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Just one of those days....

Journal Entry: Sun Sep 14, 2014, 9:46 PM
UPDATE 9/18/2014

I've read all the comments on my journal, I have to come out and say that I truly appreciate all your support with all my hear, I would wand to reply to all and just let you know that I feel the love.

All the thing everyone said is true, I think jealousy and ignorance are to blame for this french community to have that idea of myself.

I've never really say things "oh! I'm the best" at anything, because believe it or not, there are better artists out there that are not seen by the public because they keep their works in tight gk community forums, so they go unnoticed.

To tell you guys the truth, I started just like any other person in this hobby, having zero knowledge, it was hard for me to learn because I had to look up and see what I could find or have someone explain to me how to do things, that was the main reason I decided to share all this knowledge, but like someone said, it's like a magician giving out the secrets, the rest of the magician's community will be assholes about it, but since when has gk building been this big secret? I really don't know, but after this and analyzing the whole situation I simple decided to keep doing it, it doesn't matter if my community boots me out, I'll just make a new one.


I'm been feeling a bit depressed today, I didn't want to post this on facebook or my website because I still use DA journals to vent a lot of my personal feelings, we're all artists here, so there's no one else that can understand my feelings the most than my fellow comrades at DA

Ever since I started to go public and share my videos with the world on how to paint and build gk's, I've gained certain "popularity" because from what I've observed, only just a handful of gk builders like to share their experience with people outside the community and just keep it to themselves or gk buddies.

I've done my best to convey my knowledge into all these videos, trying to do what I wish I would have been able to get when I started building, which was all the information in a single place without having to scramble all over the web to gain just a little grain of knowledge here and there.

Last week, a gk builder from France decided to tear me a new one, all because I told a person who commented on his gallery entry that the figure in the pictures was a prepainted figure that he may have repainted or repaired, as there was no description on the gallery itself and it let to believe that it was a GK.

This person believed that I insulted him, for whatever unknown reason, he lashed at me, and pretty much told me that he and the rest of the GK builders from the French community though that I was a bad person because I had declared myself a know-it-all and GK queen because of my videos and tutorials.
I was a bit shocked, this person said that I looked down on other gk builders because if it wasn't my work then it wasn't good...
Now I do forget somethings, but I would have remembered clearly if I ever talked down on another artist because it was not "my perfect work", but I've never had done it, that's the part the shocked me the most.

It was clear that this person loathed me and then another of his friends came in to add another insult and patting the other guy on the back for "putting me in my place".

I really don't know what's wrong with these people, the only thing I was able to notice was that many of the people from France don't care to learn English, and that's ok, but if you don't know the language and try to use an online translator, there are bound to appear a lot of things that don't make sense, if these people along with the rest that say that I'm this horrible person, use an online translator, they're misunderstanding a lot of things and imagining things in their heads.

I left it alone the next day because we still exchanged messages throughout the day, obviously not being able to understand half of what the person tried to say and guessing that he was misunderstanding my words even further for not having someone there to tell him that I never said anything bad about his work or his person.

It's clear that this French community of GK builders has this grudge against me just because they don't understand English, misunderstand me and just decide to judge me and say that I'm a bad person.

So I decided to block that country from viewing my facebook page, I wish I was able to do the same thing on youtube, but I can't do it at the moment...

It makes me really wonder, I give out all this information for free, and the thing I get in return is judgement, false accusations and just a bad rap for helping the community out, I say for free, because the only other tutorials you will see online will be from people selling them at $30-$50 dollars just so you can learn how to paint your own kits, I've come to understand that people are ingrates and other gk modelers will lash at me because to them, I'm the one in the spot light and they don't like it, well, NEWS FLASH! Everybody can start making their own videos and put themselves out there in public just like me, but they decide not to do it.

This whole situation got me thinking... is it still worth it to keep doing my videos and showing people who to do things?
Is it worth being "the popular one" in exchange for the rest of the gk community to look down on me because they feel that their work is inferior to mine because of so many people commenting and praising my videos?

Ever since I started my channel and gotten more subscribers, the members in my gk community have pushed me away, ignoring me, not commenting on things, just passing me for a ghost whenever I leave a message in the forums...

It actually does hurt, to not be acknowledged most of the times by your own colleagues, sure... the fans are always there, they say... but being pushed away from the very people you started with is heartbreaking...

Makes me wonder....

journal skin by sihi-chan
Skin by sihi-chan (modified by LeonasWorkshop)
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megomobile Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I've only just recently found your videos and tutorials while I was doing research on airbrushes and GK building in general. I've wanted to get an airbrush and compressor for some time now, as I collect BJDs and it would come in handy for painting them, but I've always wanted to get into GKs but I had no idea how. Your videos not only helped me make an informed decision on what equipment to buy, but also boosted my confidence that GK is something I -can- get into--- you've provided a wealth of knowledge and really helped make the hobby more accessible and easy to understand to people like me who have never done it before! What you do is awesome, and you're doing amazing things, and I for one am very grateful. I love your videos, and I thank you so much for sharing your knowledge. Thanks to you, I placed orders for my new airbrush and compressor and I hope I can get started on using them soon.

