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Here is some more recent works that were done for me whether it was a raffle win/gift or a trade.

:iconaritaona: Art Trade <B
For LadySeshiiria by Aritaona

:iconbeea-chan: Art Trade <B
A.T by Beea-chan

:icondinnartz: Art Trades <B
(AT) Smoke by Dinnartz (AT) Atrum by Dinnartz

:iconsuomar: Raffle Gift <B
Atrum (Raffle prize) by SUOMAR

Thank you to everyone who recently worked with me I appreciate it! <B

Please feel free to check out these awesome artists! 


    Trying to play catch up still, can't seem to make any head way on some of my things. We got back and the house was left in a clean state but we had moved everything around in the kitchen to provide warm space for the plants we are growing and trying to get a space cleared for work is a nightmare because no one wants to friggen help me get anything cleaned up... Let me rephrase everyone is being lazy... Anyway it's like two step forwards three step backwards trying to get to a point where I have a working space. And when I have a damn working space something else is messy... I can't get ahead. :/ Because in good conscience I can't work on things, unless things are taken care of around the house and my son is taken care of. This crap that delays me is about to set me off. What to do? 
    I really needed this! Holy smokes... Especially after my FB town group incident. Man, people can be insensitive and down right nasty. So the really awesome thing I decided to do was post in my local church's group and I have gotten some responses back with potential donors with physical fabric donations. Many saw on the gofundme that whatever I couldn't use would be made into quilts and blankets for project linus so they have been offering things for that as well. Experience is experience. So I guess well will see if things will follow through? Still though the fact that I'm getting offers is great. So I'm really hoping people contact me and I can get the fabrics. Also really excited to get involved in this charity project I've been dying to do. I think I may also donate some of the blankets to to local poor closet out here so those in need out here won't be forced to drive out of town. It's an idea.

    Also still haven't posted pictures of my trip and still need to do this... 

    I have a small amount of fabric I can turn into shorts and I'm thinking what I could do is make them and auction them so part of the funds would go to charity project linus and the other part could be invested towards my education endeavors. Obviously not making a profit out of it but putting me a step closer to my goals of having more uploaded for a portfolio. Btw, my biggest mistake in life was not taking pictures of quite a few things I made over the years. It kills me looking back on this, it was a hard lesson, so many blankets, quilts, and costumes made for others that just got pisses away for potential portfolio pieces. Lesson here: Always document your work. My biggest fail was not taking a picture of a men's larp costume I made in 2010... FAIL! FAIL! I did the gauntlets out of faux leather and hammered in the grommets myself. The cape was badass and the chain I used for the attachment was badass... :/ See why I say hard lessons?

    I also started talking around my local church ward and have a few people interested in what I am doing. So hopefully I can obtain some support. Some people have offered physical fabric donations so we will need to see how that pans out. The last donation I got I wasn't able to use. They had dropped off a bag and when I got to looking at it the fabric was in shreds and couldn't be used. Still the effort is appreciated.

    Also I'm close to making Trending on Gofundme. I did a lot of work to get shares or shared my campaign as much as I could. I just need two more donations and it doesn't matter what the amount it is, then I can start popping up in the gofundme feed. "Trending"

    "A "trending" GoFundMe campaign means that you’ve gotten a lot of support in a short amount of time, and it’s our goal to help campaign organizers understand how to reach this milestone. In general, this little box will show up on your GoFundMe when you hit these marks:
  1. Your campaign was started less than 6 weeks ago
  2. There are more than 25 shares
  3. You’ve received at least 4 donations " -…

    39 Shares under 3 weeks. Go me! Yeah! <B Thank you to those who have also supported me! <B
    So now that I am back from this trip I still have to finish my gifts and trades. I never got a chance to get to them while I was up there. So I finished one tonight and I will have it uploaded here in about ten minutes. Thank you everyone for your patience! <B
    After this I think I only have four more pieces to do. Then I'm going to be planning another raffle or contest. 
    I'm not sure how to respond to this... I'm not feeling so well right now. In fact I'm feeling rather discouraged. In order to get this campaign of the ground as an alternative to traditional education or college. But before I go further...

    I've been given the chance to volunteer at the festival and I'm ecstatic about it. That part I am grateful for and the support that I have received on here from a few fellow friends and watchers I'll be eternally grateful for. I have been invited to go down when the actors show up for their fittings in May from 13th - 17th, as a heads up for anyone interested in following this.

    Here is the kicker though. I wasn't even sure starting a gofundme campaign was right for me. Aside from how I was raised I tried hard to put aside what I was taught in order to think from a different perspective. Though now I'm having second thoughts as I am litterally being attacked by people on FB whether its passive, passive aggressive, or just plain aggressive. 

    Since I started the campaign a little over two weeks ago and in attempts to share it along the way. I've been told I need to work more, go to college, get a job... etc... All of which are obviously unhelpful. I've also been helped out by a few people in the community whether it was physical fabric donations or money. Which is positive and I am grateful for. 

    I took the time to even request donations from few corporations and was shot down. Since they are more interested in helping non-for-profits or giving large money donations. I tried. Just to say that I tried.

    But today... I just got burned. I was passively told in my home town group page through a meme post on the page  that I was a panhandler, a loser, to get a job, and that I was an entitled brat. A negative gofundme meme...

    I have paper thin skin... I try to be strong and I have paper thin skin. I'm feeling burned and I want to cry. I don't know if I'm up for subjecting myself to this kind of negativity. People don't know me. They don't know how hard I work. That I've volunteered in many ways since I was a teen and young adult. During the years when most children are selfish and expect money. I've wiped bottoms for old people and babies. I'm going to be honest here. I've done most jobs most people stick their noses in the air at, jobs no one has ever wants to do and with a smile. I've made and cultivated intimate relationships with people. I've worked fast food. I've cleaned for the elderly, cooked meals for people. Helped out at my local donation centers, etc... the list goes on.  

