Lephiro

How the hell can you people be even REMOTELY excited about the new Thundercats series, and, more importantly, the new movie?!!! ARE YOU ALL SUDDENLY STUPID?!!

They're just going to fuck it up, like they do EVERY remake. I don't care who they get on the productions, the only things popular nowadays are rap, fucking, stupid rock-wannabe music, and more fucking.

So here's my predictions of what we can expect to see:

-A.) From the show; horrible opening song, most likely featuring lyrics such as "I need you, I want you, lemme in your pants, and oh yeah let's get drunk" since we don't know how to write ANYTHING ELSE now. And most likely in crap rock style (not GOOD rock style, there is such a thing, but CRAP rock style).

-B.) From the movie; doofy changeups in character likenesses attempting to "update" the style. The suits will most definitely be changed, like xmen, so that the poor wittle actors don't have to run around in authentic gear, perish the thought, that would make them look "gay", as I imagine they'll put it. Even though 300 successfully had men running around in little more than loin cloths and looking awesome while doing so, we can expect the male characters in Thundercats to be covered neck to toe in black "cool" gear, and the only ones in bits of cloth barely covering their unmentionables will be the female characters (of course Cheetarah) so that the poor lonely men of the world can have more spank-bank fodder to warm the lonely nights (as if they don't get enough running around the streets and even down the wedding aisles; seriously, when was the last time you saw a publication glorifying a wedding dress with sleeves of any type? even a sash runner across the top? we'll be waltzing down the aisle in thongs in no-time).

      >In addition to the costumes there will be, of course, no sticking to the original hairstyles and skin tones. Let's just hope they don't go crazy enough to fuck it all up as royal as DBZ; that made me cry.

      >Sex-drive galore. For example, I'm sure Cheetarah's uniform will get magically torn in battle in places to rival hentai costumes. And she'll undoubtedly be matched up with one of the men, usually Tigra, like she was in the remake comic because we simply CAN'T have a team where the "chick" doesn't get with someone! I mean, that'd be outrageous since the whole sex thing is hanging OUT THERE, even though that was one of the great things about the original series. We didn't HAVE to put her with anyone, dammit! We just had a functioning team that cared about one another without desiring to bump uglies. And I'm sure they'll put some rivalry between the fellas for her affections in there somewheres. I can only HOPE, thinly at that, that they don't feel the need to age WilyKit so she can get in on all the "hot-lovin'" crap that spreads like wildfire (like they did in the remake comics, sigh).

     >People incredibly unsuited for the parts and chosen for name alone. Really, Hollywood, we LIKE IT when you make even these big name people read for the parts to see if they're suited! Do it! I swear if my nightmare of Dakota Fanning bringing her less-than-stellar performances in to muck up WilyKit's part (as she and her sister devastated the re-dub of Totoro, for the love of god it was PERFECT THE WAY IT WAS, YOU ASSHOLES! I haven't yet SEEN a better dub come out of America-land, home of the non-voice-acting ppls, with the exception of the surprising Spirited Away.), I'm just gonna give up on theater-going altogether.

So I'm telling ya, I have NO faith for this atrocity whatsoever, will be surprised if it turns out even half-way decent enough not to call for much eye-bleach, and am incredibly sad to hear it's happening within my lifetime. I knew they'd bet bored enough to try fucking up my favorite series of all time (tied for first with just one other), but I was hoping I'd be dead first. So now that this horrid floodgate is open, I'm sure they'll go through a list of 80s greats and remake every one of them, trying to tap a gold mine that requires thought, talent, and care to get to, not just happen upon. So yeah, yuk it up and cheer for this movie-fail if you want, but I'm not hoping for much at all. The only thing I can do is wait for the horrific Jem live-action atrocity announcement, and then I'm either joining a convent or just plain getting drunk and swallowing a bunch of pills.