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Aspergers in Costumer Service has a toll :iconlightsthroughshadow:Lightsthroughshadow 5 2
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Why do I not want to be around people? :iconlightsthroughshadow:Lightsthroughshadow 4 7
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I am anxious all the time :iconlightsthroughshadow:Lightsthroughshadow 3 0
Gand by Lightsthroughshadow Gand :iconlightsthroughshadow:Lightsthroughshadow 4 0 Admiral Ackbar by Lightsthroughshadow Admiral Ackbar :iconlightsthroughshadow:Lightsthroughshadow 9 1 Luke Skywalker by Lightsthroughshadow Luke Skywalker :iconlightsthroughshadow:Lightsthroughshadow 8 2 Rogue One sneak attack by Lightsthroughshadow Rogue One sneak attack :iconlightsthroughshadow:Lightsthroughshadow 10 2 Bossk by Lightsthroughshadow Bossk :iconlightsthroughshadow:Lightsthroughshadow 5 1 Jawa by Lightsthroughshadow Jawa :iconlightsthroughshadow:Lightsthroughshadow 4 0
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Being mildly autistic is like force sensitivity
Being mildly autistic is like being force sensitive?
As a young man with Aspergers Syndrome which is a mild form of autism and also being a long time Star Wars fan I can’t help but find Star Wars and my real life have some interesting parallels.
The parallels I talk about are the similarities of people with autistic spectrum disorder and force sensitives in Star Wars.
Like for one thing for both force sensitives and people with autism, both groups have to find out they have either conditions as soon as possible to be able to get a grasp of themselves.
With force sensitives in Star Wars, the Jedi would seek out individuals of all species throughout the galaxy who possibly have force sensitivity as young as possible to start training them from an earlier age so they can be skilled Jedi by the time they are adults to be a benefit to the galaxy.
Meanwhile with autistic spectrum disorder, people with this condition from all around the world from all walks of life, need to be diagnosed
:iconLightsthroughshadow:Lightsthroughshadow
:iconlightsthroughshadow:Lightsthroughshadow 3 2
My Ewok drawing by Lightsthroughshadow My Ewok drawing :iconlightsthroughshadow:Lightsthroughshadow 3 0
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There are times I kinda agree with the left :iconlightsthroughshadow:Lightsthroughshadow 2 0
Rogue One by Lightsthroughshadow Rogue One :iconlightsthroughshadow:Lightsthroughshadow 6 0 Empire hates aliens by Lightsthroughshadow Empire hates aliens :iconlightsthroughshadow:Lightsthroughshadow 5 0 Having a different opinion by Lightsthroughshadow Having a different opinion :iconlightsthroughshadow:Lightsthroughshadow 5 2 What needs to change in Star Wars by Lightsthroughshadow What needs to change in Star Wars :iconlightsthroughshadow:Lightsthroughshadow 17 9

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Aspergers in Costumer Service has it’s toll

For about maybe 2 years now I have been working in retail as a restocker. This is probably the longest job I have worked at since working at my family business which didn’t do so well.

Though my boss was smart enough to give me the job in store that is the least social oriented it doesn’t stop god damn costumers from coming up to me in store and asking me constant questions about this product or that product or asking me to open up the bathroom door for them which constantly takes me away from what I was doing.

I know I don’t technically talk to costumers that much compared to people on cash but when costumers keep coming near me all the time and asking me stuff over and over many shifts this past year........I start going crazy.

I can’t stop thinking negative and very angry thoughts like wanting time to speed up so I could be out of here and not having to deal with people.

I also wonder why I as a person with Aspergers need to even learn god damn social skills if costumers I constantly deal with in at work on a regular basis don’t have such great social skills themselves in the way they act thinking their needs are above everyone’s else or the crude things they say to you.

I had a costumer who is a regular at the store a few weeks ago call me Kim Jung Un up to my face which I felt was both mean spirited and racist to me as a person of Asian descent.