    And not once until now have I said anything really about it especially online. I don't brag about it. I see people doing on FB all the time. Pridefully patting themselves on the back. Things like this are sacred and should be treated as such. It's personal, its volunteer work. It's supposed to be thankless.

    I've been told I'm prideful... . I've been told the reason why I'm prideful. It's because I often don't accept help or ask for it when I should. It's because of how I was raised. I was taught not to ask for things, I was taught to work hard, I was taught to give but never take. I've been told everyone needs to learn to do both. That its valuable to give and valuable to accept kindness or help when necessary. I've been trying to learn how to accept and ask for help over the years but its been hard for me. I don't like doing it, because of things like what I described above. 

    I don't want to be known as a panhandler... or a beggar, or a liar. I try to conduct myself honestly and with integrity. So is this really a good idea? I was told it would be good to learn how to do this. I was encouraged to do this by many people. I was told many a philanthropist and a non-profit organization couldn't get their starts without donations or help from others. That many successful people have done it this way, and that of coarse a lot of rejection is involved. i can handle rejection. No's are easy. But to be down right harassed and mocked and even belittled. I can handle it...

    This was the image that was posted in my group today. Underneath it was a lot of hurtful things and people joining in on the comments section. I've mowed lawns, and I've been taken advantage of, I've shoveled snow and had the same happen. I used to try to earn money this way... Its hard work and it sucks when your done people go thank you and dismiss you and not pay you. I've been burned. Lesson learned don't do jobs for assholes. I wouldn't have learned those hard lessons if I hadn't done them. 

Image result for gofundme meme lawn

    So what now? Do I shut it down because I don't want to be known as entitled or a scammer or a panhandler? Where do I go from here? Is this unethical? I don't want to be unethical...

    I don't know how to feel other than to just go sob in a corner...
    So I didn't get to share this immediately since the tablet has limited capabilities. It doesn't allow for copy paste timestamp video. But this was what I got excited about. I had such a hard time staying in the chat and keeping the live feed running at the time I actually missed most of the show on top of the fact that I even missed half of what they said about my profile. XD I had to go back and watch it after. 

    I did a poll here to see how many of you missed it, got to join, or even knew about it. This was the results.…

    Here I am! 1:49:14 or -19:56. For some reason DA isn't letting me copy paste the url timestamp at that time. It just loads the whole video. But if you want to watch the whole thing it was super fun and I highly recommend participating in a future event! 

    I will be getting to uploading pictures from my trip later tomorrow. Unpacked yesterday and cleaned. Even though I cleaned before I left it smelled... like wet paint it was soo weird.
I don't think I'm going to be able to make my goal for the few commissions I wanted. The artists I wanted to commissioned stopped taking points and take cash only so I'll have to wait on it. One artist I wanted to commission no longer takes them at all. :( Kind of a bummer but can't be helped. Thank you for the donations I'll save them for later when I can find another artist.

What I'm wanting to aim for is some art supplies since that may be more realistic. I posted up a GoFundMe campaign in my donation widget for my career path. My Kofi can also be found there as well.

Since my gofundme is probably asking to much I'm hoping to replace my older broken art tools and progress my sketching and traditional arts further in hopes of using it to open commissions and pay for my other supplies, put myself in a step forward towards my practical experience for this job I'm going to be sampling in May. I would prefer to finish college but it's not in the stars right now... Just can't make it happen financially even with aid on my side. The transportation just kills me and my budget. It almost put us on the street since I live too far from a school. Will eventually finish though.  

This what I'm looking at now currently:

Amazon list:…


(Protect colored pencils while outdoor study or travel)

I realized I really need to amp up my learning in traditional art and play catch up I think I can better apply it to digital once I get a new computer. It would be great to eventually get to digital art for many reasons, one being my story art and another commission option.

Thank you for reading. Sorry for the lack of replies still out of town. Will be probably heading back Friday. We got an unexpected snow storm... That's Utah for you.

Trip Update 3

Tue Apr 9, 2019, 12:21 PM
Okay just a quick update sorry again using speech to text for those of you watching roll call live I don't know if you guys saw that they mentioned my profile on the livestream which is really cool. I literally cried the kind of started a little bit I got pay some awesome compliments I got called a Renaissance girl and then they got the one guy I love my triforce pendant so that makes me happy I will have to post when I have property computer accessible the timestamp so you guys can see it if you haven't washed it yet I really highly suggested they were thinking a lot of the members of the community and they were showing a lot of other deviance showcasing sorry so not yesterday but the day before I got to tour the costume shop again I've done this a few times while being up here when they're off-season but I got to have a personal tour with the costume director I can't drop names I have been asked not to so I will respect that then today I decided to kind of get some balls and go see if I can't take pictures of this so that I can post it on my GoFundMe campaign and see if I can't gain a little more success that way I was given permission to post up whatever I wanted to even costumes but obviously nobody wants pictures of themselves on their because they don't want me name-dropping you got to work for those kinds of things. so we will probably get the pictures uploaded onto my computer next week when we get home and I will get a copyright and disclaimer written for each of the pictures before I post so that they can be posted up and credited to the Shakespeare festival out here in Utah but I'm really looking forward to this. Also good news I was invited to come back up in May and see how the costume shop operates during the on season and during it chaos I was also invited to come up and do a little bit of work in the shop as a volunteer which is really cool so I'm excited to try that out and see what it's all about down here I also decided to take a pamphlet from the front office where my husband's mom works and I found that they actually have free seminars down here to check those out I think I'm going to try and hit August 7 hours cuz they have props costumes and hair and makeup are going on during that month so I think it would be cool to maximize the whole experience. okay that is all for now I can't really update on too much with pictures and things until I get home so I apologize thank you for reading.…

Skin by illiyah

Trip Update 2

Mon Apr 8, 2019, 9:28 AM
Okay sorry speech-to-text again I'm going to be meeting the costume director today just letting everybody know I will probably get back and try and type something up later and let her bring know how it went okay guys love you wish me luck thanks

