Updates on personal life #8

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Points i'll be covering:
:pointr: Cancelled wedding
:pointr: New apartment
:pointr: New cat
:pointr: Birthday


:heart:

I. Cancelled wedding


    If you read the last update i posted you know that things weren't going all that well and now, finally, after almost 6 years of relationship, we, mostly him, decided that it would be better for us to go our own separate ways. I won't lie and say i'm happy, or that i don't regret it; i do, i regret the 6 wasted years of my life which i can't get back, i regret all the feelings, hopes and money i invested into this relationship, but most of all i regret being all this time with a person who turned out not to be the one i thought he was or wanted the things he said he wanted with me, for us. But for my own sake it's better for me this way in the long run. Who on this Earth accepts being second place in the life of the loved one, and knowing this, he still doesn't give anything back? Doesn't meet me in the middle? I did. I regret that i didn't walk away two years ago when we first broke up for the exact same reason. People don't change and i was a fool for believing and hoping otherwise.

    I have good days and bad days. I don't feel particularly heartbroken, but rather deeply disappointed and betrayed. I am emotionally unstable now but i manage better than the last time, partly because i think i knew in the back of my head that i was living a lie and i was expecting this to come sooner or later. Unfortunately, it came rather late and now, after living in and for two and planning my life to match with his, i am confused because i don't know what to do with myself. But I will go on, i will still move in that new apartment that was supposed to be our new home, i won't look back and i will live my life the way i was supposed to, and by that i mean being happy, single or with someone else. Because for a long time i wasn't happy but i kept fighting it for us, but now i know i was just blinded by love and by the comforting feeling of having that someone, good or bad, beside me, a person i can think of when i have a bad day at work.

    In the end, all i can say is that i don't want to spend my life with a person that is at the same time selfish, coward and a liar. I want and deserve a person who will love me the same way i love him, who will put me in first place in his life, who will want the same things in life as i do and who will stay true to me. I had none of these and i was wrong for settling for less than what i wanted and deserved, yet i still fought for that relationship until the very end. Looking back, i was stupid to do so. Don't worry about me though, i might not be feeling great now, but my lady cat and my friends are helping me to get back on my feet again.
 

:heart:

II. New apartment



    Right now i just ordered furniture for the kitchen and matrimonial bedroom. Last time i promised some pictures so here they are (sorry for the quality).

Living room
20160326 094741 by Lintu4720160326 094758 by Lintu47

Matrimonial bedroom plus its bathroom
20160326 094935 by Lintu4720160326 094926 by Lintu47
20160326 095836 by Lintu4720160326 095846 by Lintu4720160326 095823 by Lintu47

Service bathroom
20160326 095748 by Lintu4720160326 095753 by Lintu47

Part of the hallway
20160326 100221 by Lintu47
(right - kitchen, middle - living room, left - small bedroom and where you can't
see in the far left is the service bath and the big bedroom with its own bathroom)

    I don't have any pictures for the kitchen, which is very small or the smaller bedroom, which is, of course, smaller than the other one and doesn't have its own bath.


:heart:

III. New cat


    I will get a new kitten after all to keep me and my old lady company in our new home. I'm not turning into a crazy cat lady, and even if i do, it doesn't matter as long as i am happy. I lived for so long in the shadow of others' happiness that it feels weird thinking "Holy fuck, i can do it if i want it! And i will because it makes me happy". So. When baby cat will come into my life i will let you know and even post pictures of it. Finally something to truly look forward to. :la:


:heart:

IV. Birthday


Happy Birthday to us! 26 & 11 as of today :heart:

12936709 1005505586170795 2960684844554740983 N by Lintu47


Just look at this amazing drawing my dear friend Tudalia-Hex made for me. Thank you, it really, really means a lot :tighthug:

Happy Birthday Cristina! by Tudalia-Hex
   
And thank you Miguel-Santos for also thinking of me, thank you so much for your kind words :huggle:

Walk Through Darkness by Miguel-Santos


    Thank you for the point gifts, they were very much appreciated as well :hug:
    I'd also like to take my time and thank each and every one of you who wished me a Happy Birthday, i really appreciate it and given the current times, they really made me feel better
:love:


:iconimelodyrsb: :iconfarahin001: :icondieffi: :iconxxlacu: :iconrinrose7: :iconfoureyes: :iconhoshiblue21: :iconlyrictherascal1313: :icongymnosophist: :iconpeanutbuttergal: :icongeorgexvii: :iconannewipf: :iconlukasfractalizator: :iconengleheart: :iconbluajisai: :iconsuperpainter100: :iconfarand: :iconawesomekat3: :icontsnickers: :icon0-acerlot-0: :iconmcmxc2: :iconevilcrowbar: :iconzee-who: :iconcov3t: :iconhotaru-chan6666: :iconcinnamoncandy: :iconthegalleryofeve: :iconkmygraphic: :iconjaseekadarkblade2020: :iconbunfoxx20studios: :iconheidik1: :iconakiotakuchan: :iconmilenkadelic: :icontetrisfan01: :iconnadjagarnet: :iconjasperinity: :iconlovingkitten29: :icongelu509: :iconbitnami: :iconvasidragos: :iconghost1138: :iconjenfruzz: :icontom-lucitor: :iconcarlosae: :iconkenedy421: :iconmamoruk1n: :iconmagical525: :iconsesam-is-open: :iconpinkythepink: :icontanukky::iconlexxicon23: :iconbyzho: :iconboubacat: :iconrosaalina: :iconevab100: :iconxxdangerousacrobatxx: :iconsupermariofan65: :icongummithewolf: :iconviidith22: :iconqindynasty97: :iconskyfiredragon: :iconadmx: :iconzorrohills: :iconbirthdays: :iconrejmann: :iconchiili-nebula: :icondreamangelflight:


:heart:

    As i said in the last journals, "i cannot emphasize enough the importance of routine checkups and doctor visits when something unusual comes up, regardless of how unimportant it might seem to you at the moment. Please don't ignore your health, it's the most precious thing you were born with and you have to protect it". I mean every word of it. And take care of your pets too, either it's a budgie or a cat, a hamster or a dog, they all feel pain and we, as their friends and caretakers, need to treat them as part of the family. Do not ever abandon your pet in their time of need!
    Lastly, don't wait for special occasions to express your feelings to those you love, life is unpredictable and you never know how much time you have left to spend with your loved ones, so make every moment of it count.
    I will be back with personal updates when i will have other news for you. I appreciate every message from you, your support means a lot to me. Meanwhile, take care of yourselves and enjoy life! :hug:

Love,
Cristina.



--
Don't let the fact that you can say a lot of things on the internet without consequences take away your decency.
Stay safe! ♥

Comments133
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hanachi-san's avatar
Oh, dear, I'm so sorry to hear that.
I hope you find someone who will truly love you and accept you!
<3 Until then, you have your followers who truly love you and your creations.