminellelia 308 168
No Name
I once knew a man named No Name
Who wanted to change it to rename
When he went to court
He was but to short
And he forgot to fill in his name
:icongridtakno:gridtakno 220 33
By Fifty,
I'll publish or perish;
  find someone to cherish;
     move someplace phenomenal;
        display an abdominal
           physique to inspire,
              which I shall acquire!
. . . Or perhaps, just retire.
:iconhavetales-willtell:HaveTales-WillTell 259 144
Der Herr der Ringe (leicht verkuerzte Version)
Abends spät, da klopft es leise,
Gandalf war’s, der Graue Weise.
„Frodo, Lust auf einen kurzen Flug,
Auf Adlers Schwinge, schnell genug?“
„Warum soll ich heut Nacht denn fliegen,
Wo auch im Bett ich könnte liegen?“
„Um Saurons Ring schnell zu vernichten,
So spar’n wir uns gar viel Geschichten.“
So flogen sie zum Schicksalsberg,
Sahen weder Ork noch Zwerg,
Ließen dann den Ring reinplumpsen
Hörten laut des Berges Rumsen,
Danach, sie flogen wieder heim,
Welt retten kann so einfach sein.
:icontutziputz:Tutziputz 60 141
Ten Little Deviants
Ten Little Deviants
Ten little deviants, all online,
One went invisible, and then there were nine.
Nine little deviants, staying up very late,
One missed a deadline, and then there were eight.
Eight little deviants, cosplaying as Britain,
One found a new fandom, and then there were seven.
Seven little deviants, writing about the River Styx,
One got published, and then there were six.
Six little deviants, having trouble with their hard-drive,
One crashed, and then there were five.
Five little deviants, looking for more,
One got himself banned, and then there were four.
Four little deviants, asking for points you see,
One got a Premium Membership, and then there were three.
Three little deviants, all in a chatroom,
One found a new RP, and then there were two.
Two little deviants, went outside to see the sun,
One got bored, and then there was one.
One little deviant, staring at his screen alone,
Closed their laptop, and then there were none.
:iconusagi-hikari9:usagi-hikari9 598 393
Version Audio Ici !
Le bal où balbutie un blême baladin
Mène la maure mare en amère manière
Tel Thanatos tapi, tentant de sa tanière
Parsemer le parfum d'un pâle paladin.
Passant la palissade en puissant palatin
On nie la lie limpide où l'âne sans lanière
Banni, va balader bonne et blonde bannière
Dans l'opalin palais latin du palatin.
Vérace, on scie la vis vorace au vert vaisseau
Fou, le sceau de la fesse a faussé le faisceau
Et la crise se frise, emprise qui se brise…
Les brigades en bris, brebis brament briguant
La grise friandise où s'irise la brise…
-La brune bruine brûle et brandit le brigand !
Frantz, 25/05/2000.
:iconexnihilo-nihil:Exnihilo-nihil 18 69
Bedroom Promise
Mosquito, you have played your final game
If it was you, directly in my ear
an hour before the midnight bell, for shame
I'll have you know, if you should reappear:
for you I'll find my doll-house guillotine
A mini-vampire hunter track you down
to stick your dripping noggin, most obscene
upon the palisade of doll-house town
There's no rest for the wicked, sucker, see
my bloodhound-dogged zeal is no pretence
No Venus flytrap that one needs to be?
Or at your earliest convenience
go find a fire to die in, flying louse
(preferably outside the house)
:iconbattlefairies:BATTLEFAIRIES 141 96
Late Night Cereal
She texted me to ask for milk,
A query so surreal,
For she was of the hungry ilk
Who craved for cereal.
Alas, I had no milk but soy,
Which she was wary to deploy
Within her bowl,
Within her bowl,
Her face showed she did not taste joy.
Oh Special K! 'Twas not the day
She meant for you to swim
With Mister Two-Percent, and play
Your tasty games with him.
The box was done, your final breath
Could only end in runny death.
No creaminess,
No creaminess,
A soggy grave was all she left.
All times, both good and bad, must end
In peacefulness or pain.
One moment, by your side a friend,
The next, gone and estranged.
While we still live, let's take control,
Together, let's live to the full
Like milk and flakes,
Like milk and flakes,
Creamy, crunchy in the bowl.
:iconparsat:Parsat 130 40
Mona Mouse.
Little Miss Mona Mouse,
just loved to strike a pose
and showing off the things she wore
when she´d model all her clothes.
With her bag and stole
and her best dress on,
she´d float along the cat-walk.
She would turn with style,
on her face a smile,
and make a good impression!
Wanting to be a model
of the latest fashion,
twas her biggest dream
and her one and only passion.
New York, London, Paris, Rome,
she'd never made it very far
but she could bring the house down,
at her local church Bazaar.
poetry by Suzanne karbach
15th January 2016
:iconsupach:Supach 18 29
A Red vs. Blue Christmas
‘Twas a cold, winter’s night, and down at blue base,
Life slowly went by at a monotonous pace;
Artillery was left without guard, and who cared?
Attack the blue base? Red Team wouldn’t dare!
Down in the bunker Caboose and Church sat,
Wishing for something that they could shoot at.
While Tex in her grey and Sis in her yellow.
Hoped command would send out a more ‘interesting’ fellow.
Then, to their surprise who should come running in?
‘Twas Tucker with an unhelpful look of chagrin.
“They’re just over the hill!” He yelled in great haste.
“To your posts!” shouted Church, “They will not take our base!”
From the roof they could see the Reds getting quite close,
In their beat up Warthog and a couple of Ghosts.
From below, in the garage came an engine-like sound,
As Sheila drove out, and her gun swung around.
“So, now what?” said Caboose “all these buttons are swell.”
“Oops, wrong one.” And he cringed
:iconedenvale:Edenvale 217 68
My Great-Aunt, Ms. Tara Dactyl
A Poem by Tennysonosaurus Rex
She barrels through clouds after coffee,
Triceratops shudder beneath an
Ear-rending squawk; the day's paper
(Jurassic Tribune) sits, forgotten.
It's time to be up, up and at 'em—
Which trust me she is—hit the skyway,
(Archaeopteryx officers:  stay calm)
"Ma'am, easy. Don’t scream Bloody Mary..."
"But young'uns, I’m late for my dinner!"
Then dinner appears just a wingbeat
Away, "Pardon me, catch you later!"
"This vole has exceptional merit."
I suppose that it does; I couldn’t tell you