Skin by illiyah

Trip Update

Sat Apr 6, 2019, 7:11 AM
Okay I can't type too much because for some reason my keyboard is not working and I'm having to text to speech so I'm sorry if this looks terrible I am here in Cedar City right now. We got here and we did dinner with one of the department heads, it was really fun we got talk about a lot  we talk about chili Klaus and the hot pepper challenges and things like that so it was pretty cool I'm sorry again cuz I'm noticing that there's a lot of errors in this text as I'm talking and it's picking up my mode of speaking which is kind of Backwater and horrid.  kind of tired. I forget how long that trip is it kind of wears you out it's that the drive the drive is like 4 hours long so I'm like really tired I apologize yet again I'm probably not going to get to my notifications for comments so I wish everybody a good week I will try to get back to everybody when I can it is very difficult to write on a tablet and I know that they have the da app but it sucks is terrible and I was never able to use the journal system or the status function very well and I couldn't figure it out so I'm just using this on regular internet on the site and I'm still having a difficult time because the tablet integration is not not great I don't really have anything else to say right now other than I hope everybody has a great week I could see that as for what I saw in the comments yes we tried making appointments with some people here but it can be very difficult especially when the season is on and things done so I'm kind of low on the totem pole sometimes and that's not a bad thing but you know whatever I get to see people during off-season so that's cool I'm going to go probably get some hikes while we're up here and try and lose some more weight I've been doing pretty well with that I don't think I've really updated much on it but the hardest part about losing weight is cutting soda for me sorry you again sorry again but the text-to-speech is horrid I was trying to edit this but it is difficult so if you're not a native English speaker this is going to be very very very difficult for you to just get back to you later

Skin by illiyah
    Discord Emoji - Thinking I have some thoughts I have been mulling over for a while now. One is about my story that I have been working on for so long, The Hero Chronicles. I don't know that I feel safe releasing it onto the internet in pieces or in whole since I want to publish it. People have to make a living. Shrug It's not fanfiction so if I stand a chance of earning a fair wage and taking care of my family I will. But, hear me out. I have been thinking about releasing some of my notes and character development stuff. My only problem is I would prefer to do this in a character sheet form in digital art and not a boring document. Problem there is that I don't have the ability or skill to draw digitally currently due to this computer being, well... barely existing. So it cascades into not being able to develop the skills set. I know its there and that I can do it but I'm in a rock and a hard place so to speak. This was the last place I left off in terms of skill set: Digital Practice Fashion 3 , Digital Practice Fashion 1 , Digital Practice Fashion Dress 2 , Fantasy Male Croquis Sand BG

    The other thing is that I am broke and can't afford to go around commissioning people every time I need something. (Literally budgeted month to month barely and I live cheap, don't eat out, and I don't use credit cards. I don't have unnecessary debt.) I've been saving up points for a few commissions and rewards for raffles and deviant involvement. I prefer to be careful and not frivolous on spending them especially since they are earmarked for specific purposes. My widget doesn't even display my correct amount because I am tracking in split amounts so that I use the points honestly. 

    F2U: dummy dream  I also have the chance to work in the field of my dreams. Which could potentially even though it would be six months out of the year be decent pay and boost project potentials, but I have to wait until I can move down there. So that is why I also need a boost to obtain this opportunity. I am trying to show people that I am not begging but that I am willing to work hard and earn it. The thing is the end goal is a career so the investment is actually not a frivolous investment. I see a lot of campaigns online for wants for example last night I ran into one where a person wanted to go to an anime convention and wanted people to help them acquire money for their trip and their costume. I want to show that I'm trying to be a productive member of society so please forgive me for feeling the need to rationalize and ask for help. Lil' Miss Hidey Face My campaign is below I would appreciate it if people could share it around and help me at least gain viewership. That would be a big help! <B… point is love 

    For the time I am trying to finish my queue'd art requests, gifts, and trades. Which are close to being done, so I am sorry if you have been waiting a while. It would seem even though I've tried to crank out 1 to 2 pieces a week that some of you have been waiting a few weeks and I do apologize. I think since this was mostly an experiment for me and a way for me to start drawing again it has been good so I thank you for the opportunity! Heart 

    :overwhelmed: I think I will alter how I do things and only take on 3 at a time from now on, like how some people do slot sign ups. It can be overwhelming to have that much work weighing down on you knowing people are waiting. Even if everyone is kosher with it. I think its that feeling of making others wait, even though legitimately I am running a household and primary care giver for a child. I've been trying to put off personal projects to finish these and had started them because my Necromancer project was stalled for the time because of funding. So hopefully with how things are going if everyone is satisfied with my work I may use it as a spring board for opening commissions. 

    I'm still debating how to work with my terms of services so that it is fair and I am debating changing the refund and payment policies so that they are more appealing. I've been getting some tips on things. I was hoping when I do open commissions it could be a good way for me to earn money for my projects and tools. I had originally thought to give artwork away to donors of any amount but after having a few people donate. Sorry The problem here is, and I hope this doesn't offend people, having gift art stack I have found that it cuts into my project time immensely so using art as a donor reward can be overwhelming. In other words I need to be aptly paid for my time in order to be successful and I think like most of you there is nothing wrong with that. I have found that I have to keep my time precious to me.

    So this brings me to an issue. I noticed the more successful campaigns or projects with great funding give rewards out. I feel I don't really have much to offer since what I already offer for example feedback/critiques, advice and such should be free and not charged for. It should be looked at as building community and friends. I'm not sure how I feel about charging for services other people offer for free. I know that people work hard and that their time is precious and they should be compensated for it but... art advice that many others have already given away for free online seems lame to charge for.  (I see people do this on patreon a lot...) You just have to look for it.

