I really wish I could get back into leisurely reading. I kinda miss reading things I enjoyed, but god every time when I'm forced to read the driest, most uninteresting schlock for a class it just pushes me away all together. I end up just watching YT all day, drawing, or playing video games. I wouldn't consider them brain-numbing or anything, but like I'm not training my brain. I'm not that good at speaking or using sophisticated vocabulary. I still get A's/A+'s on papers, but I just don't feel like that kind of writing sticks with me. It comes to other people who read naturally, so idk.
I have to try extra hard to write that stuff. My friends always say I work too hard, but the reason I do that is so I don't come off as stupid to others. I strive to be the best I can at stuff, and it's...a lot of work and it tires me out. I'm trying to read through this book called "The Power of Kindness, The Unexpected Benefits of Leading a Compassionate Life" and it's painful. The author is just telling you that you're living life wrong and to do it his way which he believes is the best. There's so many blanket statements and studies with not a lot of actual scientific proof. Maybe if you're like....middle aged or very spiritual or something you might like it.
Either way, I can tell a lot of people in the online discussion boards don't care about it. This is a health and fitness class and we're reading a book about how our lives are wrong rather than, y'know, reading about the body and stuff like that. I wish I could just half-ass stuff and turn it in but I feel incredibly guilty by doing that, so I work myself to the limits on stuff that I don't care about so I don't feel awful.
I know grades are just numbers, but ugh I just can't let myself get anything lower than a B-. It's never happened, I even got the dean's list both semesters last year, but honestly this class might finally break me. The book is just so uninteresting and I loathe doing the discussions on blackboard.