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Alphabet 2

A

Alphabet 2

Zigging and zagging down the dark path, racing for the warmth of light   “You aren’t moving fast enough, you aren’t doing things right!” Xyrophillan thoughts beg me to listen to them and feel the pleasure that comes with pain “Why must you be such a failure? You can’t do even the simplest thing right!” Vines tangle themselves around me, dragging me into the arms of a demon “Ugly, fat, child what makes you think you are worth anything?” Tearing a hole in my heart so it can fester and tant my body “Save the excuses, everyone is tired of hearing about your so called ‘problems.R
0Comments

Alphabet

A

Alphabet

I barely eat and I am always anxious about something My sleep is short and I distract my mind with stupid things to stay calm The smile on my face is fake half the time for I don’t know how to stay happy Eyes always facing forward, towards the future but hardly ever in the moment Bright light is just at the surface, shining so sweetly but the surface is so far way Something is blocking my way out of this watery hell I have dropped myself in “Just be happy about what you have; you are better off than others” You don’t understand how hard it is to break free “Life is meant to be hard” Of course it is, but ma
0Comments

Emotions

E

Emotions

How does one show emotions when one does not feel them? What is one meant to do when one has thrown away emotions in order to survive? The world has changed; emotions are good again but how long will that last? Grow them back, feel all at once then have to throw them away again Over and over this painful ripping and regrowing process happens taking important parts away each time 75, 50, 25, down to last 5% of soul, what will happen when it is down to 0? Death is knocking at the door already; everyday it gets more impatient The angel of life is packing up, done with the roller-coaster it has been put on for some stupid child that doesn’
0Comments

Lies

L

Lies

Only few days in and the stress is intense You say you wish to help me grow That you know I can't go forward without your help But then you demand things from me I don't have Things you know I don't have So when I am done I owe you more then what I could ever give Stress and hate and anxiety take over my life The need to run away and cry or hurt consumes me
0Comments

Sides

S

Sides

You are told that there are only two sides in life, Light and Dark The Light is where we should be, the Dark is for evil and hopeless people But that is not all true, evil is in the Light and hope is in the Dark These people are living in the Gray, it is not a place most go to It is a temporary place, a stepping stone from one side to the other But what if it became more than that, how messed up would the world be? If this Gray stopped the battle of Light and Dark, would there be Utopia? Could we have less hate if the Gray became more than a stepping stone?
0Comments

Painful Love

P

Painful Love

I lie to you to keep you My life is fine, there is nothing wrong But you only stay when I am in pain What else am I to do? To get you to want to be with me Once we were almost But you awoke from the sleep I put you under You realized how wrong it would be To be with me Now you are in love with another Even after it ended you still wanted them I am just as amazing You tell me I am Or were you pitting me again? I am just a child What would I know of love? But this feeling I have is so very close It eats at me daily Will you come and save me? Or will you let me down And show me that I really am pathetic?
1Comments

Good-Bye

G

Good-Bye

Feelings have no use for me. Why try to feel love when I end up feeling anger? Why try to be happy when sadness won't leave? Here is no point to do any of this. If I had no feelings then I could live my life without ever getting hurt. Happiness would not come to me anyway so it will not be missed by me. I can not love myself so no on will love me, anger causes pain, sadness leaves you lonely. So what is the point just end it now.... That's it! End it now, stop all the pain in just a quick shot or slice! Everything will be alright if I could just end it....end me. Everything and everyone will be better.
2Comments

Depressing smile

D

Depressing smile

Emptiness grows each day Happiness lessens each minute Wakening to feel alone Sleeping to feel loved Wondering when the end is Knowing the beginning hasn't started Looking in the mirror at an ugly girl Wishing to be pretty Faking smiles Hiding frowns To weak to cut To strong for help Wanting friends Afraid of others Hoping for love Hating all I see Holding all feelings inside Breaking apart
1Comments

Waiting For The Day Of Saving

W

Waiting For The Day Of Saving

My heart beats fast But each day it slows Pain grows more common It's hard to smile knowing what is happening inside My mask cracks little by little But never breaks, for then people would know the truth No one will ever be the wiser to the pain Keep faking until the day the hero comes Hope fading under the sorrow Lies of Friendship come from within the darkness Heart beat slows until the darkness takes over Nothing left but a dead body with a cracked smiling mask No one would ever know the truth for the mask was too perfect
3Comments

Is good really good

I

Is good really good

Why is it that I can not find lasting happiness? I do good and am kind Yet people do not seem to like this Should I become mean than? Should I treat people like dirt so that I can get lots of friends? How could it be that mean people can have more friends than I can? I guess I am to be forever alone
7Comments
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Alphabet 2

A

Alphabet 2

Zigging and zagging down the dark path, racing for the warmth of light   “You aren’t moving fast enough, you aren’t doing things right!” Xyrophillan thoughts beg me to listen to them and feel the pleasure that comes with pain “Why must you be such a failure? You can’t do even the simplest thing right!” Vines tangle themselves around me, dragging me into the arms of a demon “Ugly, fat, child what makes you think you are worth anything?” Tearing a hole in my heart so it can fester and tant my body “Save the excuses, everyone is tired of hearing about your so called ‘problems.R
0Comments

Alphabet

A

Alphabet

I barely eat and I am always anxious about something My sleep is short and I distract my mind with stupid things to stay calm The smile on my face is fake half the time for I don’t know how to stay happy Eyes always facing forward, towards the future but hardly ever in the moment Bright light is just at the surface, shining so sweetly but the surface is so far way Something is blocking my way out of this watery hell I have dropped myself in “Just be happy about what you have; you are better off than others” You don’t understand how hard it is to break free “Life is meant to be hard” Of course it is, but ma
0Comments