    Danisnotonfire 12 This also brings me to tutorials. I'm not a public speaker. I have a serious issue like 99 percent of you out there getting up in front of people. The camera doesn't love me and I don't love it.AIR - Misuzu Anguish Sobbing So vlogs are out of the question. I don't mind posting a tutorial with static images and text though. I actually personally prefer those.  So my qualm with that is there are tons of tutorials out there and I would prefer to search and send a person to another blog than spend time making one especially since there is already more than enough material out there and that would cut into much needed time for writing, sewing, and arting. Many tutorials out there you used to have to go to school or buy a class for to learn like the more complicated things and such in sewing especially. You would often have to pay 35-250 or more per class instruction. Nowadays with the boom of the internet education is literally at our fingertips. All we have to do is apply some effort on our part and search it out. So you could easily find a free tutorial for say Dresden pot holders which when I was working at Joann Fabric's they would charge 35$ for the class. It's hard to sell a class when people can find it for free btw... Now I imagine that people who relied on teaching sewing are losing a lot of business as a result of the vlog age. sad  When you charge 500$ for a class there is a reason. It isn't meant to rip the client off. The material, the tools, the knowledge, and the time are all very precious. Many people undercut themselves to teaching for minimum wage so people will take their classes since the initial expenses run people off.

    So with all of this in perspective can a person rely on donors without having to entice "freebies" which is really selling a product to them? Possibly? I would love to see your thoughts and suggestions on this. Advice is always appreciated. 

   Llama Fashion  On a final note. I may offer auction art in the future. So like fashion pieces for your OC's or like  (NU'EST) Ren  You Choose How / Your Character Here type stuff. Thoughts?

Skin by illiyah
    So there have been quite a few really cool things I've seen from my watchers in there galleries whether they watch me back or not it doesn't matter. But a couple of people really stuck out to me recently and I want to feature them. One is a new deviant so please give them a welcome! <B

    First we have :iconnotathoughtgiven: Who makes incredible colorful designs. Some of her stuff looks like it would be cool to print on fabric and wear! Can you image dresses out of some of these? I know I can! 

13-02-2019-np1 by notathoughtgiven  18-01-2019-10 by notathoughtgiven  02-01-2019 by notathoughtgiven  08-09-2018 by notathoughtgiven  The Dragon-of my heart by notathoughtgiven 01-03-2019-2 by notathoughtgiven  23-02-2019 by notathoughtgiven  08-02-2019-2 by notathoughtgiven  06-02-2019-2 by notathoughtgiven  29-01-2019 by notathoughtgiven  30-12-2018-p2 by notathoughtgiven  18-12-2018-2 by notathoughtgiven  29-11-2018 by notathoughtgiven

    And we have a newcomer joining us! Please welcome them! :iconevil-chimera: They have a lot of great stuff up already! So if you like concept art and character art or even dragons you welcome. ;) <B

Warhead -:COMMISSION:- by Evil-Chimera  Draugr Slayer -:COMMISSION:- by Evil-Chimera  Half Elf Ronin by Evil-Chimera   Green Dragon by Evil-Chimera 

Mature Content

Jeff the Killer 2019 -:COLLABORATION:- by Evil-Chimera
  Madam Stella Omethia :NEW OC: by Evil-ChimeraDaughter of Frost WIP 3 by Evil-Chimera

    Thanks for reading! Have a happy April Fools. Also get your Khush badge before its gone. XD

    So I just want to take a moment everyone and say thank you so much! I have such awesome wonderful supporters! I finally made it onto the undiscovered page! I was just browsing for fun too! T.T Look number two image!!!! *Squeals*

Can't Breathe Too Excited And next to a really cool piece of art of shoes! <B 

Undiscovered Celebration! by LadySeshiiria
    Has come to a close and everyone who listed their goals and projects good luck too you! <B They will be announcing the winners I guess sometime through the beginning of April that I have read. If you posted a project goal feel free to share it here in this journal so I can have a look! <B Have a wonderful day guys. I will be out for a couple days.
  Okay so a projects update for those of you waiting on trades and gift art. I am so sorry it's been a busy/bad week and I just got my house tidied up finally so that I have a clean work space to get to work in. I tried to organize it into a queue so you have an idea of the order I will try to post work in.


Current Trades and Gifts:

:iconmariaenzianiakober: Fantasy Horse Gift (Done and awaiting funds to ship gift.)
:icondinnartz: Trade OC 2 of 2 (Currently working on, self-reference photo-shooting - hands. A sort of Fashion Bust.) Edit: Done.
:iconmanchinesandmonsters: Duo OC (Concept stages want this one to be really cool. - Still haven't quite found a thumbnail sketch I like. I'm wanting it to have a technical but soft feel. Robot/Mechanical studies.) Started
:iconmercenaryblade: Story OC Finished 1 of 2 (Obtained pose reference. Starting Sketch Tonight.)  Edit: Done.
:iconravens-crow: OC Outfits 2 of 4 (Will be starting soon.)
:iconfoolish-hearts: Fanart OC Gift (Not started but pose reference acquired.)
:iconnotathoughtgiven: OC Art Eagle (Not Started but have a neat pose idea.)
:iconmitsubishiman: Gallery Inspiration (Not Started)
:iconcarbonshuu: D&D Character (No hurry / School studies / Trade.)