People like the French builders exist in every hobby and it's very disappointing. Usually there's nothing you can go do to change their minds, because they have built up an image of you in their heads based on misinformation, assumptions, ignorance, and jealousy. The best you can do is open a dialogue with them (which it sounds like you've tried to do), but in the end, it's them who are missing out. If they're gonna be jerks, they're not worth your time. You're better than that!

So, long story short, you're awesome and please keep being awesome. Let the haters hate, it's just making them look like idiots with a grudge. There are probably way more of us who admire and love you than those who don't. You rock.
meteor-echo Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You know what? You're amazing - you put so much hard work into each and every of your projects, be it the actual kits or the videos. You explain everything with great detail, so even a newcomer to the hobby can understand what you're talking about and how to recreate what you do. You spend so much time editing and prettying up your videos, taking photos of GKs, posting, and I'm incredibly grateful for what you do.
Don't be thwarted by someone who seems to keep attacking you instead of trying to keep talking with you civilly. They're not worth your time at all!

Hana-Keijou Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ok, I wasn't gonna worry before, but after reading that, I just have to get this off of my chest.

Hun? You ARE the GK Queen! Princess La 

I never knew ANYTHING about GKs before finding your youtube channel! Wanna know what a typical GK project was like for me?

Sloppily cutting tabs with scissors, doing the minimum amount of sanding, straight to painting (with thick paint and brushes mind you), and super gluing it all together while praying the pieces don't break off later. And that was it.

I didn't know what putty was, I didn't know I should pin pieces to keep them from slipping, I didn't know I could get such a high level quality paint job with an air bush. ....I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I COULD AFFORD AN AIR BRUSH! Eventually, I quit cuz I felt I was wasting money, and I knew I could never get the sort quality that one could get from the factory painted version. 

I just wished I'd found you sooner.

The hobby originally started out as one of those things I did for a friend on a whim as a present, but then... I found I liked it. A lot! And where as I have yet to get back into the hobby of GK building (slowly gathering the materials needed) I'm very eager to take what I've learned from you and test it out! I had no clue information like this even existed, until I found your channel early this year!

The French community of GK builders is angry at you? FOR WHAT? Doing what they should have done ages ago? PU-LEASE! Just whip your hair and shake em' off! And please don't stop making your videos.

Cuz, as far as I'm concerned, you are very much the GK queen!
:clap: Long may you Reign! :clap: 
starfiregurl26 Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2014
I'm sorry to hear that hun :( It's probably a miscommunication and a language barrier. That's still no excuse for him to take it out on you and be upset for stating your opinion. I mean it's just that, an opinion. If he didn't like it, he could have gone about it differently but still respected your opinion. I know when I have asked you things, you have been nothing but kind and helpful to me and I SO appreciate that. 

It is hard because as Tsurera said, they probably see that you are giving away the secrets, like a magician who reveals the magic tricks. But how else are people going to learn and grow if you don't help them out? You are just sharing what you have experienced and how new people can get around that and make a great model and improve their skills. For those who are growing and learning, we appreciate the videos and the information.  The best unfortunately always get criticized and mocked. I'm sure some of those guys are mocked for their opinions as well and treated like know it alls. I do hope you continue to do the videos, but if not then it is understandable. This is a rough situation to deal with and the internet is not filled with kind people anymore. Just know that those who are new appreciate the valuable information you share and appreciate your skills and who you are; a kind hearted, skilled young lady who wants to teach the world how to be the best at GK building. I will always be a fan of your work and appreciate the time you have taken out of your day to give me information or advice on something. God bless you and keep your chin up hun :heart: Usagi and Ami Glomp Icon 
Biomann Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2014
Lo único que importa es hacer lo que a uno le gusta, y si tienes el talento mejor, todo lo demás sale sobrando, no dejes que unos comentarios afecten tu trabajo.

SONICJENNY Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Just forget about these fools

They see your talents and Creativity
And they hate on u for being your self that just makes then low life's

I get that to on DA as I express my art there those who hate me just because they see my skills on things

Don't ever make them make u feel like your nothing thats makeing them win if that's the case stay stand and do what u love forget them

The sad part is that there still try to look for u
Haters's are your biggest fans even mind

Don't worry your not alone in this my dear :iconslowhugplz:
Tsurera Featured By Owner Edited Sep 15, 2014  Professional Artisan Crafter
It's a trade off. You're giving away the "secrets" and people are gonna be assholes about that. I had to learn the hard way too, and I'm still learning and your videos, tutorials and reviews are great. You're upbeat and informative and I among some others enjoy watching them. But! If you don't feel they're worth doing or you're too upset then don't make them. We'll be sad but we'll survive.
Also ignore the haters. Really it's the best thing you can do.
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Submitted on
September 14, 2014