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About Varied / Hobbyist Alita JeanOther/United States Recent Activity
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Overcoming dysphoria by Kosmic-Stardust
Mature content
Overcoming dysphoria :iconkosmic-stardust:Kosmic-Stardust 0 0
Four months on female hormones, so far so good... by Kosmic-Stardust Four months on female hormones, so far so good... :iconkosmic-stardust:Kosmic-Stardust 0 0 Soulmates by Kosmic-Stardust Soulmates :iconkosmic-stardust:Kosmic-Stardust 2 0 Just grow a pair already... by Kosmic-Stardust
Mature content
Just grow a pair already... :iconkosmic-stardust:Kosmic-Stardust 1 0
The face behind Kozmic Stardust by Kosmic-Stardust The face behind Kozmic Stardust :iconkosmic-stardust:Kosmic-Stardust 0 1 Waterfall by Kosmic-Stardust Waterfall :iconkosmic-stardust:Kosmic-Stardust 1 0 Paula and AJ by Kosmic-Stardust Paula and AJ :iconkosmic-stardust:Kosmic-Stardust 2 0 Edge of Terra Firma by Kosmic-Stardust Edge of Terra Firma :iconkosmic-stardust:Kosmic-Stardust 0 0 Love Triangle Heart Vase by Kosmic-Stardust Love Triangle Heart Vase :iconkosmic-stardust:Kosmic-Stardust 2 0 Two Fused Hearts and Arrow by Kosmic-Stardust Two Fused Hearts and Arrow :iconkosmic-stardust:Kosmic-Stardust 0 0 Mermaid III detail by Kosmic-Stardust
Mature content
Mermaid III detail :iconkosmic-stardust:Kosmic-Stardust 1 0
Untitled, 3-piece coil sculpture by Kosmic-Stardust Untitled, 3-piece coil sculpture :iconkosmic-stardust:Kosmic-Stardust 0 0 Crying Torso Detail by Kosmic-Stardust
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Crying Torso Detail :iconkosmic-stardust:Kosmic-Stardust 0 0
Crying Torso Vase by Kosmic-Stardust
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Crying Torso Vase :iconkosmic-stardust:Kosmic-Stardust 0 0
Three-Headed Dragon by Kosmic-Stardust Three-Headed Dragon :iconkosmic-stardust:Kosmic-Stardust 0 0 Game Genie Inspired Pinch Pot by Kosmic-Stardust Game Genie Inspired Pinch Pot :iconkosmic-stardust:Kosmic-Stardust 0 0

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Activity


Overcoming dysphoria
I had to hit up the sketchpad for the first time in what feels like years. No details of refinement, just fast gestural "get my feelings out on paper" bit. Probably spent 20 minutes tops on these four pages.

Alicia Keys once sang on her debut album,

"Right now, I feel like a bird
Caged without a key
Everyone comes to stare at me
With so much joy and reverie
They don't know how I feel inside
Through my smile, I cry
They don't know what they're doing to me
Keeping me from flying
That's why I say that...

I know why the caged bird sings
Only joy comes from song
She's so rare and beautiful to others
Why not just set her free?

So she can fly, fly, fly
Spreading her wings and her song
Let her
Fly, fly fly
For the whole world to see

She's like caged bird
Fly, fly
Ooh, just let her fly
Just let her fly
Just let her fly
Spread the wings
Spread the beauty"

That song inspires me somehow. I unlocked the shackles on my inner feminine spirit, and in doing so set myself free in the process...

Yours, Alita Jean.
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Four months on female hormones, so far so good...
So people may or may not remember my previous entry about "just grow a pair?" Well progress happens. No boob shots sorry. I am too mature for that, moving away from gratuitous pics of myself.

Well the DHEA was having a steroid effect, crippling insomnia, and spiking my blood pressure, so I had to get off it. Three days later, I began to experience severe dysphoria and resumed at a lower dose.

Some internet research led me to feminizing hormone transdermal creams which are available over the counter within the United States. Not only did I sleep like a baby, but when I woke up the dysphoria was completely gone. I believe I switched in late February.

Anyway my transition has been a miracle for me. I took vacation and discovered CBD hemp oil which is sold freely in Arkansas, and slowly trickling into Louisiana despite being scheduled here.

It helps with anxiety and dysphoria, help me to relax and be just myself.

So I do two pumps of Biolabs Biestrogen 2.5 80/20 Estriol/Estradiol. That is 1mg estradiol and 4mg estriol nightly application. 20mg Progesterone cream as well. And about .25mL of pure Hemp extract oil morning and night. Good stuff.

Progesterone aids breast development and boosts labido. In males it converts to testosterone so it may hinder feminization slightly. As a nonbinary transwoman that's okay with me. I like having a penis and I like being feminine. Crazy isn't it?

So far I have lost 50 pounds and my body is very slowly developing breasts and a butt, and my abdomen is hourglassing herself. I have progressed enough to occasionally pass as female with just lipstick and clothing accessories. Nice!

I am currently waiting on the petition from the courthouse to make my name change official. And I'm going to ask the doctor to run a full hormone panel next time I see him. As well I am seeing my therapist once again after a two year hiatus, and she has affirmed me!

Who knows what I will look like in a year? Follow me @alita.jean.metamorphosis on Instagram for more updates on my progress. Also kozmic_stardust for more of my art, some of which I have neglected posting on DA because life happens.

