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i almost drowned a few years back that december.
you were making waves before i even hit the water
on a hill in hartford and elsewhere out east.
it's crazy to think we never would meet if it weren't for me
losing my cool and now i can't kick it, but fuck it.
it's as if it we're meant to be and you were meant for me;
both broken, we push it, and smile, and bullshit.

sometimes i skip rocks and she sings songs.

the tide turned sometime when you hit a different dialect,
a different tongue, my stomach turned, lines blurred,
i wanted to run or at least push myself into the pool.
sink or swim, crash and burn,
it's all the same, i live and learn,
but what's there to gain when the mistake isn't mine
and i'm still doing time staring at the water,
staring at the water,
staring at the water, i remember
i almost drowned a few years back.
28 may 2013
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Daily Deviation

Given 2013-06-30
Read the water by ~lacesoutvic for the "powerful story hiding behind the staggered rhythm and clever enjambment" (suggester's words). ( Suggested by intricately-ordinary and Featured by neurotype )
:iconbrain-tree:
brain-tree Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2013   General Artist
Goddamned wonderful writing.  It takes a while for this to sink in fully, but in this case it's a wonderful thing.  I like the honest and simplistic tone in your diction.  Definitely watching you!
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:iconlacesoutvic:
lacesoutvic Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2013
i appreciate it, thanks. i don't write too often but sometimes something good comes out haha.
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:iconpatrikia-bear:
Patrikia-Bear Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I love the images it puts in my brain... Like it's someone preparing to drown themselves in the sea and they're remembering how they were prevented last time.

Like they regretted that they let themselves be saved.
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:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Student General Artist
I love the simplistic at first yet deep feel of this poem. It's wonderful! :huggle:
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:iconthegalleryofeve:
TheGalleryOfEve Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Congratulations on your well-deserved DD!!! :iconflyingheartsplz::iconlainloveplz::iconflyingheartsplz: :clap::clap::clap:
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:iconanila73:
anila73 Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Feels.
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:iconmichaelaforbus:
michaelaforbus Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Student Photographer
Fantastic piece. Congrats on the DD :rose:
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:iconeyeamlove:
EyeAmLove Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Student General Artist
<3 this is my new obsession
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:iconlollirotcat:
lollirotcat Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Student Writer
I love this! :heart: congrats on the DD! ^_^
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:iconschneefuechsin:
Schneefuechsin Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Congratulations on the DD! :hug:
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:iconthrashmetallix:
ThrashMetallix Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Nice and brutal...
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:iconthe-chemical-factory:
the-chemical-factory Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
i love this, the flow is wonderful :heart:
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:iconchala101:
Chala101 Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013
amazing...
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:iconrayckro:
Rayckro Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013
Congratulation on the Daily Deviation! :D
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:iconharashe:
harashe Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013
I thought it was a song when I was reading it. It flows so well!
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:icontruthistruth:
TruthisTruth Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Student Writer
Beautiful. :clap: I wish modern songs had lyrics like this.
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:iconnosedivve:
nosedivve Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013   Writer
The flow of this is so lyrical-like. I bet this would make a lovely slam poem. Have you ever read it out loud?

I adore the repetition a the end and how you brought it back to the beginning. The punctuation is used so well here (many have problems with this) as well as the line breaks. This is truly a wonderful poem.

Congrats on the well-deserved DD feature. :heart: 
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:iconlacesoutvic:
lacesoutvic Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013
i actually had slam poetry on my mind, and that influenced the flow in this. i haven't performed it but i did read it out loud as i wrote it.

thanks for the kind words!
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:iconnosedivve:
nosedivve Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2013   Writer
wow, that's really awesome!! you should preform it, if you want to of course. :hug: 

you're most welcome! 
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:iconlintu47:
Lintu47 Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
    Congrats on the DD! :dalove:
    Have a nice day! :heart:
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