Emotions

E

Emotions

How does one show emotions when one does not feel them? What is one meant to do when one has thrown away emotions in order to survive? The world has changed; emotions are good again but how long will that last? Grow them back, feel all at once then have to throw them away again Over and over this painful ripping and regrowing process happens taking important parts away each time 75, 50, 25, down to last 5% of soul, what will happen when it is down to 0? Death is knocking at the door already; everyday it gets more impatient The angel of life is packing up, done with the roller-coaster it has been put on for some stupid child that doesn’
0Comments

Lies

L

Lies

Only few days in and the stress is intense You say you wish to help me grow That you know I can't go forward without your help But then you demand things from me I don't have Things you know I don't have So when I am done I owe you more then what I could ever give Stress and hate and anxiety take over my life The need to run away and cry or hurt consumes me
0Comments

Sides

S

Sides

You are told that there are only two sides in life, Light and Dark The Light is where we should be, the Dark is for evil and hopeless people But that is not all true, evil is in the Light and hope is in the Dark These people are living in the Gray, it is not a place most go to It is a temporary place, a stepping stone from one side to the other But what if it became more than that, how messed up would the world be? If this Gray stopped the battle of Light and Dark, would there be Utopia? Could we have less hate if the Gray became more than a stepping stone?
0Comments

Painful Love

P

Painful Love

I lie to you to keep you My life is fine, there is nothing wrong But you only stay when I am in pain What else am I to do? To get you to want to be with me Once we were almost But you awoke from the sleep I put you under You realized how wrong it would be To be with me Now you are in love with another Even after it ended you still wanted them I am just as amazing You tell me I am Or were you pitting me again? I am just a child What would I know of love? But this feeling I have is so very close It eats at me daily Will you come and save me? Or will you let me down And show me that I really am pathetic?
1Comments

Good-Bye

G

Good-Bye

Feelings have no use for me. Why try to feel love when I end up feeling anger? Why try to be happy when sadness won't leave? Here is no point to do any of this. If I had no feelings then I could live my life without ever getting hurt. Happiness would not come to me anyway so it will not be missed by me. I can not love myself so no on will love me, anger causes pain, sadness leaves you lonely. So what is the point just end it now.... That's it! End it now, stop all the pain in just a quick shot or slice! Everything will be alright if I could just end it....end me. Everything and everyone will be better.
2Comments

Depressing smile

D

Depressing smile

Emptiness grows each day Happiness lessens each minute Wakening to feel alone Sleeping to feel loved Wondering when the end is Knowing the beginning hasn't started Looking in the mirror at an ugly girl Wishing to be pretty Faking smiles Hiding frowns To weak to cut To strong for help Wanting friends Afraid of others Hoping for love Hating all I see Holding all feelings inside Breaking apart
1Comments

Waiting For The Day Of Saving

W

Waiting For The Day Of Saving

My heart beats fast But each day it slows Pain grows more common It's hard to smile knowing what is happening inside My mask cracks little by little But never breaks, for then people would know the truth No one will ever be the wiser to the pain Keep faking until the day the hero comes Hope fading under the sorrow Lies of Friendship come from within the darkness Heart beat slows until the darkness takes over Nothing left but a dead body with a cracked smiling mask No one would ever know the truth for the mask was too perfect
3Comments

Is good really good

I

Is good really good

Why is it that I can not find lasting happiness? I do good and am kind Yet people do not seem to like this Should I become mean than? Should I treat people like dirt so that I can get lots of friends? How could it be that mean people can have more friends than I can? I guess I am to be forever alone
7Comments
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  • Feb 2
  • United States
  • Deviant for 8 years
  • She / Her
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What now?

What now?

What do you do when everything keeps falling apart? How do you keep yourself going forward when the ground will give out from under you no matter where you stand? I got kicked out of church college, have no clue what career I want, tried to join the military only to have them tell me they don't want someone with depression. That leaves me with no idea how to make it in this incressingly hard world. My family tells to be an adult but doesn't help me figure out how to do that, they just want me to figure things out but I have never imagined a future for myself. Most people can picture where they want to be down the road or even see themselves w
0Comments

Devious Journal Entry

Devious Journal Entry

Why go through the pain of feelings when you will always get hurt? Might as well stay to myself, be a crazy animal lady who would rather speak to animals who love me than humans who don’t care. I try to please so hard and no one ever tries to please me the same way. Maybe it is just the place I am searching in, it is full of losers who don’t care about feelings? I am a mess of feeling, of emotions and thoughts, so if you are going to come into my life you need to understand that I need more than the crap pickup lines you use on other women. I need someone who cares and wants me to be their lady, their only one. WHY IS IT SO HARD T
0Comments

Devious Journal Entry

Devious Journal Entry

You are meant to be a great person that will help me grow and be happy but all you do is me question where I am even worthy of being loved. Maybe I am not meant to be in a caring relationship, but inside I am just a sexy toy meant to be used then thrown away when I become boring. That is what you make me feel, you and all the others that came before. It’s like guys take one look at me and see nothing but a shell they can use over and over. Although I have become a shell of a girl that ran away to the corner of her mind for safety, that does mean that you can just use me. The little girl is trying to come back to the top and live once ag
0Comments

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Meow-VortexHobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for the watch! :D
slinkysis3Hobbyist Digital Artist

Thank you for faving Poison Ivy

It is very much appreciated!

  Poison Ivy by slinkysis3

delaveranoHobbyist Photographer
Thank You for a food FAV!
Thanks for the fav! :]
timpu Traditional Artist
Thanks for the fav.
Cheers.
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Thanks for the fave =)
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Thank you for the fav!