OH BOY! It's that limbo-esque time of year after the end of the holidays and before the new year, where the stress of the season finally catches up to me and I find myself lying awake at night both anxious and depressed, because I want to relax in the rare moment that I am allowed to relax, but at the same time I feel like I'm wasting my life because I'm not doing something
, so I'm gonna write a journal entry to pass the time until I'm just too physically tired to stay awake and worry about it.
First and foremost: Welcome any new watchers! If you found me through the llama trading game, THANK YOU SO MUCH for all your help! All throughout the year, I gather points through the llama trading game, and every year on Christmas day (and Christmas day ONLY) I give all those points back for my own llamas. I finally hit the golden llama this year! Now it's time to strive for those run away llamas!
So! How was everyone's holiday? I didn't have the flu this year, so that instantly made mine LEAGUES better than last year. What were your best/worst/weirdest gifts? I didn't get a lot of gifts, and I'm okay with that. My best gift was an entirely new set of bed sheets becuase my old space patterned, glow-in-the-dark ones I've had since middle school and were super faded and worn. My new ones are a nice solid navy blue to match the rest of my room. I'll need to go out and buy myself some more pillow cases, because i only got 4 when there are 10 pillows on my bed (as there should be), but I'll wait until another major holiday so I can get them on sale. My worst gift was a spongebob mug that was weirdly shaped, and had a small cake mix packet (cake-in-a-cup) that I immedately regifted to my sister so she could donate it to a White Elephant game she participated in at some other christmas party. Didn't really have any weird gifts this year. I got a lot of gift cards as well, which is ALWAYS appreciated. I love it when I don't have to spend my paycheck on food or gas.
One belated christmas gift that is on it's way is going to be the entire Kingdom Hearts collection for the PS4, given to me by my dad. He said he wanted to get me the PS4, but I refused, saying I made a solemn vow not to buy the console until the very day Kingdom Hearts 3 came out, (even though I already HAVE physical ps4 discs and no system to play them on). He thought this was funny, but respected my promise. A bit of reasoning/backstory, this is exactly what happened when I first got KH1. He bought me the game because I asked for it, but I didn't have the PS2 yet, and that following summer I did chorers at 25 cents a task and saved up $200 to buy the console myself. It was the greatest achievement of my 13 year old self. And now, 13 years later, he's promised to literally take a day off from work just to drive me out to a mall so I can buy myself a PS4. He knows he doesn't have to do this, but sometimes he enjoys in participating with me on my weird neurotic exploits and peculiarly specific way of wanting to achieve certain goals.
I kinda don't want to make a seperate journal a week from now listing my goals for 2019, and since I don't expect to be too productive in the last 5 days of 2018 (I only have 2 of these 5 days to myself, anyway), so I figured I might as well review my 2018 in this journal and share my resolutions for 2019 in here as well. Buckle up, folks! It's time for a retrospective!
So. 2018 in a nutshell? It went by way too goddamn fast. My overall mood this year was far more pessimistic than 2017, thanks to the current political climate, but as long as we keep voting and resisting and fighting for human rights I have hope we can pull through. Okay... so I have my old journal from the very beginning of this year open in another tab. Let's see what goals I met and failed;
GOALS FOR 20181)Go from being 5 figures in student loan debt down to 4
Status: COMPLETED!! I met this goal halfway through 2018 like I predicted, and once I did, I went on a shopping spree for myself, buying close to 200 dollars in dragon-related books (most of which I haven't started reading yet, *sobs*) as well as other random useless crap I wanted to have, like stuffed animals, becaue I'm a god damned adult and I make my own life choices and YES MOM, I DO NEED THIS PLUSHIE OF A RED PANDA BECAUSE IT'S TOO GOD DAMN SOFT AND I GET A 30% DISCOUNT OFF OF ALL PRODUCTS AT MY WORK PLACE. I also bought everyone christmas gifts this year, which felt good~ It was nice making my friends and family happy~2)Stretch Daily
