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Literature
40 Ways To Annoy Link
1. Run around Link like an idiot and repeat: "Hey! Hey! Watch! Look! Listen!"
2. Remind him over and over that his name isn't mentioned in the game title.
3. Wake him up in the middle of the night. Yell: "You have to SAAAAVE the world!" Then force him to walk to the ladder and push him off the edge. (Link lives in a treehouse, remember?)
4. When he's going to pick up something, say: "Dabadabadabadabadabadaba..." When he picked up the item, yell: "Da-da-da-daaaaah!"
5. Buy a Link plushie, wave it in front of him like it's doing attacks and yell: "HAAARGH! YAAA! ARRRGH!!"
6. Remind him that Tetra winked at him three times in Wind Waker.
7. Tell him that he couldn't do anything without Linebeck in Phantom Hourglass.
8. Fill one of his bottles with sour milk.
9. Ask him what kind of shampoo he uses. If he doesn't tell, pull his hair violently. If he does, buy a bunch of those shampoo bottles and throw them at him.
10. Jump on to his back, and say: "I'm Midna, and you have to do EXACTLY as
:iconAminellelia:Aminellelia
:iconaminellelia:Aminellelia 297 207
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Literature
Project: UM Code Name: Sonic
Chapter 1: The Secret of the Hiding Experiment
Shadow and Maria were running down the hall. A gunshot rang out and Maria gasped as if hit. She slowed herself down as if feeling a great deal of pain. She looked at Shadow and saw him looking at her from the corner of an eye.
"Are you-"
"We'll worry about that later Shadow, Grandfather told me to get you out of here."
"But Maria..."
Now in the room with escape pods, Maria couldn't help but regret what she was about to do, she thought about the still small hedgehog hidden somewhere in the ARK, remembering that he was going to make Shadow stronger. Maria contemplated how she and the project would get to the planet as she set up the launch of Shadow's escape pod. 'I'm sorry Shadow...'
Shadow gasped as one of the pods came down with him inside. "Maria, what are you doing? You have to get out of here too!"
"I'm sorry Shadow," she threw herself on the floor and made what she knew Shadow would always remember. "Shadow, you were created for the b
:iconJessieLowkies:JessieLowkies
:iconjessielowkies:JessieLowkies 70 25
Literature
Cheese
cheese, oh cheese, I like you cheese!
I like you cheese, oh smelly cheese!
with your cheesy ways
how you can please!
I love you my yellow cheese.
I would love you in the day.
I would love you lat at night.
for you my chedder cheese
I would put up a fight!
you are my yummy cheese!
I give my pledge to the farm
so the cows receive no harm
for these creatures are the makers
of my creamy cheese
cheese, oh cheese, oh geez, i live you cheese!
cheese
cheese
:iconblood-lillie:blood-lillie
:iconblood-lillie:blood-lillie 135 153
Literature
Obsessed With Doctor Who When
Obsessed with Doctor Who when....
1. You think fezzes are cool.
2. you think bowties are cool and you want to wear them everyday of your life.
3. Wearing a vegetable seems fashionable.
4. You have a button that says David Tennant makes me squee. (sad to say I own one.)
5. Angel statues scare the holy fuck out of you.
6. You have an action figure of your favorite Doctor and carry him around everywhere. (I have two. one of Tom Baker, and Matt Smith wearing a fez and holding a mop.)
7. Apples are rubbish.
8. Pears are gross and disgusting.
9. You see a british phonebooth and you automatically claim it as your own TARDIS and invite your best friend to go see the dinosaurs with you in said TARDIS.(I have one!)
10. You like Bananas.
11. You get into major arguments with Back To The Future fans.
12. You want your own personal Dalek.
13. You have written Bad Wolf on atleast one thing that is blue.
14. You know atleast three songs by Billie Piper.
15. You watch Law and Order UK now that Freema
:iconLike-A-British-Guy:Like-A-British-Guy
:iconlike-a-british-guy:Like-A-British-Guy 178 84
Literature
Ode To The Tsundere
He loves me not, he says with blushing cheek.
He'd rather die a fiery death than kiss
A girl with zero sex appeal, a geek
(he says it twice for extra emphasis).
So why the constant stares? I ask. He lies.