Here is the story in greater detail:

www.deviantart.com/lightsthrou…

What is the point of me pretending to smile or watching my tone if the people I keep meeting in life who aren’t even autistic I might add aren’t trying themselves to be socially polite?

Like for crying out loud I live in a world now where people everywhere keep trying to blame Donald Trump for everything from their country having less money to their cat being sick?

Like I live in a world today where most non autistic people I hear about go around savagely vandalizing property and monuments because they think these things are racist, sexist and homophobic when they could be using diplomacy and good social skills to talk their problems over like adults? Yet alot of people today don’t.

Also I hate how people can say that their race, gender, gender identity, and sexual orientation defines them and my family doctor goes and tells me after he found out I have Aspergers that my Aspergers doesn’t define me?

How come people in today’s world can be defined by their race, gender, and sexual orientation but I can’t be defined by my autism which is a big part of my person?

Heck I’ll even say this which many out there probably don’t want to hear but I’ll say it anyways which is that autism is probably more complex in alot of ways compared to a person’s race, gender and sexual orientation but no one today seems to give a damn.

To me people of different races, genders, orientations and whatever else they fight for in current politics today are to my perspective all the same type of people who are only slightly different from one another but keep thinking they are different when they aren’t.......I and others like me are the odds one in society not them and it was never them in my opinion.

I am always expected to act more neural typical which is not the way my brain was wired and yet the stupid non autistics keep expecting me to be like them when they themselves can’t even sort out their own shit which lead to things like the SJWs and Alt Right?

Why should I be like you if you are probably just as flawed as me? Why?

Why should I have to wear a stupid fucking mask of socializing if all non autistics are gonna just yell at me anyways no matter how patient I try to be with them over some stupid fucking product we don’t have in the back?

Or what the fuck is the point of learning to watch what I say if costumers each week ask me the sane dumbass question like “Do you work here?” Even though they can clearly see me wearing the company uniform?

Are these costumers just retarded or are they that dumb?

I’m the one with autism here, society should be more patient and understanding with me but I sometimes find I have to be the one that is patient and understanding with them when I can barely handle my own problems?

See what I have to deal with on a regular basis?

I will also say this.......non autistic people are the ones that caused all the wars on Earth throughout history from every culture out around the world and likely forced us autistics to build them their weapons to kill each other with.

So you want me a person with mild autism to emulate violent savages who understand the social norm or society as they are the majority over me just being myself being very awkward in talking and generally I don’t want to hurt anyone unlike say my non autistic counterparts?

It makes no sense to me?

I hate costumer service and I hate costumers, I hate that the costumer is always right crap when some are complete morons asking retarded questions like if I work at my store even though I am wearing a store uniform?

I hate humanity!!!!!

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Why do I not want to be around people?

This past while I have been extremely angry at my work because I keep getting shifts and am expected to keeping coming in for work.

Well that is the nature of work you may ask?

Well here is the thing for the past month or more I have been getting more shifts than I can handle as a part timer. I keep getting more than 3 shifts a week that are 4 to 5 shifts a week regularly that most last 4 hours with no break inbetween.

I get very very angry when I don’t eat after doing alot of heavy lifting in my job as a restock boy has me be at the store all the time and I am stuck around people all the time which makes me uncomfortable.

As someone with Aspergers Syndrome it takes alot of social energy for me to even look at a costumer in the eyes properly, use the right facial expression or using the right tone when conversing with costumers.

Just this past shift I accidentally yelled at a costumer when they asked “Is this the pudding on sale?”

I wanted to be left alone, to do my job and not be forced into a social situation so I replied “Yes” in a very aggressive tone practically scaring off the costumer making them comment on how I must’ve woke up on the wrong side of the bed and if they were the manager they wouldn’t stand for my behaviour.

I was so pissed off I kept getting shifts, I took some products like some granola bars and chucked them at the ground and punched a few when they wouldn’t stand up on the shelf properly when I put them there.