Current Projects:

  • Building a GoFundMe page (Setting up accessibility between sites and other platforms.)
  • Planning a project start up for Project Linus. (In other words trying to work up the courage to ask for donation materials in my community Facebook forum. Why is something like this causing me anxiety? Guess I'm afraid of rejection? Also shopping for fabric prices and putting a budget together for baby flannel.) I would like to get involved and use my skills for something nice and also gain more practice. If you're interested and live in America here is the site! You can find your chapter and make quilts and donate them too! I think you can also donate money to them. Or you can donate money to help me buy fabric for the project and it can be a together effort! <b wytiwyg="1" i'll="" post="" every="" quilt="" or="" blanket="" i="" make="" and="" give="" credit="" to="" donors. https:="""" trying="" finish="" project="" necromancer.="" i'm="" rather="" irritated="" can't="" seem="" catch="" a="" break="" still="" need="" paper="" clay="" tools="" shape="" the="" antlers.="" also="" purchase="" so="" beads="" things="" for="" jewelry="" props.queen="" sized="" demin="" -="" on="" hold="" again...="" but="" only="" until="" end="" of="" this="" week.="" frame="" tie="" on.queued="" formal="" fashion="" dress digital="" practice="" 3 (i've="" had="" material="" little="" while.="" bought="" it="" shortly="" after="" designed="" dresses.)<="" s=""></b>
  • <b wytiwyg="1" i'll="" post="" every="" quilt="" or="" blanket="" i="" make="" and="" give="" credit="" to="" donors. https:="""" trying="" finish="" project="" necromancer.="" i'm="" rather="" irritated="" can't="" seem="" catch="" a="" break="" still="" need="" paper="" clay="" tools="" shape="" the="" antlers.="" also="" purchase="" so="" beads="" things="" for="" jewelry="" props.queen="" sized="" demin="" -="" on="" hold="" again...="" but="" only="" until="" end="" of="" this="" week.="" frame="" tie="" on.queued="" formal="" fashion="" dress digital="" practice="" 3 (i've="" had="" material="" little="" while.="" bought="" it="" shortly="" after="" designed="" dresses.)<="" s="">Queued Vintage/Retro Fashion Dress (Upload fashion design artwork.)</b>
  • <b wytiwyg="1" i'll="" post="" every="" quilt="" or="" blanket="" i="" make="" and="" give="" credit="" to="" donors. https:="""" trying="" finish="" project="" necromancer.="" i'm="" rather="" irritated="" can't="" seem="" catch="" a="" break="" still="" need="" paper="" clay="" tools="" shape="" the="" antlers.="" also="" purchase="" so="" beads="" things="" for="" jewelry="" props.queen="" sized="" demin="" -="" on="" hold="" again...="" but="" only="" until="" end="" of="" this="" week.="" frame="" tie="" on.queued="" formal="" fashion="" dress digital="" practice="" 3 (i've="" had="" material="" little="" while.="" bought="" it="" shortly="" after="" designed="" dresses.)<="" s="">Fabric sorting for the next quilt.</b>
<b wytiwyg="1" i'll="" post="" every="" quilt="" or="" blanket="" i="" make="" and="" give="" credit="" to="" donors. https:="""" trying="" finish="" project="" necromancer.="" i'm="" rather="" irritated="" can't="" seem="" catch="" a="" break="" still="" need="" paper="" clay="" tools="" shape="" the="" antlers.="" also="" purchase="" so="" beads="" things="" for="" jewelry="" props.queen="" sized="" demin="" -="" on="" hold="" again...="" but="" only="" until="" end="" of="" this="" week.="" frame="" tie="" on.queued="" formal="" fashion="" dress digital="" practice="" 3 (i've="" had="" material="" little="" while.="" bought="" it="" shortly="" after="" designed="" dresses.)<="" s="">
Thank you for you patience and support!

- LadySeshiiria

*Edit: Beta Testing Some How This Journal Threw a Coding Error. The More I try to fix it the more it breaks. Will be reporting. Also Just watch the front page widget. I thought I would journal updates so people knew where I was in the process. I apologize.
   I went for a check up today for my asthma but I also went in for some other reasons as well. I have been trying to lose weight and increase my health over the last couple years as I've been trying to track down what is wrong with me. (By the way didn't gain all the weight back I thought I did. Broken scale. I lost weight while my husband was down thanks to potion control.)

   I kind of want to cry right now. I just got put on diabetes medication called metformin to try out for a bit because of suspicion of insulin resistance. Meaning I'm not getting enough proper sugar absorption and could be why I'm craving it all the time. I came out of the doctors office today feeling like I knew less of what was going on with my body than I did before. (And I still don't even know if I heard him right...) And usually my doctor is awesome and I love him because I come out knowing how to fix things and attack problems head on. He likes me because I actually am trying to do what I'm supposed to instead of complain and whine and victimize. 

   While I don't have diabetes yet I've been struggling with hormone problems all my life bad enough to be life threatening during menstruation and birth. I have talked about hellp syndrome and preeclamspia before but this goes beyond that. I was diagnosed unofficially with pcos while pregnant but they weren't able to get an accurate read on the situation. I suffer from cysts and such. I have problems with acne and I'm almost 30. Which is complete and utter bullshit...

  Well the last few years I've been trying to ditch the soda and have been struggling. I need to do it for my ulcerative colitis so that I can lessen the frequency of flare ups. Thank God I have it under control but I have been having soda relapses and have been having a hard time with it. As if the headaches weren't bad enough which I can understand as being a part of addiction to caffeine. I've been struggling with a complex on the acne front and the pain and scarring from it. I feel drained and fatigued. I'm tried but I've been feeling awful like this for the last three years since I got pregnant and had my kid. I'm only starting to realize the devastation that organ failure and dying along with my last minute high risk pregnancy was. 

  I never had a problem with over weight issues until after I had a kid and all of my health problems can be attributed to pregnancy and death. I don't even eat a lot. I'm not a fast food person. I control my portions... I'm sad because I was told recently that all of my health problems are attributed to getting pregnant, that it wrought destruction on my body beside the genetic pre-dispositions. Is this going to be my life? I'm quickly dying in the last three years. Some things which take decades to develop showing up rapid fire on me...

  I guess if we are going to try and to be positive and glass half full. I supposed its great that I kept the weight off and didn't gain it back, plus lost some even if it was a small amount. Glass half-full went for a long hike yesterday bush wacking up a steep mountain. 

  But seriously what next? What do I do? I feel like the quality of my life is circling the drain way before I've had a chance to start life. I'm tried of being and feeling exhausted and having to push through a wall. As if depression doesn't cause enough problems with fatigue. 