He hates the sight of me, he quickly shouts –
Without the scorn his panicked oath implies.
The dissonance contributes to my doubts.
Alone one day, he smiles at me; I gasp.
A joke? A lapse of judgment? Or perhaps
A glimpse of truth at last within my grasp!
I kiss his cheek and watch his walls collapse.
A victory for me, like striking gold.
For him, a death by kisses hot and cold.
:iconAcaciathorn:Acaciathorn
:iconacaciathorn:Acaciathorn 536 195
Literature
Portal Limerick
There once was a girl named Chell
Who was threatened with Android Hell
She burned her cube friend
But got revenge in the end
Although Glados doesn't burn very well
:icondacoolcat:dacoolcat
:icondacoolcat:dacoolcat 76 9
Literature
Alfred i Ivan
Ivan i Alfred w jednym spali łożu
Ivan na górze, a Alfred na dole
Alfred, spokojny, nie wadził nikomu, mając gier od gromu
Ivan najdziksze wymyślał swawole.
Ciągle planował w swoim pokoju:
To Prusak, to Honda - między mapy, kraje
Gonił, niszczył, rozwalał stołki
Gwałcił i bił, jęczał do znoju
Znosił to Alfred, nareszcie nie może
Schodzi do Ivcia i prosi w pokorze:
- Zmiłuj się waćpan, pracuj ciszej nieco,
Bo od Twej aury szyby z okien lecą.
A na to Ivan: - A więc chodź, Fredziku
Do mojego domku.
Cóż byle mówić? Alfred nie pisnął,
Wrócił do siebie i czapkę nacisnął.
Nazajutrz Ivan jeszcze smacznie chrapie,
A tu z powały coś mu na nos kapie.
Zerwał się z łóżka i pędzi na górę.
Stuk! Puk! - Uchylone. Spogląda przez szparę
I widzi... Có
:iconYuuxCian:YuuxCian
:iconyuuxcian:YuuxCian 65 3
Literature
Beer
Beer, Beer, It's you I hold dear.
I hold you with love, you hold me from fear.
Ale, Ale, Tell me a tale.
Sent from above, you never shall fail.
Drink, Drink, No time to think.
Another one gone, another to sink.
Beer, Beer, Forever be near.
To sing me your song year after Year.
:iconredkefka:redkefka
:iconredkefka:redkefka 57 25
Literature
A Sonnet Call
No anger fills me, though i'm rather pissed
as here I stand and testify with drawl
(by stand I mean I'm propped against a wall—
I conquered seven vodkas with a twist).
My call is for a woman I once kissed;
the girl back at the bar that stopped the brawl
and told me that I had one lovely call!
As firm as metal clasped around my wrist,
her love has grasped my heart and won't let go.
My lawyer said I should not say a word,
but I must tell the world about this treat!
Inebriated glee from head to toe
that frees my heart and makes my vision blurred…
oh officer, you make my life complete.
:iconsuckerforsunrises:suckerforsunrises
:iconsuckerforsunrises:suckerforsunrises 67 72
Literature
An IchiHime Night Before Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through Las Noches
Not a Hollow was stirring, not even in shadows.
My stocking was hung by the window with care,
With dreams beyond hope that help would be there.
Now I was curled up by myself in my bed,
While visions of red bean paste danced in my head.
Ulquiorra had left me alone in my cell
To just settle down and to sleep for a spell.
When out on the sands there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew, grasped the bars,
And lifted myself to look out at the stars.
The moon on the breast of the shining white sand
Gave the luster of midday to all of the land.
When, what to my wondering eyes should attack
But a bright-colored serpent with five on its back.
With an orange-haired driver who was so like a knight
I knew in a moment 'twas the love of my life.
More rapid than flash step his bankai it came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called me by name.
"Inoue! We're here now! At last we br
:iconSariniste:Sariniste
:iconsariniste:Sariniste 45 76
Literature
The Wolfaboo
The wolfaboo
Once upon a forum dreary, while I browsed weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious post of forgotten forum lore,
While I flicked through hotlinks clicked suddenly there came a barking,
As if someone were posting, gently posting on page four.
'Tis a roleplay', I muttered, 'posting there on page four-
Only that and nothing more.'
