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About Literature / Professional Dorianas27/Male/Lithuania Group :iconannericevampires: AnneRiceVampires
Anne Rice
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Melody of Shamisen by lestat1991 Melody of Shamisen :iconlestat1991:lestat1991 6 5 Meet the artist by lestat1991 Meet the artist :iconlestat1991:lestat1991 1 0 Go home Da Vinci. You are drunk. by lestat1991 Go home Da Vinci. You are drunk. :iconlestat1991:lestat1991 2 0 My Influence Map (more like My Religion) by lestat1991 My Influence Map (more like My Religion) :iconlestat1991:lestat1991 2 0
Mature content
The story of Cesare Borgia (fanfiction) :iconlestat1991:lestat1991 2 0
Partners in crime by lestat1991 Partners in crime :iconlestat1991:lestat1991 2 0 Cesare Borgia confessing his love by lestat1991 Cesare Borgia confessing his love :iconlestat1991:lestat1991 3 0 Cesare Borgia. 21 century version. Nothing serious by lestat1991 Cesare Borgia. 21 century version. Nothing serious :iconlestat1991:lestat1991 1 0 Cesare wants a new iPhone by lestat1991 Cesare wants a new iPhone :iconlestat1991:lestat1991 2 0 Lizard by lestat1991 Lizard :iconlestat1991:lestat1991 4 0 Seepferdchen by lestat1991 Seepferdchen :iconlestat1991:lestat1991 8 0 Adolf Hitler by lestat1991 Adolf Hitler :iconlestat1991:lestat1991 4 2 Mayfair Family Tree by lestat1991 Mayfair Family Tree :iconlestat1991:lestat1991 4 2 Nefera de Nile by lestat1991 Nefera de Nile :iconlestat1991:lestat1991 11 0 Hanover Lady by lestat1991 Hanover Lady :iconlestat1991:lestat1991 14 2 Roses in black by lestat1991 Roses in black :iconlestat1991:lestat1991 13 1


Safe by silvestris Safe :iconsilvestris:silvestris 82 30 Metrosexual by vaidute-moralez Metrosexual :iconvaidute-moralez:vaidute-moralez 2 0 Lamborghini Fan by Wearwolfaa Lamborghini Fan :iconwearwolfaa:Wearwolfaa 100 10 Lamborghini Gallardo Stamp by sugarpoultry Lamborghini Gallardo Stamp :iconsugarpoultry:sugarpoultry 77 14 LGBT+ Christian by selfmadecannibal LGBT+ Christian :iconselfmadecannibal:selfmadecannibal 205 0 Stamp- Androgynous Transman by Lukacabra Stamp- Androgynous Transman :iconlukacabra:Lukacabra 21 7 Viking is a Truscum by DarkVikingMistress Viking is a Truscum :icondarkvikingmistress:DarkVikingMistress 12 5 Transmedicalist stamp by DaRk-Stamps Transmedicalist stamp :icondark-stamps:DaRk-Stamps 59 16 Belonephilia Stamp by fellSans
Mature content
Belonephilia Stamp :iconfellsans:fellSans 4 0
Black Hair Fetishist Stamp by Kyoakuno Black Hair Fetishist Stamp :iconkyoakuno:Kyoakuno 86 7 53X RU735 1N MY W0R7D by BOSSKIE 53X RU735 1N MY W0R7D :iconbosskie:BOSSKIE 8 0 Cardinal Borgia by KAIplue Cardinal Borgia :iconkaiplue:KAIplue 195 21 :: AC - AltAre :: by Nuxcia
Mature content
:: AC - AltAre :: :iconnuxcia:Nuxcia 151 77
Cesare Borgia by sunsetagain Cesare Borgia :iconsunsetagain:sunsetagain 178 7 Cesare's Yogurt Night by doubleleaf Cesare's Yogurt Night :icondoubleleaf:doubleleaf 4,852 699



Journal History



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lestat1991's Profile Picture
Artist | Professional | Literature
Cancer Goat

Lithuanian Samogitian English Russian Spanish French Latin German Italian Turkish Hebrew Greek

