I'll Still Love YouMother, Mother, look into my eyes,
What do you see?
Mother, Mother, If I told you,
What would you think of me?
Would I become the black sheep?
The family taboo?
How would your love for me change
If I shared my secrets with you?
Maybe one day you'll see these words
And you'll understand
But I hope these words don't keep you from resting peacefully
In God's Promised land
I do not love your husband, this man I call "Dad"
Believe it or not, I don't do the things I do just to make him mad
My dislike for the majority of men stems from him
His words and ways make my future with a man seem rather dim
I mean really, tell me the truth, does he really love me?
If it were up to him, he'd leave us for the Army
Mother, Mother, these words are painful
But I wanted to tell you this
Before I have to go
Remember the night you tried to make me promise not to go down that road?
Well thankfully, I distracted you so I wouldn't have to say "no"
The truth is, I like girls as much as boys if not more
This ConfusionCloser and closer
I beg my lips to remain sealed
So easy it would be to let it slip
And let my confusion consume me
I sit in the pews and feel the internal fight
What to do?
In public I am fighting between two beliefs and it's tearing me apart
My religion crumbling as my heart bleeds
What to tell others?
I stand in my beliefs. I stand on thin ice.
How to find balance when fires lick at my base
One side of me is bitten and worn by their disapproval
How do I continue?
Home is no rest either
As they do not like the other side of me.
Water is boiled at school
Fire is doused at home
My soul splits
My head hurts
My heart aches
How do I balance this?
Confusion devours my brain as I search for balance
My heart and my loves are shaken
But so is my belief and church
How am I going to manage this?
I've shaken a fist at my God
And I'm keeping my heart under a cushion
I'm scared of my family's reaction
And weary of my friend's as well
Two voices arguing in my head
Why won't they stop?
There's no ne