  I guess all I can do is keep trying but am I not doing it fast enough? I'm not even that fat. I weighed in at 169 today which means I lost 11 pounds from my post-partum. I am considered obese to medical standards but... and I mean no offense to anyone. Look at the rest of America. I'm like the new small and its kind of sad. :/ And I earned mine through pregnancy complications and swelling from hypertension not through garbage eating habits. 

  I guess I needed to vent and I'm frustrated with the perma headache that I have. I guess I need to just get more aggressive. 

  I need to go sit in a corner for a while... or clean...

Edit: If anyone is curious...…
  Disclaimer: I'm not claiming to be expert, this is where I am at in my learning process and I am just sharing it with you guys since it seems to be a major topic of discussion. I would rate myself a novice at giving critiques still with much to learn.

    It's and art, a craft unto itself that takes time and mastering just like art or writing. Anything for that matter in life. If you apply yourself to learning a skill set it goes without say that you will go through the novice stages of development, it's only normal. We must struggle and meet resistance in order to grow or learn. With that being said. I made a status the other night talking about how I was going to put a journal out about feedback. I had a friend who had received a comment or a piece of feedback that had at first hurt her feelings. I've been there, I'd be lying if I said I hadn't. So I thought about it and we got to talking and I couldn't help but want to re-share some of this advice. It is advice that was given to me and that I have expended on of the years. 

  Before we get to it I want to highlight some points of discussion here quickly. We will talk about:
  • Giving effective feedback.
  • Receiving feedback.
  • How to utilize feedback to your benefit.
  • How to thicken your hide.

  Before we get to these points, I want to share a story with you. I joined a group called :iconprojectcomment: a while back before I tore my artwork down from art theft. Everyone who knows the story behind this knows how devastating that was to my confidence and my trust as an artist in this community but I need to move on and come back in order to grow and learn. I didn't want to cut myself off from a potential assets. Speaking of assets, ProjectComment can be a very great asset to those of you who wish to improve your art. 

  Anyway, I learned that taking my art down cost me all that hard work that I put into that group. I can no longer look back on that feedback as the comments have been removed along with the art's original posting. Lesson one knee-jerk reactions are bad reactions. I know I said that it wasn't, but as I come to look back on it, it was. It wrong for so many reasons. I still stand by what I said though in an earlier journal. I will not recant it. 

  This brings me to an opportunity that arose from a piece of art that I had posted. I had actually made a friend because of this piece of feedback, so my side of the story may surprise them since they are getting information they hadn't previously had during that conversation or after the fact. The piece I submitted was Crystal Magnum. The critique literally killed me. I wanted to cry. It hurt my feelings and it devastated me, to be accused of not understanding the female form. This was the initial thought, At first I was just going to say thank you for taking the time to give me feedback and move on and ignore it. (Take it like a boss. How to thicken your hide 101.)

  Instead I found myself sitting on it for an hour before I felt myself wanting to get defensive. Then I re-read over the comment. It was apparent I had made quite a few mistake while posting my art. The commenter hadn't had the full picture or scope of what I was after or achieving. Instead of getting defensive I decided to open up a dialogue. To use it as a learning experience.

  Mistake one, I didn't post in my description enough information as to what I was doing or trying to achieve. I didn't talk about the fact that I had used several references from real life. I didn't have to credit anyone since they were my own references.

   Mistake 2 I failed to mention in my description that I was learning to draw a burlesque body type. Many people need education on this type of body or it can be mistaken for unrealistic art. While the body is unrealistic and unnatural that doesn't mean there aren't unnatural means to change our bodies.

   Another factor that isn't really anyone's business but needed to be brought up. Was that I do understand breasts and how they work, I'm a mom. I breast fed. Or tried too... People often jump on the fact and assume, since many young people use this site (teens) that automatically qualifies me as one which means I know nothing of sex or body mechanics. Errrr! *Buzzer* Wrong! Way wrong, you should never assume. Being a teen doesn't disqualify you from knowing about sex, many teens do it. I really don't condone it though. Too many problems can arise and the mind isn't mentally prepared to accept the consequences.

  I chose to forgive it and I took the tact to use this opportunity to teach a fellow artist. First things first, people alter their bodies all the time, be it hair dying, surgery, or piercing and tattooing. Does it make it right? I don't know it depends on your perspective on the subject but that's not here nor there. I drew a body that could only be achieved through altering by what they call body training with corsets and surgery. 

  There was a point about breasts that was brought up. I was told that my nipples were too small for the breast size. How do we know she's not cold? I'm not trying to be crass there. Also breast shapes take on many forms. Did you know that the human body is naturally asymmetrical? Asymmetry is natures response to growth, development, and life. Symmetry is a human concept. So this by extension may come to be a shock for a lot of people but many women on average have varied cup shapes between breasts and are asymmetrical by nature. Some of us stuff padding in to hide it if its really noticeable. Not to say that there aren't even cupped women out there. Also with all this in mind yes woman can have small nipples and large breasts, or even small breasts and large nipples. The human body varies by our genetics. We sometimes don't see this because of the media and the human need or desire to chase perfection or symmetry. 

  My waist came into question obviously but defer back to earlier on surgery. These women will go to extremes to remove ribs! 

  I posted this piece to that group before I deleted it during the blow out... I posted it knowing there were flaws in it. I can see them and point them out. The hand on the leg is smaller and needs to be increased in size. Her face needs work. Etc... I was able to take the feedback on the obvious flaws.

  Which brings me to my points...

  Giving Effective Feedback:
  This takes a lot of practice, so for those of you receiving feedback, you need to be understanding that not everyone is going to be effective or know how to give feedback properly at first. They don't always mean to hurt feelings or offend. It's part of learning a new skill. You will be in this category to, everyone is when they start off. This is why we need to be forgiving of others. We will make the same mistake and hurt feelings too.