Cesare Cesare Cesare Writer Narcissist Dominant Masochist Hypersexual Porn lover Submissive Men Black Hair Belonephilia Black Hair Liberal LGBT Christian Transmedicalist Trans18 Androsexual Androgynious Transman Androsexual Migraine ENFP cat person assassin's creed barbie monster high ever after high YAOI Lamborghini Metrosexual

Click to view my Personality Profile page

1. Please, refer to me in masculine gender.
2. I speak Lithuanian (native), Russian and English very well. I can quite good understand Spanish. I started learning French, German, Italian, Hebrew, Greek and Turkish.
3. I am madly in love with vampires, demons, angels, witches and all supernatural creatures.
4. I'm biggest Anne Rice lover.
5. My favorite characters (historical personas) are Lestat de Lioncourt, Cesare Borgia, Adolf Hitler, Stalin, Lenin, Francis Bonnefoy, Rodrigo Borgia, Juan Borgia, Niccolo Machiavelli, Haytham Kenway.
6. I have psychological problem: CANNOT STOP BUYING BOOKS AND DOLLS. :D
7. I'm very narcissistic and egoistic. I mostly fit for malignant narcissist personality, because I live only for one purpose only- REVENGE. I never forget and never forgive. Believe me, I'm the most evil person on all planet. Call me Antichrist if you wish. xD I am worse than him.
8. I need highest quality of EVERYTHING: papers, pencils, pens, clothes, books, perfume, technology. EVERYTHING BEST QUALITY AND MOST HIGHEST PRICES.
9. I have Bachelor degree in Public Health. But I HATE IT. My destiny is to be a writer. I was born with a pen and paper sheet. Writing is my whole life, my true essence. I write fantasy hardcore gay porn. I'm so hypersexual that I mostly talk about sex only. xD Even if I do not talk about it, keep in mind after few minutes I will start, I won't hold myself. xD
10. I was born and raised in Lithuania. And I HATE this country. >_> I'm NOTHING like Lithuanian people. BUT I hate only transphobic and homophobic Lithuanian people and Lithuanian law system which is going against LGBT people and that makes me horribly mad. Lithuanian law doesn't let me be who I am... But I love my country's culture, history, food and our all cultural things. My temper and thinking is like Italian. Let's say Italian nationality is my spiritual nationality. What's written in my passport is true nonsence.
11. My favorite perfumes are Eau de Gaga, Givenchy Gentlemen Only Intense, Yves Saint Laurent L'Homme Intense, Yves Saint Laurent La Nuit de L'Homme. Jimmy Choo Man- this one is my favorite of all, cannot live without that smell.
12. My favorite magazine is National Geographic.
13. I have two cats: Marta and Stella.
14. I love horror and adventure movies.
15. I have very strong phobias. I am panically scared of fire, kids, height, talking in front of many people, getting old.
16. I dream to live in Paris or Rome.
17. My favorite food is pizza and pasta. I eat ONLY Italian and Chinese food.
18. My favorite breed of dog is Bernen Zenenhund.
19. My favorite breeds of cats are: Siamese, Ragdoll, Burmese, Turkish Van, Turkish Angora, and all kinds of oriental cats.
20. My favorite cars are Porche, Citroen, Yaguar, Limousines, Ferrari, Lamborghini.
21. I am crazy about Hetalia France.
22. I'm Monster High and Ever After High dolls collector. (don't ask how many I have of these dolls... x__x I spent so much for them already and still need more xD )
23. I'm huge fan of iPhones. My iPhone is my whole life, I don't let it from my hands even when I sleep.
24. I am huge fan of sport cars and collect car models. :3

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My birthday badge
Why I am not drawing anymore? The answer is very long.... This year my life turned into real Hell. I blame my grandmother for this. 4 years ago she MADE me to study Public Health. I was so submissive and obeyed that evil woman. I suffered for 4 years... I got depressed, miserable, unhappy, life didn't content me anymore, nothing did. I lost all interest in things I like: writing, drawing, reading, playing video games- everything. I had a writer's block for more than 4 years actually.... She was destroying everything in me. I couldn't lift a pencil to make a line, not to mention actual drawing. 

