I haven't posted here in, like, 4 years.

And I only KNOW that it's been four years because my last "Journal" entry mentions that I'm about to turn 40. And I'm currently 44. And my brain is still capable of doing basic math. (Only just.)

So, new info... well, you may have noticed from my latest "Status" thingy on here that I had some personal revelations and decided "Y'know, all those times you kept thinking about being a girl, maybe that actually had some sort of, I dunno, REASONING BEHIND IT."

Turns out cis guys actually DON'T have daydreams where they fall into the nannichuan a la Ranma 1/2, or similar scenarios. Who knew?

Sadly, despite living in Illinois and having access to massively simple ways to do things like mess with the gender marker on my driver's license, or get access to hrt via informed consent, I haven't even done so much as shave my pits. Because I live with my parents. And I have heart their... opinions... on Ye Olde Transgenders in the past. And present. And any time Fox News brings it up. Yeah. They watch that. *sighs*

It is, of course, much more complicated than that. Like, more complicated than I could go into here-- especially the stuff about why a 44-year-old is still living with their parents (a lot of it involves medical issues on everyone's parts and trying to take care of them).

But... it looks like for the time being, and possibly for quite a while, all I get to do is have my revelations and such online. This is of course causing a lot of second-guessing and "feeling not trans enough" problems, stuff like that. Only coming from myself, of course. Everyone is being supportive EXCEPT for me. I don't tend to like me. It's an ongoing issue.

Anyhoo. I'm gonna keep the Kunou78 moniker here, although I've been swapping most of my usernames out for Kurika, the nick that I use for most of my female game characters (I rarely if ever make male characters GEE THE EVIDENCE KINDA PILES UP AND IT TOOK ME UNTIL MY 40s? ARGH), but since Kunou is a clan/family name anyway, it still works. Fight me. :P

Gonna change the portrait, though. It's still up on a lot of my stuff, everywhere, since family isn't "in" on all of this, but I'm using cute Picrew pics where I can. Not face pics. I'm... not photogenic. x_x

So... yeah. That's this journal entry. Who knows, maybe by the next time I write something, I'll have a place of my own and an Instagram where I post a video of me making a skirt go spinny? Anything's possible.

Well, not anything. But lots of things. Eventually.