Made it 39 Years/Hellish Year Update

5 min read
KrisSmithDW's avatar
By KrisSmithDW
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So yes, I'm 39 years old now and yes, I've been M.I.A. for a while.

Oh man, where to begin...

Okay spring 2019 I guess. last we talked would have been a year ago on my 38th birthday. By about the month after that I got really sick, and it lasted like a while, couple months, the summer was pretty much dunzo, insane fever I couldn't kick. I think it was into the end of July before I was back to normal. Was kinda busy at home for a bit as the summer ended and autumn started up, but then...

...IT happened. November. I get this insane sinus infection that I can't kick for a while. Around the same time I started noticing odd spots in my right eye. Which continued to get worse until my vision was distorted in spots and had these awful dark shadow blotchy things blocking off chunks of my vision, it was terrifying, I didn't know what was wrong, I was still getting over that sinus infection, I had one of the worst nervous breakdowns I've ever had, I was worried I would lose my vision totally, I couldn't even look at a computer screen the eye strain it was causing was insane. It was a nightmare, I didn't know what was wrong with me, thought it was going to turn out I was dying or had something really bad, y'know, the types of things someone with severe anxiery disorders like me just dreams of nightly, lol.

What it turned out to be was a hemorrhage in the back of my eye, where you see through. It's like a vein blockage or something that causes it and it bleeds into the fluid at the back that you see through. It kept filling with blood causing my vision to go bye-bye in that eye.

Now, this type of hemorrhage does go away on its own, the blood is absorbed and eventually vision goes back to normal, the worse it is the longer it takes. BUT. Mine did not stop hemorrhaging, so it just kept filling up faster than it could go away. I had to get a barrage of tests done, blood tests for everything including rare stuff, neck ultrasounds, optic nerve scans, all kinds of stuff. Turns out everything is fine except one thing: Hypertension. I have inherited my Mother's early onset high blood pressure problems (ie: caused by literally nothing I can control myself) which is a very common cause of what happened to my eye. Although its normally more common in senior citizens.

So I had to sit until later on in January to see if it would go away with my blood pressure now under control. I did not, it got worse until all I could see was light and shadow, terrifying the shit out of me even more (would my eye burst eventually? Would they have to remove it? etc etc). Now I did rock a pirate patch for a while to try and only use the one good eye for a while and that sorta helped, I could at least play video games again. But when they tested the eye and went from being able to read most things around the blocked spots, I now couldn't even read the letters when it was just one big giant "E" on the screen. Clearly it wasn't going away on its own, which meant the only way to fix it was with...

...needles. in the eye.

Three of them, no less. A month apart. I just got the final one about 2 weeks ago or so. So basically the last bunch of months have been just lost, I've only recently been getting back into art stuff again successfully since last month or so as the eye improves (it still has distorted spots but I dont really notice it anymore when using both eyes) and hopefully it goes totally back to normal, but at least I'm functional again. The blood pressure meds work FANTASTICALLY and there is a physical calmness I can't explain (specifically in the heart region) since I started using them and my blood pressure numbers are amazing, so it looks like I'll be on them for the long run.

So yay, everything's back to normal now, right?


My city is effectively in lockdown until AT LEAST the end of May as the virus spreads rapidly. Somehow I don't think it's going to be lifted by then.

But, I can do art and play video games here while in quarantine. I've gone full-on Boglin mode, just hiding in the dark and eating trash. Although my brother did manage to get a selection of local craft beers delivered to me for my birthday so I can sit here and drink alone, lol :P

So yeah, I know all of you are all going through this pandemic thing as well, seeing as it's pretty worldwide at this point, so I hope you are all doing well, staying safe, and keeping healthy! Hang in there, we're all in this together!

- Kris

© 2020 KrisSmithDW
anonymous's avatar
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M4ttne55's avatar
M4ttne55Hobbyist Digital Artist
Been battling high blood pressure myself, and so I can identify with some of the things you've been going through in THAT regards.  I very much so commend your fighting spirit, and though things look rather messed up with this pandemic ( living here in self quarantine in Minnesota), I'm hopeful that not only you, but others out there make it through this thing safely.  Keep up the amazing work. :)
twincastX's avatar

Man really went through alot Kris. As for the high blood pressure. That can be taken under control. I've seen on blood pressure pills since I was 26. I'm 36 now and still do my best to maintain my blood pressure levels. Another way to keep it steady would be to eat raw garlic once a week. The garlic will clean out your cholesterol a bit but you'll be fine.