4 hours is like an eternity for me as how I get things done so fast at work. If I come in for shifts that are 2 to 3 shifts a week....I am fine but if I am asked to come in too much per week I become like Mr. Meseeks from Rick and Morty when he Jerry couldn’t get his golf swing right and Mr. Meseeks was stuck there longer than he needed to be until Jerry got his swing right.

Here is a video on what I am taking about

youtu.be/KtNRU73CFzg

Long story short I flip out and act crazy alot and likely scary the shit out of my coworkers and the costumers.

Most of my coworkers would ask me if I am okay and I reply I am fine but not really. I can’t control my emotions that well lately as I hate having worked a long week of continuous shifts hoping the next week would have time off for me only but am angry when I see I am scheduled even more shifts.

I become a totally different person filled with hatred, anger and rage and not even the extra pay could calm me from my frustration.

I get angry at the customers thinking in my mind.....I am here because of them when I just want to be at home alone not working and maybe resting my legs as I am so exhausted from moving around so much for the past several weeks.

I swear quietly yell still loud so that all could hear. I look at my iphone and see time is going by too slowly so I curse out loud the F word in rage.

I don’t want to be in this store around all these friggin people staring at me, most likely judging me and expecting me to serve them not understanding I am tired and don’t want to be in this building.

Reminds me of my days as a boy being forced to be in school for 6 hours 10 months a year for 12 grades where I got bullied, humiliated and other negative interaction with my peers.

Having Aspergers I was bullied non stop and I wanted the school day to go by so I could go home and not be around people. I had few friends and most people hated me and I sure as hell hated them back.

I couldn’t communicate properly with others kids, so I was punished for my difference like how a black man was punished for being black in the 1950s for simply just walking down the street near some white people.

I was different from other people and expected to be normal constantly??!!!

I never killed anyone yet I was labelled the bad guy no matter what???!!!

So at an early age I grew very very bitter and began to hate humanity as it hated me so much for me being myself.

I think alot of that hatred of being looked at for being different then getting bullied for it constant times for 6 hours of my life all throughout my childhood carried over into my adulthood which would explain why I can’t do a job that is less than 6 hours around people?

Cause like an amphibious creature I can only breathe on land for a small amount of tine before I need to jump back into the water to not die.

I can only be able to socialize or pretend to give a fuck about people for so long at my job in retail before I need to just be alone away from people completely.

I used to when I was younger wanted to get a girlfriend who would then become my wife and love me forever.......well that is a dream I can care less for now as I got older and older along with more hateful toward Humans along with humanity, I don’t want to have a girlfriend or wife now as I reached a point in my life I decided to go the MGTOW path meaning Men Going Their Own Way.

As women are Human and I can’t understand any Humans and my friendships always fail. People end up hating me, I end up hating them and I realize my hypothetical married life would only end in divorce........so I decided to drop that dream of marrying any woman one day.

I gave into an almost monk way of living only instead of feeling positive....I feel negative and keep wanting to punch people in the face.

I truly deserve the title of a headcase as I am likely crazy and no one would ever understand me?

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I am anxious all the time

I swear for the past while I have been anxious non stop, everytime I am at work I get angry, scared and paranoid just hating being around people at my work like costumers.

I keep wishing they’d leave me the hell alone and just let me do my job of restocking instead of constantly coming near me in the store I work at. I keep getting too many 4 hour shifts with no break which last for an eternity for me.

My shifts at work feel so long for me I feel like I was born at my store, I had my whole childhood there at the store and the store is all I have ever known?

I hate when my bosses assign me more shifts in a week because another idiot at work either quit cause they found another job, they got fired for yelling at a costumer, had a family emergency so they need me yo come in or another employee went on a stupid vacation.

I hate being at work cause the damn shifts I get feel like they go on forever and ever and I have to be around stupid fucking customers who won’t stop looking at me. I wish they would stop and just not ask me questions.

I hate talking and I hate answering people’s questions cause I hate people cause they never shut up nor leave me alone.

I hate it when customers walk in my way or line up at me to ask a question like I am some kind of ATM machine to them and a person?

I hate dealing with people and can’t stand being around people, god I hate people so much.