Yours,
Alita Jean Kiss 
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deviantID

Kosmic-Stardust
Alita Jean
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
It's-a-me, Mario!

Oct 30, 2009

Current Residence: Northern LA (NOT Los Angeles; I mean the state next to Texas!)
Print preference: Giant Wall Mural
Favourite genre of music: Classic Rock, Pop (80s-present). 90s Hip Hop + R&B
Favourite style of art: Ceramic Sculpture
Shell of choice: Hermit
Wallpaper of choice: Lime Green w/ Pink Polka Dots (just kidding)
Skin of choice: My birthday suit :-D
Favourite cartoon character: Homer Simpson, Wile E. Cyote, Princess Peach
Personal Quote: "On the Road of Life, Always Look for a Rainbow at the End of Every Storm" - Mom
Interests
It's time for me to just come out of the closet. I'm a transfemale / nonbinary. I began to experience gender dysphoria for the first time around Christmas season 2018, then found out I had high blood pressure.

So I started supplementing DHEA to feminize and lose weight. It's been a miracle. I've lost 30 pounds in two months and am rigorously riding my bike, dieting, and now my body and mind feel united for the first time as she slowly transforms herself.

All my life I've been told to "Man up," and "Grow a pair." So I finally got an Associates Degree, landed a blue collar job at a local plant, but something was missing. Well, I'm "growing a pair" alright. In a few weeks I won't be able to hide her from the world anymore. 

I've said that life feel like driving a car in reverse. Hindsight is 20/20, as you can always see behind you, but never the path that follows. You just have to guess when to hit the gas, brake, or cut the wheel, and pray you do not crash and burn. But now that I've turned the car around and put it into drive, I can see clearly for the first time where I am going.

My art has always had a feminist flair to it, perhaps offering a window into my subconscious. For the first 18 years of my life, I was bullied and abused by my peers. How could other boys be such douchebags? I couldn't even comprehend it. There was something "different" about me, but I never knew what it was.

The way young boys are encouraged to compete amongst one another from a young age, to excell at everyhing, from sports, academics, to extracurricular activities. I call it "jock culture," and it is toxic on multiple levels, and further serves to reinforce the patriarchal principals on which our society was founded.

Yes, I am a feminist. Yes, I am still a biological male. But my mental gender is female, and through supplementation, my body is slowly feminizing each day. Living life with estrogen dominance has been a breath of fresh air, like viewing the world through rose-tinted nostalgia goggles.

I wake up every day in a positive mood. I have become athletic, a morning riser, my work perfomance is improved, adhd symptoms slightly better. While I haven't suffered from clinical depression in over 15 years, for the first time in my life, I have purpose, clarity.

Right now I don't give a crap what my family will think, my church, or my employer. She will reveal herself when she's ready. If shit hits the fan, so be it. I just gotta do what's right for me and take life one day at a time.

God is still my copilot. He loves all of his children regardless how they identify. Anyone who says otherwise or harbors hatred in their hearts is not of the Kingdom.

My fiance is still my sounding board, though she's not exactly thrilled with my changes, she has agreed to stay by my side. Extended close friends I've already come out to have been supportive. Many more are still in the dark.


Putting myself out on the internet like this may be fool-hearted but I don't care. I will ask that if you know me personally in real life or my family, job, or church, please respect my privacy and do not disclose this before I am ready to come out.

Sincerely yours,
Alita Jayne.

Mature Content

Just grow a pair already... by Kosmic-Stardust

  • Listening to: Tipsy Radio (Pandora)
  • Reading: Kybalion Centenary Edition
  • Watching: Bigmouth (Netflix)
  • Drinking: Naked Fruit Juice with Whey Protein

Comments


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:iconfractalmonster:
FractalMonster Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2017
:iconhappybirthdaysignplz: :iconbouquetplz: :iconcakeplz: :iconstardust4ever: :iconcakeplz: :iconbouquetplz: :iconhappybirthdaysignplz:
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:iconkosmic-stardust:
Kosmic-Stardust Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2018  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks man, appreciate the birthday wishes...
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:iconfractalmonster:
FractalMonster Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2018
My pleasure :D
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:iconfractalmonster:
FractalMonster Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2016
:wave: :iconbouquetplz: :iconcakeplz: :iconhappybirthdaysignplz: :iconstardust4ever: :iconhappybirthdaysignplz: :iconcakeplz: :iconbouquetplz: :wave:
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:icondriath:
Driath Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks for faving my artwork! I really appreciate the support! :clap:
____________________________________________________

If you liked it, and want to see more, don't forget to check out my gallery,
and watch me if you like what you see! Lots more to come. :happybounce::happybounce: :happybounce:
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:iconkosmic-stardust:
Kosmic-Stardust Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
No prob.
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:iconfrankodragon:
frankodragon Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2015
Hi from AtariAge
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:iconkosmic-stardust:
Kosmic-Stardust Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Hi main! ;)
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:iconfractalmonster:
FractalMonster Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2015
:iconbouquetplz: :iconcakeplz: :iconhappybirthdaysignplz: :iconstardust4ever: :iconhappybirthdaysignplz: :iconcakeplz: :iconbouquetplz:
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:iconkosmic-stardust:
Kosmic-Stardust Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
And a late thanks! :D
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