As I go in for larger game myself
But Aunt's mind is sharp as an arrow
God bless her, and her Latin bookshelf.
Not to mention the mat in the doorway:
Pterodactylus Anciens, Salve!
:iconwinterofthesoul:WinteroftheSoul 40 12
Tommy 1337
Dahl, your death was a tragedy,
But I'm almost glad you didn't see
The rising of the new way to
Make your kids' minds melt into goo.
I talk, of course, lest we forget
Of the abhorrent INTERNET.
None of us could contain our joy
When this delightful little toy
Made little Tommy shut his trap
(Much quicker than a lunchtime nap)
And seemed, at first, to educate
Rather than brain-assimilate.
But years rolled on and our new friend
Became the source of ghastly trends
And Tommy, now at age thirteen,
Became rather absurdly keen
On women – half cat, with huge breasts,
And arguments on which was best:
The Potter books or sparkly guys
(Those weird gay vampires in disguise).
The vulgar porn and RP games
All make TV look rather tame.
Over 9,000 pedo-cocks,
And fan girls milling 'round in flocks,
Dramatica and DeviantArt
Will slowly blacken any heart
And dull your eyes, and dull your brain
Until you'll never speak again
Save in a strained and beastly growl
As we eliminate the vowel.
So parents,
:iconfrancine1991:Francine1991 215 124
No-one forgets a good teacher
"Listen to me or I'll break your legs"
                                               - Steve Thompson
Dear Sir. Not sir. It's automatic.
Sorry Steve. Dear Steve. I'm fed
On seven years of autocratic
Tiffinisms: "genuflect
to teachers." Seven years' emphatic
Faire-sans-dire still in my head.
Dear Steve. Your style was more dramatic
you taught life and art instead:
Stoppard, condoms, mathematics,
goatee beards and Berthold Brecht
and Bigmouth Strikes Again, such is
what you gave us, plus the threat
of a half a term on crutches
for ignoring you. Dear Steve - respect.
:iconlazylinepainterjohn:LazyLinePainterJohn 143 76
Jakby, wyznanie
„Litwo!  Ojczyzno moja! Ty jesteś jak zdrowie!” –
Krzyczał wzniośle Polska. Litwa śmiał się w rowie
Poniżej pagórka, na łączce zielonej,
Zewsząd malowniczym lasem polskim otoczonej.
Tegoż dnia pięknego, po rannym bigosie,
Spojrzał Feliks na Torisa, lecz ten był nie w sosie.
Spokojny, zamyślony, w obrus się wpatrywał.
Siedział tak i milczał. Nic nie okazywał.
Ściągnął brwi nasz Polska. „To już raz kolejny,
Gdy tak Liciek siedzi, milcząc jak najęty” –
Podsumował Feliks, poirytowany.
A przecież się starał i chciał dobrze. Rany!
Mógłby się załamać, lecz tu nagle pomysł
Mu zaświtał. „Tak? No to zobaczysz, Toris…”
Uśmiechnął się w rękaw. Teraz się wykaże.
„Chodź – rzekł do Litwy.
:iconfallenann:FallenAnn 44 87
If Shakespeare Had a Facebook Page
If Shakespeare had a Facebook page
Would he “Like for Jesus” or “Ignore for Hell”?
How many likes would his sonnets catch,
And would “Macbeth” be received well?
Would the rose smell just as sweet
if no one read it in a tweet?
And would he come up with the truth after a year,
that “Hell is empty and the devils are here”?
Would he whore for likes and friend requests?
Share his results for every personality test?
And post a “Teen Quote” for every day?
Would he be caught up with his anime?
Do you think he'd enjoy RoosterTeeth's channel,
Post selfies in snapbacks and Nike’s and flanel?
Would his pants sag and his status read:
“#Yolo420, Legalize Weed?”
Maybe he'd dye his hair green and spike up the ends
Maybe him and Mark Twain would be #Bestfriends.
Would this 90's kids generation steal the show,
Or would he be the same Bill we used to know?
:iconemerald-alexandria:Emerald-Alexandria 63 38
Washing the Tyger
Tyger Tyger, turning white,
In the laundry load tonight;
What has happened to thy dye,
Did not add bleach - or did I?
Was it from those greasy fries,
Leaving stains so near thine eyes?
Should I place thee in the dryer?
Would thy fabric cause a fire?
And when thy form comes apart,
Could I stitch it, call it art?
And would thy fabric, in the heat,
wrinkle thy hands, shrink thy feet?
Should I use Tide? maybe Gain,
Why is washing such a pain?
What was that dirt? then I gasp,
A clean toy I long to grasp!
When the washer slows its gears
and water marks thy face like tears:
Couldst thou ever forgive me?
Didst thou need those stripes, truly?
Tyger Tyger, turning white,
In the laundry load tonight;
What has happened to thy dye,
Did not add bleach - or did I?
:iconinkedacrylic:inkedacrylic 27 22
Before I tell this anecdote,
There are some things that you should note-
How tales are spun, and lies are told
As soon as fairy tales get old.
If you were to ask any kid
About what Rumpelstiltskin did,
They'll say, "He tried to trick the Queen!
There's no one in this world so mean."
The nasty, lying Brothers Grimm,
Positively hated him.
Rumpy was an immigrant
Whose life was largely innocent,
(Although he did, I must report,
Enter on a fake passport).
He was a simple country dweller,
Trapped inside the royal cellar-
He couldn't read the exit sign
So got drunk on the king's best wine.
Please realise that life's not  kind
To people with a large behind,
Not only that but on his head,
His thinning hair was coloured red;
I hope you do appreciate
That being ginger's not that great.
Let's hear his true, unhappy  tale
(The Brother's Grimm should be in jail).
Whilst on his way to Palace Hall
The Miller started a pub crawl.
He liked his gin, but just one drink
:iconrolex:ROLEX 14 8
Science Jam
Scientists can have bad days
Franklin's lost his spark
Fleming's caught a nasty cold
And Curie glows in the dark
Nobel caused an explosion
So Galileo's seeing stars
Pillinger's lost his beagle
Somewhere out near Mars
Now Darwin held a party
To put everyone at ease
Einstein brought a relative
Mendel just brought peas
Tesla's built a death ray
And hidden it at Brunel's station
Newton's totally failed to see
The gravity of the situation
Heisenberg was uncertain
If Schrödinger's cat's alive or dead
So he used Occam's razor
To shave its fur instead
Faraday wanted to show his friends
How to make electricity for a dime
Bell's not answering his calls
And Hawking can't make time
:iconbogbrush:Bogbrush 60 121
The Artist Syndrome
This work is simply brilliant!
Says the artist in me.