   This was on a writing forum that I had ultimately started applying to other aspects of my life. "You won't always be able to answer each of these in detail, but the more effort you invest in answering these questions, the more useful your critique is to the writer. More to the point, the thought process involved helps you improve your own writing in the revision phase."…

  Meaning the more you apply yourself to giving feedback to others the more you are able to use critical thinking, observation, and analysis in your own work. Your sharpening your mind and a skill, refining your eye. In other words don't half-ass critiques it only hurts you in the end.

  Giving effective feedback means asking yourself questions about the work. What needs improvement and how can you help this person improve? This is just an example question. So lets say someone needs improvement on anatomy or shading. You would point out in a neutral or encouraging way they need improvement in these area's, but take it a step further tell them how they can or provide resources so they can learn. Don't just say you need improvement here and walk away. Give them a reason why they need to look at this area. You would do this with each area you choose.

  Using the same piece below an effective feedback example would look like this: 

 Crystal Magnum by LadySeshiiria

  Hi username, I saw that you would like a critique on this piece...

  I really like how you shaded her boots you can tell she is wearing real pleather, and the shading in her hair and skin is really even too.

  I see that your struggling with hands especially the one on the leg is too small and needs improvement, I would suggest enlarging it so that it is in proportion to the rest of her body. There are golden ratio's you can follow and tips to ensure you get hands the correct size. Here is a (link) or a (tutorial) to help you. A cheater rule I learned with hands is to make sure the hand is roughly about the size of a persons face.

  I really like the way you did the background and used different blending techniques and textures. I see that you used erasing to provide highlights and also used your smudged finger to provide textured dotting.

  I see you still need work on shading in some ares though. The gauntlet could use more lighting since there is fire in her hand. May I suggest fire lighting studies? The fire would affect how the gauntlet and the face are shaded based on its intensity and its size and well with other lighting in the subject space taken into account.



  Thank you for giving me the chance to critique this piece, and I wish you the best of luck on your art journey! I hope I was able to provide helpful information.

  Okay so the idea is to provide effective feedback. As you can see I need work on both my art and my feedback application still. I'm not going to pretend that was perfect. Point is we are all learning and will continue to be learning. So we are all in different points in our progress and need to be understanding of it.

  An effective feedback or critique giver picks two or three things to focus on. I tried to keep it to shading, anatomy, and texture. With each piece of feedback you give, a compliment to the work should also be given. What this does is give the person a break in between each critique to absorb what they just read without overloading them with negatives. It gives them encouragement and also help boost confidence. It is important to point out what people do right so the can build upon it and build self-confidence. 

  You should always close a proper critique on a positive note, think of it like writing a resume or a cover letter, or even a thank you to an employer. We need to be encouraging and thankful for the opportunity to give the feedback. Close it up with positivity, because we don't want to waist our time or theirs!

  Receiving Feedback:

  Okay I just gave my older self some feedback, kind of hurts to be honest with myself. I see a lot more wrong with that piece then I typed up. One being shading metal. Anyway, when receiving feedback it is also good practice to engage the people that take the time to give it too you. Do not dismiss them with a thank you and move on. It's hella rude. They took the time to engage you so by fair extension you do the same. Don't just give a simple thank you but be well thought out in your thank you.

  For example:

  Thank you username for taking the time to visit my profile and browse my art. I am also grateful for the time you took to give me feedback on this piece. I found your critique to be helpful and I will take a look at your resources and tips and try to see if I can't apply them. Wish me luck!

  If you want to you can use the thank you as a way to open up further communication.

For example:

  Thank you username for taking the time to visit my profile and browse my art. I am also grateful for the time you took to give me feedback on this piece. I found your critique to be helpful and I will take a look at your resources and tips and try to see if I can't apply them. I do have a question though, I feel I am struggling with metal shading do you have any tips on this as well?

  Open that dialogue and learn! Use it as a spring board for your success this person just became an asset use them! Which brings me to...

  How to utilize feedback:

  How do we utilize the feedback we get from people to the full extent we can? Well for starters we apply the persons feedback to our artwork. I suggest going through an re-reading our comments from time to time to see if we are improving. So lets say you got a recent feedback, and there is a lot of information. Pick one and work on that then move on to the next item.

  Use those tips and tutorials people spend time looking for and posting in their comments. And I mean it, I have tutorials I've saved and I know where they are bookmarked but it doesn't mean that it doesn't take me time to sift through things and find what I am posting to you. I don't just randomly type into the search engine and post something. If I have a special tutorial in mind I may have to track it down and it takes work. The best thank you, you can give someone is to use the tools they give you.

  Utilizing feedback also means learning to accept that you aren't perfect and need work on things. This means taking the negative in stride and putting your game face on even if the truth hurts. This mean you will be spending hours, days, weeks, and in some cases years practicing. Yes, art can be a lifelong journey and it is. If you aren't learning in your old age you aren't growing as an individual.

  You need to be willing to put effort and time into your craft, but also understand their will be successes and failures. Be a glass half-full person and celebrate your successes.

  And lastly...

   How to thicken your hide:

Everything takes practice, even the art of accepting a critique. They suck really bad at first when we are beginners and sometimes even still as advanced artists. I hear in college people rip each other apart. The thing is you can't thicken your hide if you don't subject yourself to criticism. Just like I can't overcome depression or social anxiety with out doing what is required of me to get better. Meaning I have to get out and talk to people and throw myself in social situations. The more you do it the easier it gets and the less you suffer from anxiety. Soon things become easy. Same goes for accepting criticism. The more you engage in it the more likely you are to be successful and if you keep this end goal in mind it will help you. 

  It's like a muscle we have to develop. I was and am still a fairly emotional and sensitive person. I get made fun of for it and have been literally tortured because of it. The trick is to learn how to let some things just go in one ear and out the other and its wicked hard. If it hurts your feelings and isn't provided in the nicest light or comes off as demeaning or voluntarily condescending forget it thank the person nicely and move on. Sometimes they are trolls. Don't engage them. 

