I wake up as the alarm goes off and immediately feel sick in the stomach, today is the day. In just a few hours. Maybe if I don't acknowledge it, morning won't come. I close my eyes and pull the blanket over me to make the bright room dark, but I don't fall asleep. I lay awake, staring at the darkness underneath the blanket while it feels like I have growing black hole inside me.
The second alarm goes off 40 minutes later and I turn it off, still not getting out of bed, too afraid to face the coming day. After what felt like hours, but probably only was minutes, I got up and heads towards the bathroom. On the way I spot him on his regula