I just want to be at home in solitude away from people but no I never get that cause people never fuck off nor leave me alone when I have to go to work.

I sometimes wonder is the money even worth it to work at a costumer service but have to deal with having Aspergers?

I remember a few times I would explode at costumers cause they’d never shut up about something nor leave me alone to let me do my job. Why do they always have to ask me, I hate being a fucking magnet for people at the store for their questions.....just find someone else besides me to ask it to.

Why does it always have to be me they ask? I don’t like talking to people, I just want to do restocking undisturbed.

I sometimes just want to randomly attack a random customer cause they won’t leave me alone. I feel like punching that fat man harassing me to go to the back room to look for his stupid Viggio bread or punching that woman who keeps bugging me to find a fucking product her own husband found during the time she was harassing me from my work.

I want to punch or hurt these people cause they don’t leave me alone at work. I am not a people person and I wish people like customers would fuck off and let me do my good damn job of restocking.

I already did 3 shifts already that are 4 hours to 6 hours long......isn’t that enough???!!!!!

BUT NO MY BOSSES KEEP WANTING ME TO COME BACK DAY IN AND DAY OUT???!!!!!!!! I CAN’T SOCIALIZE ALL THE TIME, I GET ANXIOUS AND HATE PEOPLE ONCE MY SOCIAL ENERGY METER RUNS LOW CAUSE I GOT TOO MANY SHIFTS IN A WEEK!!!!!!

Three shifts in one week are enough and I hate going over cause that then I have to feel anxious around customers making me feel uneasy and I want to strangle them for asking their stupid questions.

I get so anxious sometimes I’ll swear profanity outloud at work and even punch products like the oatmeal if it doesn’t stand up without falling when I place it on a shelf.

My mind will even take me back to my past of all the times I got bullied or humiliated in school by other students or eve teachers......my anxiety builds up and I want to random punch something or someone or curl up in a corner in a fetal position.

I can’t stand people and I want to go home and see my dog.

I want to not be at work, I want to be at home in my pyjamas in bed locked in my bedroom away from people.

But being at home doesn’t pay and my mind must be mad of emotion and of lack of sanity cause I can’t think straight......my mind is scattered.

I am so tired so very tired, my legs from walking all over the store all day feeling as id my boss took advantage of me his autistic worker giving me so many fucking shifts time after time.
I am anxious all the time
Just a short emotional rant of sorts of what has been on my mind lately in terms of my anxiety and difficulty dealing with work.
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Gand
One of the most interesting companions I ever had in Star Wars: The Old Republic was Sgt. Yuun who was this weird bug alien called a Gand.

I wanted to draw a character with an odd shape and I decided I would draw a Gand and got this guy.

Hope you enjoy 😉
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Admiral Ackbar
So I decide to draw a picture of Admiral Ackbar the other day and this is as good as I could get him to look with my limited drawing skills.

Hope you all enjoy 😉
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A rant on today’s world

The world of today, the year is 2017 and the people these days  are crazy. I hear from certain feminist groups these days claim that all men are inherently bad and evil. That all men care about is raping women?  

This angers me as I am a man and I think I speak for all men and the male gender when I say that no we men aren’t all inherently bad and we aren’t all rapists with only the exception of few horrible men that we as the male gender don’t consider these few exceptions to be true men but chicken shit cowards who try to get sex in a most dishonourable and disgusting way that gives us males all a bad name.

For modern feminists to say all men are inherently bad is a truly disgusting statement to me as a male, I don’t know do feminists know this or not, but 75% of people on the autistic spectrum are male.

Autistic spectrum people are probably one of the most innocent and harmless groups of Humans in the world and for feminists to say all men are inherently bad is disgusting as what I hear coming from their mouths is that these women and girls are saying most autistic people in the world are bad? 

How can these women and girls make such a disgusting claim about us males like this without getting to know us first then seeing for themselves that all of us men aren’t a threat or danger to them, that like them we are Human too and that there are good and bad people of both genders like any groups in life.

