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:iconronniebegoode:
ronniebegoode Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
This is just heartbreaking. Great art heartbreaking, but still ... disturbing, unsettling.
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:iconlilyunsub:
LilyUnsub Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm very curious to know what you see in this, what this means to you if you'd be willing to share that with me? (privately if you'd prefer)
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:iconaletessa:
Aletessa Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
If it's ok for me to answer too, it reminds me of depression.  Hiding pain that no one believes in because there doesn't seem to be any reason for it, and you can never convince anyone that it *is* the reason.  Until you can hardly believe in it yourself.
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:iconlilyunsub:
LilyUnsub Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Ofc, its a beautiful thing that you want to. Have you tried considering that the depression is not you? That it is like a depressed person trapt in your head and you are the cage it sits in. It screams out how unloved it is, how worthless it feels, how much it feels hopeless and because you can't see it and it has the same sounding voice as you that you start to believe that it *is* you. But it isn't. It is a voice in your head that you can't see. You are the container it is held in. The same way that your mind is held within your body but it is not your body. Soul > Mind > Body. My soul is not contained within the limits of my body, my body is contained within the limitlessness of my soul.
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:iconaletessa:
Aletessa Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
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:iconlilyunsub:
LilyUnsub Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Heart Heart Heart 
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:iconronniebegoode:
ronniebegoode Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Sent you a note.
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:iconlilyunsub:
LilyUnsub Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Heya Ronnie,

I appreciate that you took the time to write privately out of respect for my privacy. They are very personal but I'm not afraid of being visible. Infact quite the opposite. They very much have been a therapy of sorts. It has been my way of reaching passed the voice, the ego, to the truth of myself. The art is my mirrors. Bicamerialis is very much that idea but the clue is in the name. All of the people in it are variations of 'me'. They are the ideas of self that my mind created in order to try and cope or understand itself. The idea of the Bicameral mind is that there is a self, and a voice. That the self is separate from the thought of self. Mind, Body AND soul. The exploration of these ideas of sexual self broke down each of the personas that I had because the things I know did not fit the perspective that I held in each one of them. Destroying each one brought me a new perspective (it is why I identify strongly with the phoenix). Destruction is a form of creation in that respect. So when I was creating these, it was in that creative process that I was discovering these aspects. My soul was talking to my mind through art (as it did through music) because in the process of creation, my mind was quiet. It was a place of calm. I never feel like I am 'creating' something only really discovering something. As though I already knew it and my mind was trying to understand it in the same way that science creates theories. A persona, or sense of self, is like a Theory of Self to fit the facts, but in the evidence of new facts that don't fit or disprove the theory, the theory has to change. So too, then, does the idea of Self. I have had what many would consider a terrible life experience due to becoming self aware at a very young age. Trauma upon trauma going back to the original causal link and it has been through music, discussions with other people and finally through Art that I was able to work back through all of it, understanding the 'why' of each of my inherent kinks. When someone takes power away from you, your minds only way to regain that power is to sexualise it (at least it is for me) so that you can regain that power in a safe, sane, loving and consentual way. But if you are stuck listening to the voice in your head, the ego, it will confuse things and tell you that if you have a rape fantasy (for an extreme example, since it was the biggest point of cognitive dissonance for me), that you must have wanted to have been raped which causes the guilt that victims of abuse almost always feel. But the truth is the opposite. BECAUSE I had that experience, my mind sexualised it in order to survive it. It created a power imbalance within me that my mind couldn't rationalise. So I had to change my perspective in order for it to fit. It is precisely that process that I'm trying to help others to understand. That you are not the voice in your head.

