The end?

I'm probably won't be active in the FNAF fandom at all from now on. I was thinking about rewriting and continuing the controversial Fnaf fafic that started it all, but just thinking on it gives me anxiety attacks. I originally wanted to write it until PG dies (and those who accuse me of drawing killing children... I killed their killer a lot more than his victims).

I'm not a groomer. I'm not a pedophile. I talked about the fanfic with young fans and allowed them to read it, which wasn't right. Some, like PhantomFoxy aka Freb00 was literally obsessed with me and sent me a lot of messages, and I sadly interacted with her a lot.

 I have no sexual interest in children though, it disgusts me that total strangers of the other end of the world think of me like that. I grew up as the eldest sister of 3 younger siblings and later two stepsiblings. I always had younger kids around and I got tired of them I guess, didn't want to have kids around as an adult. I'm only interested in guys older than me, and even then, I  have a very low sexdrive, I might be asexual (I'm not completely sure what this term covers).

I haven't touched the fanfic when I finished it, and rereading it recently yeeeah... it was a lot more dark and disturbing than I remembered. It was 65 pages long and 6 from it was filled

with violence (and there were some description of erection and masturbation, which real serial killers often do while killing or thinking of killing). Those should be shortened or completely left out, I see it now. I wanted to write a character study of a killer and his victims, which ended up being a lot more disturbing than I intended. I wanted to write a realistic and interesting story which a lot of people loved (over 10k on Fanfiction.net), but also I hurt many who shouldn't read such dark stuff. Or at least I should have warned them. I really regret it now.

Some says it was "disturbing how personal the killers feeling was written, like she herself enjoys it" = pedo. Wrong: I wrote several shorter stories before, only in my native language though, and I ALWAYS immerse myself into the perspective of the main character. It might be one of my autistic traits (yes I am on the spectrum, as well having mental and physical disabilities), might be normal, but when I write, I feel like the point of view character is part of me, until I finish the story. I had main characters like an orphan girl raised by a witch trying to find her parents killer, assassin with lovecraftian upbringing, young woman who visits a mysterious old man and stands her ground against his weirdness, silly wizard who thinks too high of himself etc. So this Fnaf story is not an ode to my dark desires, all who see child erotica everywhere are the perverts themselves.

Also those who call me a transphobe: I'm not anymore. I might be 7 years ago when the concept was new to me, but I'm a lot more educated in this topic and even two friend of mine came out to me as LGBT (which they was afraid to tell me before, it made me really ashamed of myself). I'm still learning about genders and sexualities, it's not a simple topic. I truly regret my harsh words back then.

I hope the haters who believe everything they read on Twitter and willing to tell to a stranger to 'kill themselves' and call them 'pedophilic whore' will learn some day that they were wrong too. At this point, I'm really disgusted with the FNAF community but I chuckle at the thought that all who hates my arts don't realize that there are more stuff I made right before their eyes but they don't realize it was made by an 'untalented whore'...