I also can’t stand how society is giving far too many rights to women and not enough to men in this modern era of ours which is almost a reverse flip of how men had all the rights in the 1940s to early 1960s and women had little to none......why can’t we have a society where men and women have the same amount of rights where neither gender had more and neither gender had less?

I believe that we as a society should pay women the exact same wages in jobs as we pay men in the same jobs but I also believe we should treat men with as much support and understanding if they come out and say they are victims of domestic abuse which happens as much as women of domestic abuse but most men in today’s world are too scared to admit it for fear of being called weak.

I believe that women shouldn’t have the right to accuse every man they encounter and don’t like as a sex offender unless they have substantial accurate evidence and the right amount of legal means to legally persecute the man in just and fair trail that is holds both parties as equals.

I also believe that men shouldn’t have the right to treat women as slaves or be able to buy or sell women like they’re are just simple objects with no feelings or a mind of their own.

I believe neither man nor woman should have any power over one another and the two genders and whatever else genders all live as equals where everyone gets an equal say not more not less.

I also believe that we should treat LGBT people fairly and not do anything mean to them for who they are like barring them from joining the military service or denying them the ability to finalize their love in marriage.

I also believe that the LGBT along with other minority groups of today shouldn’t define who they are based on their sexuality, gender, race or skin colour as that is only one aspect of their general person. Like how if a person likes vanilla ice cream and most everyone else likes chocolate we should not define that person who likes vanilla ice cream as the person who likes vanilla ice cream as that is only one aspect of their person like their other aspects like they play hockey, like drinking beer, like to knit, race cars and etc.

Ian McKellen is gay but do we define him based on his sexuality as being a openly gay man or do we define him as being a legendary Shakespearean actor that gives so much life to so beloved many characters in so many movies we saw him in over the years like Magneto of the X-Men movies, or Gandalf of The Lord of the Rings? 

I believe that we as society define Ian Mckellen as a legendary Shakespearean actor who gives life to the many beloved characters he had played over the years that we as an audience enjoyed.

It doesn’t matter if you are heterosexual, homosexual, male, female, in between genders, Black, white, Asian or whatever else......these things are only one aspect of your whole person but it doesn’t define who you are, you are many layers of a whole person don’t let one layer define what your entire life is but also learn to look outside you and your community every once in awhile to see that you aren’t the only person with problems out there but count your blessings on what you do have that others envy about you.

Like Thomas might have trouble coming out of the closet about being gay to his parents but at least he lives in 2017 when most people with the exception of a few groups out there in the world are generally tolerant toward the LGBT. 

Meanwhile also in Thomas’ family, the young man has a younger brother name Devon with a mild form of autism called Aspergers Syndrome which makes communicating with others including Thomas or his parents nearly impossible.

Friendship is practically impossible to acquire for Devon than it is for his older brother Thomas who unlike Devon has many many friends and the community practically loves him even after Thomas came out of the closet about being gay while Devon even though the community knew he had Aspergers still doesn’t understand Devon.

Community would shun Devon and expect him to be more like Thomas who like both his parents were neural typicals or non autistics. 

How could 2017 be a politically correct time which meant things were supposed to be more equal and fair for all groups of people yet when it came to an autistic minority like Devon people in 2017 want to not let Devon be mildly autistic and expect the struggling young man to non autistic all together?

Why in 2017 do we as a collective society know that straight camps are bad, that it is morally wrong and even unhealthy to even try to convert gay people to heterosexual yet we continue try to turn mildly autistic people like Devon to be neural typical or non autistic when the attempts would end very much the same way as trying to turn Thomas from gay to heterosexual?  

We are able or near able to accept homosexuality in 2017 yet we continue to ignore and try to fix mild autism instead of seeing the benefits and uniqueness of the people born with it.

We yell at people for saying and doing homophobic things toward the LGBT community yet we still yell at people with Aspergers for having Aspergers and struggling with a lack of social understanding which many Aspies aren’t born with?
That aren’t natural to us?

