+++untimely+++

+++untimely+++

She want's me to say
what she wants me to say,
but I can't, the timing isn't right.
And it's not about comitment
or any of that old cliched bull.

There are just things
that I have to do,
things that I can't do with her...
not here, not now.

It's not that I don't want to be with her...
I do.
I do want to be with her,
I need to be with her...
but the place I'm at in my life
just won't allow it.

I don't have that option yet.
I don't want to get her
and then lose her because of my situation,
I don't want to hold her down
or anything of that nature either
but that's where things would end
and I don't need that in my life.

Hurting her is not my goal.

So, I keep things cool,
seeing as how I don't want to
lose her friendship and end up
cutting myself off from her presence.

And I do the things
that were needed to be done,
had to be done.
I do the deal, working it all out as I go.
But I can't take too long,
I can't leave her waiting forever,
that just won't do.

And when things are through,
when the time is right
and I can say the things
that she want's me to say,
I go back to my 'friend'
and try to rekindle
what in the past I could not hold onto
without extra complications.

But remember,
relationships are a spinning,
swirling duet and need both parties
to consent to the dance
or the performance won't come off at it's best.
So I'm sure you can see the irony
and you can probably hazard a guess
as to where I'm going with this.

There I am, trying to keep it cool,
offering her my hand yet all the while
she's giving me that sad smile
and I know that things aren't going to go my way.

But it's fine, it's cool.
It isn't that I've lost her to someone else
or that she doesn't want to be with me.
'The timing isn't right.' she says.
And I can only smile and nod ok
while glancing up at the heaves to say
'that's real funny.'

The clouds don't answer back,
and there's no miraculous sign
to acknowledge that any of my words
pierced thier soft, turmulous barrier
but I know he heard me up there,
probably shrugged his shoulders,
and replied to himself that that was life.

So I wait,
I wait to hear her say
what I want her to say.
But I can't wait too long you see.,.
that just wouldn't do.