So, it's a new year and I want to finally get myself together so I can be creative again. I'm thinking of posting little odds and ends when I feel like it, maybe a bit of my projects, maybe some written works, maybe a doodle or two. I'm hoping that by sharing my works with the few who do see it will bring back my confidence and help lower my depression.
Now, the whole reason I'm making this journal is to give everyone a heads up before I start posting again. I've done a lot of growing over the last year, I've had really bad days that rattled my mental state, but nothing serious, or at least, nothing that required a hospital or psychiatric ward, and I want to find a better way to let out the gunk that's built up so another bad day won't send me into a downward spiral.
My works, like writing, drawings, or my horrible attempts at poetry, are going to be dark. They will be grotesque and graphic, I won't hold back or censor myself, but I will put the appropriate tags and warnings so no one reads something that they shouldn't. I am becoming more comfortable with myself, with my likes, and with the style of my creativity that I've tried to suppress for years, so don't be surprised if something of mine pops up and it's a macabre piece of blood, bone, and blackness.
With that out of the way, I'm going to say this - whatever I may post in my gallery is not for any cause or concern. I am not suicidal, I am not going to harm myself in a way that would require a trip to the ER, nor am I seeking attention or sympathy; I merely want to start expressing the side of me that I've kept in a box for far too long.
I'm seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist, I am taking the medications that I need, I live with two amazing roommates, and keep in contact with my best friend on an almost daily basis. I have people I can turn to if it gets to be too much for me, I have resources that I can get easily; so please, don't worry.
I just wanted to inform those who watch me or look at my gallery from time to time that what may come in the future isn't a cry for help, but just me expressing what I couldn't before.
Thank you so much for reading this and I hope only good things come your way in 2019.