Published: October 9, 2010
He walks slowly along a passage, and it seems the passage is endless
or is it a maze of different passages and halls? He doesn't know
he is not sure in anything.
There's mist everywhere and dim light
and everything seems the same
or is it the same really
maybe it's a circle, he thinks, but the thought is forgotten the very moment it appears
He approaches a door, and the door seems familiar. Has he been here already? Has he returned here for some reason or just by a coincidence? Or is it only a false memory? When all memories are mixed and misty, it's hard to tell
He sits down, leaning his back against the door. The door is locked, and it also seems familiar. Perhaps it's always locked, and he comes here and sits like that now and then
He tries to remember something
it must be something important, that he has forgotten
He has been going somewhere
why? He must find something, yes
something he has lost
something else, not memories, they were lost later. But what is that something? Was it an object
a word? A name maybe? Maybe it's not even something he is looking for, but somebody? Faces
they evade him. He remembers somebody, but can't remember how they looked
who they were... They did something to him
or he did something to them
He buries his face in hands and makes one last effort to remember
it was long ago... there was something important behind it. He gets up and tries to open the door, but it won't open
Finally he steps aside and walks slowly further.
why is it here? Should it be here? And what place is this "here"? He doesn't remember
He doesn't know even how he got here or he has been always here
no, not always! He is suddenly very sure about it. He was in some other places before. He may not remember them, but they were
He walks on, cherishing the memories of that strange door until they fade away
he realizes that he has just forgotten something.
" he murmurs and wants to say "weird" but he can't remember the word. It feels odd
he sighs and continues walking.
The passage divides into two
he doesn't remember which one he should choose
he doesn't remember he always chooses the right one just because it's right
It feels right.
This time he turns left and walks, still thinking that the walls seem familiar
even when they disappear in the mist and he finds himself in a large hall. He knows he has been here before
because he really has.
There's a tall dark figure in the centre of the hall. He approaches it to see clearer. The figure turns out to be a dark-haired man in violet robes. The man watches him intently and their eyes finally meet
the memories flood his mind
He remembers the silmarils
kinslaying in Alqualonde, ships burning in Losgar
Tears run down his cheeks, but he doesn't realize he is crying
because another memory fills everything the memory of the vala, who changed everything
all his life. And he remembers the name.