I'll have it framed twice!

So precious it be...

Says the artist in me,

But what if people hate it?

So precious it be!
I cannot let them take it!
And what if people hate it,

And what if they hate me?

I cannot let them take it
I'll lock it away you see!
And what if they hate me?
A simple lock will not suffice!
I'll lock it away you see.

In a land of frozen ice...

"And that, my dear Mrs. Sutherland, is why I shipped my art homework to Antarctica!"
:iconwordofchen:WordOfChen 552 137
Incompetence: A Half-Baked Tale
She disappears in a puff of smoke and leaves me standing there
In a dress of the palest gossamer, with fancy curling hair.
I take a step—my slippers pinch—“Oh dear, they’re slightly small―”
But the coachman interrupts me: “Come! We cannot miss the ball!”
He grins at me with buck teeth as he stands by the carriage door;
I climb inside; my slippers sink in the spongy, slippery floor.
The seat is slightly sticky, leaving pumpkin on my palms,
But the coachman cries, “Hooray! We’re off!” and waves excited arms.
The carriage starts with a painful lurch and soon we’re rolling fast;
I close my eyes and pray it holds together to the last.
My hair is shaken loose; I bump my head, my hand, my knee,
And I wonder if that fairy passed her Magic Arts degree.
Along we jump and jerk and jolt; I’m flung from side to side;
The carriage comes to a screeching halt to end our breakneck ride.
:iconriorlyne:Riorlyne 32 47
'Twas the Night Before Freddy
‘Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through the pizzeria,
Not a robot was stirring,
Not even Old Chica,
The Puppet was nestled all snug in his box,
And Jeremy heard a carol sung by a certain, drunk fox…
On Christmas gifts, Jeremy spent his last cent,
He had to work overtime to pay off the rent,
So instead of sugar-plums dancing in his head,
The night guard was filled with horrible dread,
For though it was Christmas Eve, as we have said,
By morning, he’d probably still wind up dead,
When out in the hall arose such a clatter,
He sprang from his chair to see what was the matter,
Grabbing his mask, he moved in a flash,
And in anything attacked, for the door he would dash,
(Now, as narrator, I hate to sound shrewd,
But in terms of survival he was royally screwed,)
But every terrified thought
:iconsilyabeeodess:SilyaBeeodess 52 42