Oh how it buzzed my lone computer, connected there via the router,
It thrilled me, filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating, of my heart I stood repeating,
'Tis a roleplay taking place on this thread's page four-
Some late roleplay taking place on this thread's page four-
That it is, and nothing more.'
Presently my will grew stronger, hesitating then no longer,
'Sirs' said I, 'or by chance madam, your forgiveness I implore'
But the fact is I was browsing, and your posts they had me rousing,
Though so faintly you came playing, roleplaying on page four,
That I barely thought I saw you.' Here
:iconZiblink:Ziblink
:iconziblink:Ziblink 91 100
Literature
The Guide
For a minute there I thought I
was at the wrong house. Then you tried
to fetch your toast with a fork, while
it was plugged in. Now the tile
floor is scuffed up and you're all fried.
Makes my job easy. Oh don't try
to plead or beg. This is your time
to follow me, no need to lie
for a minute
or an hour. Whichever kind
of bargain you have isn't my
problem. My job is to file
your soul for future trial.
Though, I guess, I'll let you cry
for a minute.
:iconCatsitta:Catsitta
:iconcatsitta:Catsitta 42 38
Literature
Jakby, wyznanie
„Litwo!  Ojczyzno moja! Ty jesteś jak zdrowie!” –
Krzyczał wzniośle Polska. Litwa śmiał się w rowie
Poniżej pagórka, na łączce zielonej,
Zewsząd malowniczym lasem polskim otoczonej.
Tegoż dnia pięknego, po rannym bigosie,
Spojrzał Feliks na Torisa, lecz ten był nie w sosie.
Spokojny, zamyślony, w obrus się wpatrywał.
Siedział tak i milczał. Nic nie okazywał.
Ściągnął brwi nasz Polska. „To już raz kolejny,
Gdy tak Liciek siedzi, milcząc jak najęty” –
Podsumował Feliks, poirytowany.
A przecież się starał i chciał dobrze. Rany!
Mógłby się załamać, lecz tu nagle pomysł
Mu zaświtał. „Tak? No to zobaczysz, Toris…”
Uśmiechnął się w rękaw. Teraz się wykaże.
„Chodź – rzekł do Litwy.
:iconFallenAnn:FallenAnn
:iconfallenann:FallenAnn 45 87
Literature
I Want to Feel Purple
I feel so Blue
Blue as Cinderella's ball gown
Blue as the clothes I'm wearing
Blue as my desktop background
Blue as my ipod's casing
Blue as facebook's theme colour
Blue as the tiles in my bathroom
Blue as my evanescence CD cover
Blue as a smurf cartoon
Blue as the Israeli flag
Blue as the color of Squidward's blood
Blue as an avatar dressed in a rag
Blue as the town that drowned in a flood
Blue as the sleepy twitter whale
Blue as the villain in 'Big Fat Liar'
Blue as the scrubs that doctors wear
Blue as the hottest flame of fire
I feel so Blue
What should I do?
I think I'll mix a little red
So I can feel purple instead!
:iconA-w0man:A-w0man
:icona-w0man:A-w0man 1,703 375
Literature
The Couplet and the Villanelle
The Couplet and the Villanelle
Said the couplet to the villanelle
"You, for all of your complexity
really are a vacuum and a shell
overwrought and odd, compared to me.
You, for all your cunning and your craft
your metaphors and similes and signs
conjure awkward rhymes that make me laugh
strung together in repeating lines."
Said the villanelle to couplet small
"I know I can ramble on at times
but, you know, you are inside of me
and you are complicit in my rhymes.
What's ironic though, you know... doggonnit.
both of us are stuck within this sonnet."
:iconMystakaphoros:Mystakaphoros
:iconmystakaphoros:Mystakaphoros 178 65
Literature
A Transformer's Christmas
Twas the night before Christmas and all throughout Cybertron
Nothing was running or humming, not even hungry Sharkicons
Each little Autobot and Decepticon buffed all their nicks
Oiled their hinges and shut off their optics
Everyone had stopped the fighting to recharge for the next day
In hopes they will feel great for the next vicious, barbaric fray
Even the leader of the factions, both Megatron and Prime
Thought they needed the rest and went off-line
It was a cold, cold night on that robotic planet in space
And nobody was moving any ‘bouts of the place
Except for one robot, a very excited guy
Who worked hard all year, this is no lie
He toiled all year in the secret of his workshop
Making a gross of creations that nobody could top.