Status: FAILED. I kept this up for about a week and then just.... didn't do it. I DID however, download a Home Workout APP for my phone and kept that up for a couple of months? Like, that wasn't even one of my goals?? In fact, in my old journal, I even clearly stated that I WASN"T going to list "excercise" as one of my goals because I knew I wouldn't do it, but then decided to do it anyway in the spur of the moment??? Idk, what even happened. I just steped on a scale one summer day for shits and giggles, didn't like the number and decided then and there to start exercising daily for my own health. (the only reason I stopped, btw, was because november started and I needed to spend every waking minute writing for NaNoWriMo). I might try and add this goal back to my list for 2019 and work my way up to regularly exercising again. (I probably need to go to a chiropractor anyway. My neck and shoulders have been aching for like, a month now, and I probably need an adjustment. Curse the growing pains of life)3)Do Another Song Comic
Status: COMPLETED!! And you know what? It was a song comic I didn't even plan
. I made one at the beginning of the year for the Hiveswap Comic Contest (I didn't win, btw) but I made one over the course of 6 weeks and it came out pretty good! Now I still got a bunch of other ideas for song comics, some I've sketched and storyboarded. Maybe I'll finish one or two of those in 2019???4)STOP TOUCHING YOUR GODDAMN FACE/ Find effective acne treatment
Status: Eh???? I still touch my face too much, and pop pimples when I shouldn't, but I have gotten better about washing my face at least once a day, and I've recently started exfoliating. I've learned my hormone cycle effects my skin condition, and much like a period, I can track/predict when my skin is gonna break out, which is really helping me avoid absently picking at my face. Hey, now that I'm over the age of 26 and pay for my own health care, I might even get hormonal medication to help with the issue. I've used birth control before and I remember how it made my skin fucking flawless. 5)Do at least one art stream a month
Status: Met??? I guess??? I have been streaming A LOT this year, almost on a weekly basis. Mostly they're 2-3 hour long streams as I make a comic page for an Undertale Fan Comic I started mid june and have been updating weekly since. Again, I go live on picarto, but... I just... don't tell anyone I do. Maybe I'll be more regular and vocal about it this year?? I sure hope so, for... various reasons.6) Work on Fox Project
Status: Attempted. I got the opening written and edited... now I just need to write 10+ seperate story lines for this.... project. I did not learn C# or make asset art, but I did start making art for my OCs and even put some designs on Redbubble and made a couple sales which has honest to god blown my mind. There are people out there who have bought products with my furry fox characters on them simply because they liked how they looked. As an artist, this has made me transend this plane of existance. I have evolved and unlocked my third eye. Now to tackle that galaxy brain.7)Practice ASL
Status: COMPLETED!! I finished the first 2 ASL courses on memrise and will start/complete the third in 2019. After I complete the memrise courses, I'll have to go elsewhere for more vocabulary and grammar lessons, but I know there are plenty of resources out there. I hope to be conversationally fluent by the end of 2019~8)Sew 4 stuffed animals
Status: Attempted. I finished one. Hobbes! Which you can see here: clevercatchphrase.tumblr.com/p…9)Make 2 AMVs
Status: Failed. I just... don't want to waste my time rewatching old cartoons, even though I know I lOVE A;TLA and tolerate LOK. I don't watch that much TV at all anymore, tbh. I don't feel productive sitting on a couch and staring a screen. (Now sitting on a computer chair and staring a monitor? Totally
different story.)10)Finish my many, many Undertale Fics
Status: Failed. If the Hiveswap Comic Contest hadn't happened at the beginning of this year, I might have succeeded, but instead I spent 12 weeks drawing comics in an attempt to get my fantroll in a game, and did not even place. I DID finish 3 stories (and one series (on Christmas Day, no less!)) though. Unfortulately all 3 of these stories were explicit and not ones I had necessarily planned to write when I made my list at the beginning of 2018, so I don't know what this says about me as a person. At least I wrote something
, right? ...right???OVERVIEW:
Of the 10 goals I set, I completed 4 or 5 depending on how forgiving I am with myself. Finishing half my goals seems to be the norm for me anyway, and I gotta say, I'm proud I completed more than I thought~ Now onto the goals for 2019~!
GOALS FOR 2019
(I'm half tempted just to copy/paste my Project List here, but my goals for the year are more than just art-oriented. But if you want to learn more in depth about my art projects, you can check out that journal here!: Project List for 2018 (and Onward I Guess)
)1) Pay off student loans.