I wish you all the best!!!!!

srg1's avatar
srg1Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm sorry to hear that you had a rough year and then this pandemic happens. Hope you stay safe!
BTFly009's avatar
BTFly009Professional Digital Artist
I don't know what means MIA... But your text say all. Nice to see you recovered! Stay home, be careful and soon (I hope) all this mess will end. 🙏
KrisSmithDW's avatar
KrisSmithDWHobbyist Digital Artist

Missing In Action :)

Staying home as much as I can, only popping out once a week for necessities if I have to, but outside of that I'm inside and (hopefully, lol) safe :D

Take care and stay safe yourself! :D :D

spankpig's avatar
Christ alive man that's terrifying!! I'm really glad you made it though, even if you literally got tossed out of a frying pan and into the scorching hot fire that is 2020 so far :I
KrisSmithDW's avatar
KrisSmithDWHobbyist Digital Artist

Lol yeah, it's like I'm juuuuust about to get out of the woods and back to normal and have a nice productive 2020 and its like NOPE, here, have some Coronavirus! :P

Screamer21's avatar
Screamer21Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Oh man, I'm sorry you had a rough year. I'll keep you in my prayers about all your health stuff and anxiety. Glad to have you back! :happybounce: 
Nortstar's avatar
I wish you lots of health 
KrisSmithDW's avatar
KrisSmithDWHobbyist Digital Artist

Thank you, and to you as well! :D :D

Nortstar's avatar
you are welcome :hug:
 and Thank you :)
Smitty309's avatar
Whoa...rough stretch for you, bud.  Hope you get well soon and avoid anything having to do with this virus plague.  I would tip a Timmies you way, but haven't had one in 3 weeks due to the lockdown.  So, I owe you one when all this shite passes over.

BadMillennial's avatar
Welcome back, squire; and a happy birthday to you as well Cheers  
TheButterfly's avatar
TheButterfly Digital Artist
Happy birthday! Holy moly so much has happened to you. But you're still making it!!!!
Montross's avatar
MontrossHobbyist Writer
Happy to hear your eye is doing better. I'm no stranger to vision problems, but I can only imagine something that severe.

Glad to see you back doing the art thing. Best of luck, happy birthday, and stay safe dude.
KrisSmithDW's avatar
KrisSmithDWHobbyist Digital Artist

Yeah, I'm still trying to wrap my head around it, it's super bizarre to see so distorted out of it, it trips me out.

Thanks! Staying safe as best I can! Take care yourself!

(new art on the way, almost finished with a Skeletor to go with that He-Man!)

Montross's avatar
MontrossHobbyist Writer
KrytenMarkGen-0's avatar
KrytenMarkGen-0Hobbyist Artist
Well, at least you're still alive, so that's what matters. ^.^ Oh, and hope you had a great Birthday yesterday also. :)
lady-cybercat's avatar
lady-cybercatProfessional Traditional Artist
Yikes that had to have been terrifying!! Glad you are doing slightly better now!
lGrungeWerXl's avatar
lGrungeWerXlProfessional Filmographer
WOW man. I read all of that and I totally felt your fear and despair. All I can do is thank God that everything worked out for you. I'm REALLY, ELATED, that you were able to relieve the eye problem and also get your blood pressure under control. And I'm REALLY happy that you're even interested in doing some art again. I was wondering what happened to you, but this more than explains the time away you've spent and it also ends with great news and an uplifting, positive attitude. Thanks for sharing your pain and hardships with us, and also for giving some people hope who might be experiencing the same problems and symptoms. I pray you have a quick and complete recovery and you're able to do all of the things you most enjoy in life. I'll be watching as always and wishing for your best!

Take care and talk again soon. :)
KrisSmithDW's avatar
KrisSmithDWHobbyist Digital Artist

Thank you kindly! And good to hear from you too, glad you're still kickin' around here on dA :D :D yeah, it's just been one thing after another, but I'm glad to be back and (so far) on the road to recovery. I mean its not far off from normal, like if they said "this is as good as it will get" I could live with it at this point without issue. But hopefully in a few months it will be totally just normal again.

Take care and stay safe! :D :D

lGrungeWerXl's avatar
lGrungeWerXlProfessional Filmographer
Thanks! And you as well, my friend! :D
JohnnyFive81's avatar
JohnnyFive81Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Sounds like you had a rough time recently, but glad to see you're okay now!
G-for-Galdelico's avatar
G-for-GaldelicoHobbyist Digital Artist
Wow, that was almost physically painful to read... So glad all that is past and that you're better, now.

You too, take care of yourself and keep up the Boglin mode until it's all over, pal.
anonymous's avatar
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