And he finished on time on that very special night
To load the presents in his sleigh and to take flight.
And off he soared through that starry clad sky
Waking up each little bot as he flew by
Each of them hearing him called the seekers by name,
Who dre
:iconEmilou1985:Emilou1985
:iconemilou1985:Emilou1985 49 14
Literature
Bacon.
Sizzling, salty, yet sublime,
yours is a flavor most divine.
A royal treat of humble reign,
enjoyed by all who ache with pain.
Fatty grease licked off of fingers,
has a taste so exquisite it surely lingers.
With a crunch, a moan, and lastly a swallow,
bacon is still delectable without a trace of marrow.
:iconlupus-astra:lupus-astra
:iconlupus-astra:lupus-astra 280 269
Literature
I want to be a Guinea Pig
I want to be a guinea pig,
And snuffle each moment away,
I want to be small, cute and cuddly,
And have a hutch in which to stay.
I want to eat lettuce and guinea food,
And have people stroke my fur,
I want to be the cutest creature,
A hairy little blur.
I want to have a nice guinea home,
To live my guinea way,
I want to turn into a Guinea pig,
To be sweet and sleep in hay.
I want to have a big garden,
So I can explore and snuffle and dig,
I really really want to be,
A snuggly guinea pig!
:iconJoseyWales:JoseyWales
:iconjoseywales:JoseyWales 87 85
Literature
Jeremy and The Sky
Jeremy was a certified dragon.
He’s all the things a dragon tends to be;
a tail, two wings, and many a talon
and fire that brews in his round belly.
At seven Jeremy learned how to fly.
He spread his sprawling cape of blackened wings
and off he sped, up to meet with the sky
to hear it whisper of such wond’rous things.
“If mortals knew how far up I can go
they surely would not fear me any more!
Up on my back, I’d give them such a show
that they would cease the killing in this war!”
Jeremy never told them of his trick
on landing he was pelted with a brick.
:iconPoetryOD:PoetryOD
:iconpoetryod:PoetryOD 34 21
Literature
Death of an Ant
Sometimes I wonder while squishing an ant
If maybe I just killed the insect Rembrandt.
Or maybe a Mozart or Gandhi or Bell--
If he was special, how could I tell?
What if, in my moment of deepest frustration,
I wrecked the future of bug civilization?
What if every one of those spiders I've killed
Caused the words of a prophet to remain unfulfilled?
Or those beetles I drowned in the asparagus bed--
Who cares for the family when the parents are dead?
But then a mosquito leaves an itchy red welt,
And I'm no longer sorry for the death that I've dealt.
:iconella-vere:ella-vere
:iconella-vere:ella-vere 76 25
Literature
No-one forgets a good teacher
"Listen to me or I'll break your legs"
                                               - Steve Thompson
Dear Sir. Not sir. It's automatic.
Sorry Steve. Dear Steve. I'm fed
On seven years of autocratic
Tiffinisms: "genuflect
to teachers." Seven years' emphatic
Faire-sans-dire still in my head.
Dear Steve. Your style was more dramatic
you taught life and art instead:
Stoppard, condoms, mathematics,
goatee beards and Berthold Brecht
and Bigmouth Strikes Again, such is
what you gave us, plus the threat
of a half a term on crutches
for ignoring you. Dear Steve - respect.
:iconLazyLinePainterJohn:LazyLinePainterJohn
:iconlazylinepainterjohn:LazyLinePainterJohn 145 76
Literature
Hobo
If I were a hobo what would I do?
I'd live in a box and pee on you.
I'd sleep on the ground instead of a bed,
and bugs would live in the hair on my head.
I'd live on the streets, homes aren't an option.
And kids, if they're lucky, get put up for adoption.
And in the winter I might get frost bit,
but nobody cares, not one little bit.
I do not eat and I will not live long,
so when you see a hobo remember this song.
:iconWhiteWind13:WhiteWind13
:iconwhitewind13:WhiteWind13 101 49