  So lets say you get a "your art sucks" comment. Here is where you get to learn how to be the bigger person. You can choose to ignore the comment and leave it up so people see it. Yes leave your comments up even the negative, freedom of speech baby! Best part is it also outs the person as negative and people see this and will avoid communicating with said person. So don't hide those mean comments! Benefit yourself and the community.

  Secondly you can also respond but don't be defensive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, or snide. Don't start a fight. Just be nice and kill them with kindness. For example you could say "Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to look at this piece, I really appreciate it." and leave it at that. Seriously. Here is the thing, the person took the TIME to look at your work and comment on it even if it was negative. You can look at this in one of two ways.  One you can take it as you need to improve and move on from the negativity, or you can look at like this, the poor fool wasted their TIME making that comment looking for a fight they won't get. Let them waste their time not yours. Yours can be used more effectively. 

  If they try to pick a fight further, just ignore the comments and leave them up, if you delete or hide them that means they win. If they keep pestering you ignore and block move on. That was what that lovely function was designed for.

    Also as an after thought here. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, so your always going to get that one asshole. It's part of the right to free speech. You may not like it but you have to respect it. You wouldn't want your right to free speech taken away so don't take theirs away. Two way tolerance.

  Remember in order to thicken your hide you need to embrace the fact that you have to expose yourself to what makes you uncomfortable. 

  Thank you everyone and remember the art of feedback is an ongoing learning experience and the only way to give and receive feedback effectively is to exercise that muscle. Go out there and participate!

    So there is a half hour to go and I am literally praying that I get chosen for this, I really want to improve my life circumstances and unfortunately am in a bad position and anything would help me at this point. I have the potential to get a job and have my schooling paid for me through this job with their help and improve my earning potential. I posted 4 different grant projects but I am leaning more towards $2800.00 Costume Department Resume Pieces, so I can work for the Festival. I will though take a computer at the very least so that I can use it to do commission work to earn money to increase skill sets in other departments if I have to. I plan on moving to Cedar City here soon in the future and I'm going to make it happen no matter what.

    The Necromancer will be one piece I will use for my resume. I have a couple more projects I would like to do that expand on costuming and prop making so that I can have a high chance of obtaining further education.
  • Listening to: Computer Noises
  • Reading: About Intrigue
  So I don't care how desperate this makes me look. I am pretty desperate. lol If we are going to do Devious Dreams we may as well be honest. I noticed a lot of people want a new computer so I feel I will get drowned out if I don't take a different approach. So to show everyone how desperate I am for a new computer here is a sound clip of my pc as its only running deviant art in the Devious Dreams comment thread. It's only 50 seconds long but the whole 50 seconds gives you and idea of the range of weird it has.…

  Also this gives you an idea as to why I say I can't run gimp and do digital in it. I'm  stuck to writing, and surfing. I have to keep my file small while working.

  And if I can't get a grant do you have any suggestions as to how I can come by donations or something. I'm on a shoe string budget to the point where I have to go to the local church for food sometimes, even despite being on food stamps. I literally do necessities before wants and its been this way and should be this way. We are in the process of trying to get my hubby on disability for his brain injury so we aren't in the best of places currently.

Comment can be found:…

Also for those of you that remember me talking about Cedar City and the Shakespeare Festival. I'm going for it! I'll find a way to make it happen!…
  • Listening to: Computer Noises
  • Reading: About Intrigue
    I thought I'd share something with you guys for those of you who watch me for writing resources and such. Part of good planning I have found is being mega organized. I don't know if you guys end up with large file structures when you write or plan your universes. So I thought I'd share some screenshots of my file structure as a way to help give some of you ideas on how to better organize. 

    So I have my base folder on my desktop which contains a simple structure for the base of my writing. By the way, before you ask, I know that my computer has it's foot in the grave and some of you are wondering. "Oh have you backed up your work?" Yes, yes I have. In like four places. And I continue to update it as I go. Also most of it is in hard copy form and is just being transferred to a digital format. A good way to stay organized as well.

    File structure 1 by LadySeshiiria

    And yes I succeeded the 50k 2018 my first Nanowrimo goal and won! :D Go me! I can crank out a 15k report but 50k wasn't as easy as I had anticipated. I would highly recommend checking out the site because the support on there is amazing. It's also a good way to make goals and stick to them with buddies.

    Anyway, I know it doesn't look like much but I will take you in a bit further and it will seem daunting to some of you how much planning goes into this kind of stuff.

File structure 2 by LadySeshiiria

    Still seems a bit lacking lol... And then... BOOM!!! WWE - Shocked/Wow 

File structure 4 by LadySeshiiria

    Yes and you should also see the loads of world building files and research in those folders, but everything has a place and stays organized for quick referencing. So I know some of you out there feel completely at a loss when trying to find a starting point. When I started going through my story verse folders a few years ago, nothing was organized in the least and I had to sift through it for hours and days at a time trying to make sense of my old work. I had to establish a system of how I was going to approach working on it. So I created my file structures and gave myself starting points and worked in areas until I couldn't to a point and moved to the next one until I could come back to them. Finish sorting what you can and adding what you can and move, the idea is to keep pace and keep putting stuff down and not getting hung up on every little detail. The details come later.

    My actual writing folders aside from nanowrimo which remains separate...Mio (Pointing) [V2] 

File structure 3 by LadySeshiiria

    Simplicity to keep things easy to find. Not everything needs to be that big, some things can remain small too, and its okay. The point here is a good file structure will lend some much needed help in your organization and your ability to quick draw information for your writing. It's a good way to keep things consistent.

    Could my structure use improvement? Yes, probably. And I do repair it as I go. When I need to, I adapt. I know this wasn't much of a journal but I hope that it will help some of you to see how to work more efficiently in your writing and research process. Thank you for reading.


  • Listening to: Computer Noises
  • Reading: About Intrigue
  • Eating: Going to be making dinner...