My great-grandfather used to tell me, "Don't chase after kangaroos because you'll only end up with a cartographer in your duodenum." I never quite understood his advice until one Festivus, I was gardening with my best friend Lula. All of a sudden, we found an underground tunnel! It was incandescent and spooky sounds came from deep within. Lula saw something interesting inside, jumped in, and I never saw her again. Great-granddaddy was right!