Crapcrapcrapcrap. Why does shit like this always happen? This is total bullshit. It was supposed to be a simple job, in and out, just like always. But noooooo, I just had to trip that stupid fucking alarm like some kind of ameture, didn’t I? I am Xel motherfucking Lovestar for fucks sake, I hold myself to a much higher standard than this.
I barely had more than a few seconds to use my Black Hole Bag (trademark pending) to clean out the main treasure room before I had to get out. Things went tits up from there when, apparently, the entire royal guard decided it was their solemn duty to ruin my day, a duty they were fulfilling quite admirably. On top of this, the security system here seemed to include a heavy duty magic dampener, rendering my centuries of magical knowledge pointless.
The ornate sculpture of the palace’s architecture sped by me as I barreled down the hall, skidding around a corner and down what had to be the most stupidly long corridor I had ever seen. Not onl