Colour me naive.
Colour me an idealist pinko liberal.
Colour me a romantic arty-farty fantasist.
Colour me a hippy pacifist fence-sitter.
Most of my friends are heading for, or past, the big five O.
There's increasingly less time for bullshit.
To my eyes, my mind, my experience
- as an intermittently successful artist and writer, boutique publisher, digital pioneer for storytellers, dreamer (in the most iconoclast way), pessimistic optimist, father of three, husband, failure and champion -
it's all bullshit.
Nothing matters, beyond those we love and who love us
- at least not in any personally meaningful way.
The nature of civilization is to be in perpetual crisis
- and I fear we're in the thick of a bigger existential crisis than we, as a species, are prepared to acknowledge.
We feed on fear and triviality, and are in thrall of our baser instincts
- to duck, to hide, to run.
It's left to those without empathy to guide us.
Those without fear.
Those that will stand on the backs of all humanity to survey their temporary kingdoms, as if it had any worth.
No matter your belief, or lack of;
no matter your own particular chosen apocalypse,
the point is
- we all have one.
There's something very telling in that!
Even if your particular 'end' is some vapid white subjugated eternity of imagined peace,
or a bevy of (presumably willing) virgins
- though the misogynistic fantasy of that seems like a hell of some kind for at least some of the participants -
Whatever your view, the point is:
it all ends.
We avoid that thought.
It ends, and the world
- this planet -
We either do it ourselves,
or if you really insist,
God ends this planet one day soon,
or not so soon.
It really doesn't matter which.
The point is there's no escaping it,
any more than the fact of our own deaths.
We are all people.
Children of this universe, products of this tiny, fragile earth.
What kind of monsters are we?
I will howl this to my dying days!
We are ALL responsible for human life.
We are all part of the quandary.
We can decide,
as a species,
that the lessons of history are valid.
But we won't.
Over 2000 years ago we knew that history repeated itself,
and we wrote it down so we might learn from that.
But we did not, nor will ever, listen.
I'm perpetually angry at our near-sightedness.
Our consumerist, selfish, Money-grubbing bullshit nothing lives.
Love becomes a luxury.
Charity is for sale.
We cannot see far enough.
Our pseudo-empathy extends to a witheringly fragile community of like-minded sailors adrift in a sea of information and misdirection.
There are no stark realities, it's all true and all lies.
If we just let it happen
- because, y' know, there's fuck-all we can really do -
then we deserve our inevitable hellish oblivion, whatever form it takes.
The crush of time will obliterate us regardless.
We don't have to work at it.
Hate or No hate, it will all end.
So WHY the FUCK are we still brutalizing each other?
Why are we so full of enmity?
We are one race on a beautiful spectrum.
We are one species.
We are living on one thinly-crusted ball of magma hurtling through space.
We have only one home.
We have this one shot at life, as a people.
When we are all gone there will be nobody to remember us.
So yes - colour me whatever you like, but I will never understand our inability to see beyond the want/need, petty, selfish and ultimately destructive nature of these cultures we enable to thrive, and to 'lead' us.
I fear for my children.
I fear for humanity.
We should be better than this.
We should be wiser.
Other than that - life is pretty good.