What people with Aspergers do isn’t illegal or immoral not being able to socialize properly or even gracefully like non autistic people but just what is second nature to us but society can’t seem to see the repeat of history here of how they want us to not be ourselves like how they decades ago they wanted the gays not to be gay at straight camps or Native Americans not be Native Americans at residential schools throughout Canada?

SJWs and Politically Correct people think they are giving a voice to minorities by monitoring what they deem as okay and what isn’t okay speech to use that doesn’t offend anyone one yet they by doing this have severely limited the speech and words for people on the autistic spectrum to the point of practically taking away our voice as we are now confused and even scared of taking as we might get killed for unintentionally saying the wrong thing which we have always had trouble with even before it became a trend for people to get offend in the time that is 2017.

2017 is the worst time to be born with or have Aspergers Syndrome as my people and I are now more than ever under the iron fist of fascism taking away our ability talk as we might offend someone? 

I have news for these SJW and P.C. Assholes........offending people is apart of having Aspergers and autistic spectrum disorder in generally as we are born unable to understand the world in what is and isn’t offensive speech as we know words but not which ones are good or which ones are bad?

Having Aspergers and living in a tightly SJW controlled world is like living in a Nazis interment camp where your every action and words are being watched that when you screw up.......you are done.

SJWs claim they protect minorities? Yet these people don’t protect me or others like me who have autistic spectrum disorder.

Heck there was even an incident in Australia where an autistic man came onto to a public bus and asked a random group of women to high five him. The women declined and one woman who was a feminist got so angry at this poor autistic man that she took out her phone and recorded the autistic man and on her social media post claimed the autistic man was a sex offender when in reality he wasn’t at all.

Here is a link to the article:


I read this article and was totally disgusted how these SJWs who claim they are the saviours of Humanity  did this truly despicable act against such an innocent sweet man who meant no harm or ill will to anyone or anything and merely wanted to high five.

Now his whole life is ruined thanks to the selfish and evil acts of an SJW who wouldn’t think for 2 seconds that some people they label as villains might in fact be innocent victims themselves.

This didn’t end there as there was this other story of how this Google engineer a little while back was fired from his job at Google after he wrote this essay of how to improve the engineering work place to help women function better there.

The man was fired as some SJW or P.C. people in H.R. saw his essay and said the man was anti diversity when in reality what he did wasn’t anti diversity and had good intentions to help female workers in the workplace but these SJWs overreacted and fired this good man who is also autistic spectrum too.

Here is the article:


SJWs make me sick these bastards after these two incidents against my people, I see are nothing more than a bunch of bullies against autistic spectrum kind and not the heroes of political correctness they claimed to be.






deviantID

Lightsthroughshadow
Jay
Artist | Student | Photography
Canada
I am a 23 year old student in training to become a photographer and photoshop artist hoping to improve my skills and better in the world of art.

Look me up on Youtube-search Lightsthroughshadow on Youtube and find my channel there
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:iconjg1723:
JG1723 Featured By Owner Edited 3 days ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hello Jay! Thank you for visiting my gallery and leaving a fave on some of the pieces. I really appreciate your support so I would like you to take this llama as a token of my gratitude :)

All the best, 
J.G.
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:iconlightsthroughshadow:
Lightsthroughshadow Featured By Owner 3 days ago  Student Photographer
Thanks 😀
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DarqueThoughts Featured By Owner 4 days ago
Thanks for the :+fav:! :-)
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:iconlightsthroughshadow:
Lightsthroughshadow Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Student Photographer
Yw
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:iconmontag451:
montag451 Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks very much for faving!Nod Clap +fav +fav +fav
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Lightsthroughshadow Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Student Photographer
YW 
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ChasGallagher Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the fave on April O'neil by ChasGallagher  
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:iconlightsthroughshadow:
Lightsthroughshadow Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Student Photographer
You’re welcome 😀
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american069 Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2018
Thanks for the favorites
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:iconlightsthroughshadow:
Lightsthroughshadow Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2018  Student Photographer
You’re welcome 😉 
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