The biggest problem in the world right now is that there are two perspectives on power dynamics. One is based in a psychopathic view of the world and one is based in an empathic one. Our society has always had the psychopathic view of power as the dominant one. That power can only be taken. But we are at a point where the empathic view is becoming the more dominant. That power can be given. This is the basis for most religions (buddhism, christianity, etc) at their core even though they have been corrupted by a dominant psychopathic frame of reference. Power dynamics within humanity are at the core of our society and all of our interactions. The problem is in people judging themselves because of the thoughts they have. Their sexual desires being the definition of the 'hidden self'. But you are not the thoughts in your head. You are not your sexual desires. We are all capable of terrible things and capable of beautiful things. Empathy is the only thing that makes a difference. It is what allows us to connect not only with each other but with everything. 90% of the world are able to be both psychopathic and empathetic. They can swing between the extremes or be somewhere in the middle. No one wants to believe it, that they are capable of terrible things, but its been proven over and over within our history. That if they believe there are no consequences, people will do anything. Then there is the other 10%. Half of which are psychopaths who cannot feel empathy and the other half are empaths, who cannot turn it off. But there is a purpose for both in the world and its becoming more and more apparent. We are actually incredibly lucky to be here in this time because it is the biggest turning point within human evolution. We are the closest we have ever come to the eye of the hurricane.

The mind, like the body, is a vehicle for experience. They feed the soul and the soul is consciousness. Consciousness is like a river forming a circle around the earth, throwing drops into the mud to become one of any infinite number of things, to experience itself in new ways and then return to the river to do so again. I understand my part in this story greater then myself and I can be calm in the knowledge that these things I've seen are going to happen, I can enjoy each new experience through the pure bliss of a consciousness in love with experience. I thought I was a storyteller trying to become art but I am a story in the art of becoming. Some of this might not make sense and I'd be happy to go into more detail to clarify things but I know that anyone who reads this will recognise it as truth. Truth feels different. It FEELS real. It is why I can say that even though I have barely begun to know you, I love you from the top of my overflowing heart and I feel honoured to be sharing a part in your story.

Lily xX Heart Xx
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:iconkniggets-could-have:
Kniggets-Could-Have Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2017  Hobbyist Artist
Powerful and very well expressed.
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:iconlilyunsub:
LilyUnsub Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you Heart Heart Heart 
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:iconmontycrusto:
montycrusto Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2017   Traditional Artist
I wish you were doing the "Kinktober challenge" along with me, this would be perfect for "Cage" :)
Fabulous drawing, great interpretation of an intriguing concept.  (grrr..watermarks..grrr)
Amazing work!  :clap: :clap:
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:iconlilyunsub:
LilyUnsub Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Whats the Kinktober Challenge?? o.O sorry bout the watermarks xD but thank you for the huge compliments, I really really appreciate them :)
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:iconmontycrusto:
montycrusto Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2017   Traditional Artist
Have you heard of "Inktober"? it's a very popular thing with artists especially those who use traditional materials;  the idea is to produce one new work (however sketchy) every day for the whole of October, and share them on-line;  a lot of people do it on deviantArt.  The interesting thing is that you start with a list of words, one for each day, and everyone has the same list;  they're just prompts to give you an idea or something to latch on to.

Anyway, I wanted to have a go, but being the kinky bastard I am, I decided to make it "Kinktober" instead, and asked my watchers to suggest words for my own personal list;  which they did.  Then another artist joined in and is doing the same list of words ("cage" was yesterday, today it's "warrior"), and now I've just discovered two other artists are using the list as well.   If you're interested there's more about it on my profile page.  Sorry for rambling on!

