Teeth 'n' Claws + SeaShock: Cactus Cookout

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Kopatropa's avatar

Literature Text

Geoda Campsite

"Are we there yet, Blake? Huh, are we?" Rosko the Zangoose kept on asking.

"Did we make it, Adam?" Ralph the Electabuzz asked in a similar manner.

"WE ALREADY MADE IT TO GEODA, YOU DUMBASS!!!" The Croconaw and the Buizel yelled in unison. "NOW SHUT UP AND GO TO BED!!!" With that, they fell asleep.

Rosko and Ralph exchanged shrugs and fell asleep, too.


The next day...

The two teams, who had to share a tent due to space constraints, woke up to the sound of squawking.

Adam rubbed his eyes. "Where are we...?" He asked.

"Geoda." Blake answered.

"Geoda?! The Cacturne Cookout, Blake! The Cacturne Cookout!" Rosko cheered, jumping up and down.

Blake flinched.

"Would you keep it down?! We just woke up!"

Rosko stopped cheering and looked outside at the Nidorino in front of him. "Sor--" He started before he got interrupted.

"I don't know if you understand, but some of us are still half-asleep!" The Nidorino complained. "Plus, we're in a DESERT!!! Your pep is completely out of place here!"

Blake immediately stepped outside to defend the cat ferret. "Who the hell do you think you are, yelling at an innocent idiot?!" He yelled. Then, he started mocking the Nidorino. "I'm not sure if you understand, punk, but some of us had a rough time in the dungeon! Your attitude is completely out of place here!" He grabbed Ralph. "Shock this son of a bitch!"

Instead of listening to the Croconaw, the Electabuzz walked away.

"This isn't over!" The Nidorino glared at Blake as he left.

"Geez, thanks, Blake." Rosko sweatdropped.

Blake shrugged.

Ralph stepped outside. "We've only met last night, but I was thinking about helping out with the cookout tonight. You interested?" The Electabuzz asked Blake.

The Croconaw thought for a long time. Finally, he answered. "I've got nothing better to do right now, so sure. What the hell?"

Rosko and Ralph exchanged high-fives.

Adam staggered outside. "Did I miss anything...?" He yawned.


Thirsty Cacturne

"Buddy, you've been shifting your eyes for 30 seconds, what is it?" Adam asked out of curiosity.

Blake looked at Adam. "Huh? Um, nothing. I'm not looking for a certain girl or anything." He said.

"Yes, you are. All bad boys do that with their eyes. I don't do it, but I already have a girlfriend." Adam smirked.

Blake glared at the Buizel. "Who?"

Adam sweatdropped. "Uh...Valerie! Yeah, she's a, um, Kirlia!" He unconvincingly stammered.

Blake stared at Adam for a long time. "...Sure."

Ralph showed up at the kitchen entrance with three other teams.

"We found our kitchen buddies!" Ralph smiled. "Any of them look familiar to you?"

Blake looked at Bishop and King of the Chessmate Bandits. "I don't know you guys at all, but you'll do." He took a look at Nunatak and R2R2 of Team Bitter-cold. "You two are from the festival. Beat us at the ice sculpture thing, but I could care less." He looked at the Nidorino and the Charmander. "Hell, no. I'm out." Blake turned around, but Ralph stopped him.

"Alrighty, then!" Ralph exclaimed. "Bishop, King, you'll be handling the Charti Bombs. Slashter, Dracyor, Embers-in-a-Pita. Blake and I will be doing the drinks while Adam and Rosko invite some guys over."

"I'm sorry, but what about us?" Nunatak asked.

"We <do> have hands." R2R2 said mechanically.

When Ralph didn't reply, Blake pointed to the Klink and whispered, "Don't mind him."

" could help by...we'll think of something." Ralph shrugged.

"Alright, let's get working." Slashter exclaimed.


"Hot desert is hot..." Rosko said in-between breaths.

"Yeah, and you're shedding." Adam added.

Rosko looked at his tail, which was slowly losing fur. "I'm BALDING!!!" He screamed in panic.

"Actually, you're shedding." Adam corrected.

Rosko began running around like a maniac, screaming. "I'M GETTING NAKED!!!"

Adam facepalmed. Then he noticed a body sticking out of the sand. "Oh my god! Ross, come look!" he screamed.

Rosko didn't hear him.


Later that night...

Ralph looked outside. There were tons of Pokémon mingling outside. Geez, that's a lot..., he thought. He looked back at the kitchen. "How're those Charti Bombs doing?!"

"On fire, Ralph! Literally on fire!" Bishop screamed. The Charti Bombs were definitely burning.

Ralph grimaced. "Embers?!" He asked desperately.

Dracyor sweatdropped. "I, uh, got carried away." Instead of Embers-in-a-Pita, there were Meatroot Needle Skewers.

Ralph looked the food over. "Eh, they'll do." He shrugged. "Blake, the juice?!"

"Just added the whiskey!" Blake yelled back.

Nunatak and R2R2 returned with the orders. "Alright, hang on!" Ralph said. He moronically drank half of the Cactus Flower Tea. "Ah, that's better. Hey, I need the Bombs!"

King came out with slightly overcooked Charti Bombs.


After everyone was served, Rosko and Adam finally returned. "Looks like everything's going well." Adam said.

"Yeah, barely." Ralph added.

"Hey, where's that Kirlia you found in the desert?" Rosko asked.

"Who, Valerie? She's resting at our tent." Adam said.

Blake facepalmed. "Give it up, Adam, there is no Valerie." He told him.

"Who's Valerie?"

Blake jumped and turned around to see his younger brother, his pet Poochyena, and a Honedge.

"Hey, you're the Totodile kid!" Adam immediately recognized the Totodile.

"Luke, what the hell are you doing, leaving your hideaway to come to this dust bowl?" Blake asked with concern.

"Blade here told me to come here." Luke explained.

"Please understand, this is for your benefit." The Honedge said.

Blake looked at Adam, who just shrugged. "Well, fine." Blake sighed.

Luke jumped around and cheered.
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confusedkangaroo's avatar
Pffff! My team could have just relaxed, seeming as they don't have hands. I'm glad they were remembered from the festival! This was fun, especially with all the character interactions. Thanks for the cameo.