I can't remember the last time I really did anything around here, kinda nostalgic to be back.
So what exactly have I been up to for the past year?
Put simply, a LOT.
I honestly don't know where to start so I guess I'll just pick a topic and go from there LOL
I've been watching lots of new anime, reading more manga, and playing new video games, so I have new characters I love and adore! I probably have too many ideas pilled up but when wasn't that ever not a problem? XDDD Also Ships. I have a TON of new ships. Beware because if you thought I was ship crazy before, wait until you see my harbor now <XDDD;;; HOW ABOUT THAT VICTURI HUH? 8D
My art has gotten a little better I think, not by much which is a bit disheartening, but the reason for that is something I will go into in a bit.
As for my personal life...Let's just say it's had a bunch of up and downs.
2017 wasn't the kindest of years, probably just as bad as 2016 for my family and I. Sure we had good moments, but it just seemed like 2016's awful luck just continued to follow us.
And I will not lie, my depression and anxiety was worse then ever. All I could think about was how much of a liability I was to my family and friends, even though I know it's the exact opposite. I basically felt like a freeloader and my art and writing suffered for it.
I barely drew or wrote and I began to shout at myself that I was a lazy idiot that I couldn't produce anything productive for the past 5 years. I had more "moments" if you get my drift, one that almost involved my mom calling 911 on me. That's how bad I became.
And looking for a job? It went as well as everything else that year. When you aren't hired specifically because you mention you are Autistic, it kinda lowers your faith in humanity and yourself. It got to the point where I just didn't care anymore; where I was happy if I got hurt.
It was around that time I knew I needed to get help and not hold ANYTHING back anymore.
I talked with my therapist and let everything out, and I mean EVERYTHING. I couldn't and wouldn't stand for myself feeling the way I did any longer if I wanted to live my life the way I wanted. I had a wonderful talk, got some rather good advice, received changes in my medicine, and I began to truly feel like myself again.
But I knew I still wasn't fully "there". I still wasn't drawing as much as I wanted, even though the desire to was there. It was like every time I sat at my computer, something would click in my brain, and my hand wouldn't draw, instead I would find myself surfing the web instead.
There was still a problem, and that problem was that I wasn't getting out at all. Oh sure I had some friend and family outings, but other then that I had no life other then "Wake up, do computer stuff, maybe do chores, sleep". So yeah, I was pretty much a shut in. <BT;;;;
Then my mom asked me something that took me aback:
"Why don't you and your brother do the Christmas play? You need to get back into doing plays anyway!"
It hit me then and there: My answer was right under my nose.
It had been YEARS since me and my brother participated in a play, around 3 or 4 if I recall correctly, so we both agreed with my mom that we needed to not only participate in the Christmas plays, but get back into participating in play's in general.
And dear God are we so glad and thankful we did. We don't know why we stopped, but we are very happy to be back in the acting business! X...3 The play was amazing and we had such an amazing time; it was A Miracle on 34th Street in case you were wondering. ~^0^~
Also around the time auditions were happening I went to Colossalcon East, and I had a BLAST. I participated in a panel with a friend and participated in the masquerade for the first time ever, so I got a bit of a confidence boost X///3
And to finish the year I saw The Greatest Showman, so I'd say 2017 was 90% bad and 10% good; the 10% starting around September. <|D;;;
So how am I recently? Well, pretty good!
My family is closer then ever, I've made new friends, and I am WAY more productive.
I've planned out more stories, started my YouTube channel (It's lightgirlification by the way X3), blog a lot on tumblr ((Same name as YouTube, in fact it's all I did in 2017 <XD; )), went to Katsucon and WOW it was fun!
I plan to return to Colossalcon East this year and do a TON of stuff, I'm planning a lot for myself, and well...
I got a job.
Yeah, I legitimately will start working.
It will be helping people like me, and honestly I couldn't have asked for a more amazing opportunity <3
And with all that said, I decided to finally come back here and continue where I left off. I won't be as productive as I once was, I don't know when that day will come, but I miss being here.
I was so focused on trying to achieve something, that I needed to remember my roots; where I started out. And that's here.
Most importantly though, I missed all of you guys. (Thank you to those who sent the "Birthday Wishes" by the way! X3)
I know it's been a while, but if you all are still here, I hope you're still willing to stay my friend and I hope we can have fun like always :..)
And with that, I've said all I can think of at the moment <|D;;;;
Thank you all for reading! Here's to being nerdy and crazy!
LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!