so anyway, you're welcome for the comments, your work is fascinating and distinctive!  The watermarks, well, if you find them useful it's your call of course;  I don't bother with them personally (that's probably why I never sell any prints, lol.) 
cheers,
~monty
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:iconlilyunsub:
LilyUnsub Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I actually hadn't until you mentioned it haha. Thats such a cool idea! Wish I'd known earlier xD I love kinky people, anyone who is 'strange' in the eyes of the world. Pure hearts with dirty minds. I'm definitely going to go read your list :D I find the watermarks kind of useful because I often see art online and wish I could find the artist but there is no reference or mark to show where to go. In the age we live in where everything is shared and reshared, being able to find the source of the things I love can often be more challenging then putting it out there in the first place. I don't think it detracts from the art but I understand the desire for people to see all of the work in its entirety. Its the same reason I put full songs up on my soundcloud. I want people to hear the whole thing. Knowing full well it will likely be ripped from soundcloud, but I'd rather they connect and be able to get in touch if they want to. Personalise the work in a way that I become a part of their story, rather then a prop within their narrative.
I'm looking forward to my big royalty payment next month as there is a work of yours I want to get a print of for my studio <3
~Lily xX
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:iconmontycrusto:
montycrusto Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2017   Traditional Artist
"Pure hearts with dirty minds" - I love it.. :)  I hear what you say about watermarks, and like you, I hate to see artwork shorn of its connection to the artist that made it.  It's why I always sign my work somewhere where it would be slightly more difficult to just crop off (though it wouldn't be hard to remove of course).  For me, the watermarks do detract from the art, in some pieces more than others...  it depends what else is going on in the image.  I just find it hard to look past it;  it becomes a part of the image as soon as you put it on there.  But of course I understand and respect your reasons for doing it.  and of course I can always see it unwatermarked if I buy a print!  I prefer not to watermark, with my work;  I'd rather people lalways saw it without that visual barrier, even if it means it's more likely to get stolen or misappropriated. I guess it means I'll never sell any prints though, because everyone can just download and print them for free at the moment.  

However, if you do decide to buy a print, that would be awesome, and you'd be my first customer!  :)  I'm now going to try and guess which one you might be after...  (thinks....)
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:iconlilyunsub:
LilyUnsub Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I definitely understand that, I often forget to sign my work because I put myself into it in other ways (the red shoes, tie, etc). But its important because it links back to the greater story of self and that exploration which is all of your work and everything that influences it outside of the art itself. I do wonder if your guess is going to be the same as the one I have in my cart at the moment hehe. It'd be such an honour to be the first. My first (and currently only) print was bought by my brother a month or so ago. He bought Verisimilitude as an enormous gallery size print that he hung in his hallway and then sent me a photo of it with him as the way to let me know haha. Such a beautiful soul.
  20643926 10154715578736615 1265778883 N by LilyUnsub  
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:iconmontycrusto:
montycrusto Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2017   Traditional Artist
why is it back-to-front?  Nice of your brother!  Can't imagine my work hanging in my family member's homes.  None of my family knows what I do here  ;) and no-one here knows who I am in RL..  I'd like to keep things that way if possible  :D
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:iconlilyunsub:
LilyUnsub Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
think its just the camera flipping the image (happens on the selfie camera on most phones). Yeah, I felt pretty bad seeing my mums reaction to some of my artwork. But its because what my art does is show the level of dissociation in people. If you find it confronting then your mind is unable to tell the difference between a fantasy and a reality. To appreciate something without judgement. I can understand why you'd want to keep it that way haha, I on the other hand have chosen not to. I spent my entire life being invisible but visibility is the key to challenging the status quo. Invisibility is how abuse stays as abuse and why fantasy is judged as reality. If someone can see me, that I am a pure heart who helps and has helped so many people around the world through music and art and just talking and connecting in a completely selfless way, with unconditional love and understanding and then sees the dirty mind I have, it creates this complete contradiction that causes cognitive dissonance. That dissonance is between the voice in their head, telling them to judge, and the true self, that sees who I am. If that causes them to look into how it can possibly be that I have a dirty mind and a pure heart, they will see the truth about consciousness, abuse/violence and sexual healing. It will create a dissonance so strong that the only thing that will ease that feeling is the truth. That we are not the voice in our heads, that we are not our sexual desires, and that understanding those desires and where they come from is the only way to heal from them and not continue on the same self destructive patterns.
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Submitted on
October 13, 2017
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13.8 MB
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4705×6962
Mature Content
Yes
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Canon
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Canon MG5500 series
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IJ Scan Utility