And so... Here I am. After a month I have final public speech for my graduation work... I have highest level's glossophobia. So doing speeches makes me wanna die... x__x Really, I would better die than talk in front of people. Now after 2 days I have second speech. (First was done more than good xD) I'm now again in fear and panic mood. It's not actually the speech I am afraid of, I might do it well. I am afraid of my classmates.... They hate me. They truly hate me. They hate who I am, how I dress, what I say. Well, shall I be surprised about such hate? Everybody hates me since I was born. So, I should be used to be "the one who nobody likes". And yet I cannot think of them without trembling. I really don't wanna see them... u__u My graduation will be few days before or after my birthday (around June 28th). I do not want that. I really do not want to sit in that hall with all these haters and mostly- GET ON STAGE TO TAKE MY DIPLOMA. x__x The horror of all horrors.... My grandma promised me iPhone 6S Plus with 64GB space Rose Gold Edition for this torture. But all of this looks like "One Missed Call" movie: I'll torture you and give you a candy if you won't scream. u__u Why I obeyed her? I usually scream, curse and walk out of the house slamming the door if I do not want to do something. But that day when I signed contract- I was like enchanted, I obeyed everything like a slave. And I really didn't know this will end like that.... My own fault I guess. I guess I deserve it. Maybe I pay for my sins and crimes like that? I wish I knew... 

Now, many would ask why I didn't choose to study something I like? To say truth: I like nothing. Yes, I'm a writer.... BUT... My books were rejected TWO times, by TWO publishing houses. So I said to myself: "Fuck these idiots. My dream cannot come truth. So, I quit". And I quited MANY dreams like that. If to say truth: I'm good for nothing. REALLY. I am not talking bad about myself. I tell the truth. I cannot do anything right. My grandma encourages this misery saying: "You will lose a job very quickly. You are horrible. You are disgusting. Nobody will keep you in any working place with such temper". And she's right.... My temper is horrible. If I am in bad mood- I will not speak with anybody and just sit frowning and cursing all world under my nose. I'm moody, hot-headed, arrogant, swearing like a sailor all the time, REALLY aggressive. Am I guilty for this? Until I turned 7 years old- I was a happy, cheerful, friendly person. But the day I was imprisoned in the place called school- I changed... THEY changed me... I had to turn evil and aggressive if I wanted to stay alive and survive. I had no other choice. This was the only way to survive such torturing. And now.... Now I live only for revenge. I won't stop until all of them will suffer as I did. (not physically) Well, Balys Sruoga book "Dievų miškas" perfectly describes how ordinary people in concentration camps turn into beasts. This goes for me perfectly. I am not guilty I am so evil and sadistic. I live like that for 18 years. "I cannot change as others do"- as John Wilmot said in his poem. 

And so here I am. I give no fuck about that Bachelor work anymore. Let my grandma do it. She needs it, she wants it, let she do it. Yeah, I got rid of these "spells" she used on me. I am very aggressive toward her. And yet she asks: "Why?" Why? Why? She should see that she is guilty for everything. She put me in the place I do not belong in. Of course I hate her, I yell at her, I do not talk with her. And instead of harming her, I turned on innocent animals in our house. And yet she shouldn't be surprised why I do that: all her fault. 

I guess I'll end up like Cesare Borgia.... My grandma IS RODRIGO BORGIA'S REINCARNATION. x__x Believe me. Rodrigo is back. I live with him. Same as Rodrigo made Cesare to become a priest. I am made to become a medic. (our family's profession. >_>) And I can see my future already.... Cesare was destroyed after his father's death. I will be destroyed after my grandma's death too.... I might live good life for 10-15 more years... But then- death to me too. I am dependent on her money and she uses this against me. And she knows after her death I will have no more money, nobody will obey me, nobody will help me anymore. Yeah, I have just my grandparents. After their death I will be all alone in this world. I want it, but I fear it too. HA! Cesare's and Rodrigo's dialogue in Assassin's Creed PERFECTLY shows how me and my grandma talk very single day:
Cesare (me): My funds. My troops. Gone. You intend to give me money?
Rodrigo (my grandma): No, I do not. 
Rodrigo (my grandma): I give you everything and yet it's never enough... 
And it's like that every single day... >_> And so... I go to write my books that nobody will ever read and SHALL NOT. Even if my dream to become published is crashed, the pain doesn't go away... My biggest dream, my essence of life, my goal of life- GONE. Gone as Cesare's funds. 