I owe 9k across 2 loans. If I had been as frugal this year as I was last, I'd be down to one right now, but I'd rather buy gifts and take a little longer saving up than hoarding all my money just to blow my load again. I still have managed to save quite a bit, and I should cut down my current debt in half by the end of january/middle of february, and pay the rest off by August. We'll just have to wait and see. Now that I pay for my own health care, I've got to budget more carefully on my part-time paycheck. :/2) Health
-Stretch daily. Maybe do more intense exercise at least once a week
-Find a better acne management system3) Song Comics
I have 7 listed on my project list, and 4 of them are scripted or further! I'll try to finish at least one, but I have a feeling that after I play/beat kh3, I might be inspired to finish all 4, or abandon them. Only time will tell.4) Redbubble Art
I started a redbubble in october of 2017, and then put my first designs up in october of 2018. I want to make self-indulgent art of my own fox OCs, and would like to have at least one design for each of them. I already have designs for 2 of them up, so that just means I need to make a minimum of 8 more. Heck, I might even make holiday art of them and sell them as art prints.5) Fox Project
Seperate from the Redbubble art. I want to write the main 10 story routes for this project at least. Coding and asset art can come later.6) Practice ASL
I plan to finish the ASL3 course on memrise. Idk what I'll do after that. Maybe look into lifeprint.com or start-american-sign-language.com7)Sewing
I want to sew at least one of the three remaining plushies I had planned. Of course, I'd need to draw the patterns and get the materials and what not, but it shouldn't be too hard. I'm always a slut at jo-ann's fabric. Fucking miss me hobby lobby. Your textile selection is mediocre at best.8) Ghost Switch.
I started an undertale fan comic this year and have been updating it weekly without fail. I hope to build a buffer and maybe even a following, but since tumblr is making it nigh impossible to share art, I plan to jump to pillowfort once they re-open registration. Unrelated-but-also-related, I started a patreon. It's not hard to find, but I won't share it publically juuuust yet. I want to completely pay off one of my last two student loans before that happens because of reasons. (ie, re-read my paragraph on my obsesive-compulsive habits when it comes to executing significant/major decisions in my life)9) Diversify/stabilize income
This May will mark the 3 year anniversery of me working at my part-time job. While I love working at the zoo, every attempt I've made to become a full-time keeper has fallen through. I do not blame my managers nor hold resentment for those who got the jobs I tried for. They are amazingly capable and totally deserving. Zookeeping is just a competative field, plain and simple. But I cannot deny it any more that I cannot live on this pay check. I still live with my parent, and while our arrangement is wonderfully symbiotic (I do most of the cooking, cleaning and waste management in exchange for free room and board while I pay off my debt) I would like to start saving up enough to eventually move out. I hope to do this by supporting myself via patreon for my fan comic, as well as redbubble (or other similiar sites) with my own original art work. For me, this means broadcasting myself on social media, casting my net wide and hoping to build an audience. Sometimes I look at the task with excitement, like a challenge to conquer and sometimes it seems menial, tending to so many socials, trying to catch as many eyes as I can. I don't have a twitter, instagram or facebook, but if it will help with advertising, I may seriously think about starting one. My only fear is that I will spread myself too thin, trying to keep so many things updated at the same time. I already fear I have an unhealthy relationship with how much time I spend on the internet. I don't want to worsen it for myself.10) Make a story time youtube video
I mainly want to do this just to see if I can. I've attempted so many other art forms/medias in my life, so why not one more? I seriously don't see myself becoming a "professional youtuber" though. It just looks like fun to tell silly stories and draw funny pictures to go along with them.11) Finish Fan Fics
All but one of these is Undertale related. I'll let you guss which one is which. (probably shouldn't be too hard if you look at my Project List journal, lol)
-Grin and Bear It
-Three's Company, Too
-Let's Get Real
-Would You Like Fries With That?
-Until Daylight Comes12) General Art
Draw some shitty comics. Mostly the work related ones from my Project List journal
Finish a sketch book. (10 more pages, and I'll finish my current one, but I know I'm not gonna do it this year. But this is the secret to success! Set those bars so low, they become a tripping hazard, baby!)
Anything else from my project list journal.
Wow, this took me nearly two hours to type and I am exhausted now, but I do feel sufficiently better! I hope you all are having a wonderful holiday! Please stay safe, and if you want, tell me your goals for 2019 if you have any! See you around, guys~!