My love life? Went down the toilet the day I was born. >_> First girl I fell in love (I guess I still love her...)- rejected my love. I will never forgive her for this. I hope she gonna die in horrible death with her idiot fiancee and son. >< I offered her EVERYTHING: love, myself, my money, happiness... everything... and yet. WHAT DO WOMEN WANT? >_> They always want the Hell knows what. I was romantic, gentle, showed attention, guarded her from her enemies. I got into fights with other men just to protect her. I got enemies because I protected her... and yet.... damned bitch. u__u I hate and love her. This emotion tears me into parts.
My second girl.... I do not feel such hate for her. Just pure love. She rejected me same as the first one. WHY? I gave her everything too. Even now when I meet her- I give her expensive gifts, pay for her in restaurants, give all my attention, listen to her. And yet.... something's wrong.... But why she loves virtual sex with me? Why she loves listening to my sexual fantasies about her? Why? If she doesn't like me, so why?
My third girl... We were in relationship. We were so close... Like soulmates, but what I did was what took this to the end. I made horrible scene of jealousy.... So my own fault. Now we stay friends, but she changed so much.... 
I do not count all my virtual lovers, I guess they are not real and doesn't count.
And so. I got to conclusion with my new Greek friend. I am a digusting pervert. That's an explanation. Well... I guess it's truth. I'm too vulgar even if I do not show that, people tend to feel my true intentions... 

And so? How can such idiot as me be creative anymore? I cannot. 
The conclusion of all of this is: I do not have my own life. I live how my family tells me to live. Nobody loves me and nobody can. I'm digusting and worth to be killed. I am evil so deserve to be hated. I have no future. 
And yet I must live since I am way too sissy to end my life. God, I am such a coward!! Coward to face death and stop others' and my own suffering. I cannot live, but cannot die either. So where do I belong? Heaven is not for me. Hell doesn't want a second Lucifer. Earth- nobody wants such freak as me either. Can't Evil love? Can't Evil be loved? Can't I be loved for who I am? I am not guilty I was born like this or who I became. 

And now I cry like an idiot. I haven't been crying for 3 or more months. This is so unmanly. I must quit. Pull myself together and stand manly in this Hell surrounded by demons and hatred. I am sorry if I was born, it was not my decision. God decided to torture me. 
  • Listening to: Russian songs
  • Reading: Rafael Sabatini "The Life of Cesare Borgia"
  • Watching: No mood for movies
  • Playing: Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood
  • Eating: Pizza
  • Drinking: Berry juice


It is really drawing not photo? :O WOW. I'm really without words, these colors caught my eyes and I cannot take them off. I really love ...

I am always fascinated by these great computer works. I just love how people make such beauty with simply computer. I really cannot say...


lestat1991 has started a donation pool!
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It would be great get some points. *_* I would love to. I really need Premium Membership. For more space and special widgets. Also I need some critics and cannot get them without premium membership. So I'm saving points for that. I have now just 159....

I bow to everybody low who donate me. I feel very thankful and shy.

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pamlaisly232 Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
happy b-dayHave your cake and eat it too 
birthdays Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2018
:woohoo: :party: :iconcakelickplz: !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :iconcakelickplz: :party: :woohoo:

It's June 28th which means it's that time of the year again and your special day is here! We hope you have an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year!

Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team :love:

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TamWinter Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2018
happy birthday!
RoseSpectrum Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2018  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy birthday!
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fellSans Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the favourite! 
birthdays Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2017
:woohoo: :party: :iconcakelickplz: !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :iconcakelickplz: :party: :woohoo:

On behalf of the birthdays team, I sincerely apologize that your greeting has arrived late this year.

We hope you had an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year!

Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team :love:

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Anisa-Mazaki Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2017  Professional Digital Artist
Airborne Trophy Dance! Juggle Boogie!  Party :squee:Free Avatar - CupTardCake Sun HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Sun Free Avatar - CupTardCake  :squee: Party Boogie!   Juggle Dance! Trophy Airborne 

Have some free Art too, for your Special Day :) (Smile)
  Candy-free Wallpaper 2 - Full by Anisa-Mazaki
pamlaisly232 Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
happy b-dayHave your cake and eat it too 
Jasperinity Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2017
Happy birthday! :D
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