Once Upon a May Morning

Deviation Actions

knittingknots's avatar

Literature Text

She came to him, walking,
on a lovely spring day,
wearing red flowers
as she went on her way,
wearing red flowers,
her voice soft and fey,
singing "Leave me not here
in the morning."

She walked up to him -
her blue eyes were bold,
her gown was soft green
and her hair was bright gold.
Her gown was soft green
but her flowers were old
as she sang, "Leave me not here
in the morning."

Her skin, it was pale,
but her lips they were red,
a feverish rose
in each cheek brightly bled,
a feverish rose
that some sickness had fed
as she sang, "Leave me not here
in the morning."

She reached out a hand
to draw him quite near,
her smile it was bold,
but her eye held a tear,
her smile it was bold
and it turned to a leer
as she sang, "Leave me not here
in the morning."

He looked at her eyes,
and her gown, tattered green,
her red withered flowers
like a long lost May queen,
her red withered flowers -
he ran, quick and clean
as she sang, "He left me right here
in the morning."
A man's encounter with a faery woman...not all things fae are safe and harmless....
© 2010 - 2021 knittingknots
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
enquirewithin's avatar
Really enjoyed reading this piece - it flows really well!
knittingknots's avatar
DailyLitDeviations's avatar
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DLD (Daily Literature Deviations) in a news article that can be found here [link]
Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by :+fav:ing the News Article.

Keep writing and keep creating.
knittingknots's avatar
Much appreciated. Thanks!
tanya3286's avatar
this piece is featured in my journal - [link] ^^
tanya3286's avatar so jealous that you can do fixed forms and meters so well <33 i could hardly write stuff in meters though...its a rarity for me >_>
i love this! reminds me of Burton's Corpse Bride ^^ eerie and so mournful in a way.... sigh! ^^

btw - what is that in ur avatar... it looks like a kanji. are you Japanese..?
knittingknots's avatar
I'm not Japanese, but it is the Kanji for Fox. I was once writing a story that had something like 5 Kitsunes in it as characters, so I used that as my user pic. I need to change it. My favorite one now (I use it on Live Journal) is the Kanji for knitting, which kind of has implications for writing and poetry that English doesn't. One day, I'll get around to doing it.

My husband though, is 1/4th Japanese. Funny thing is I know a lot more about Japan and Japanese things than he does! LOL.
tanya3286's avatar
oh wow.. he is!? ...for some reason, i dunno why I actually find Japanese men so hott :heart: ~ maybe its just my manga and anime obsession. maybe its Uchiha Sasuke..:love: xD
~~im learning Japanese online these days.. ;D one baby step at a time. but kanji is so darn hard. i don't think i have the courage to even attempt it!!

where did you guys meet?!

I do really adore the Japanese culture, their way of life, all of it...except their whaling thing>> that I hate! >_<
knittingknots's avatar
We met on the internet, talking about the American Civil War in the 1860s, and prisoner of war camps, of all things....LOL. We both had ancestors who had been in the same POW camps.
tanya3286's avatar
aaawww... omg!!! this sorta makes me go sqqquuueee!!
it was like **DESTINED!! in the time of cholera - like... ok, nothing like it but i felt like mentioning it... now i feel like mentioning serendipity.. O_o
im crazy.. xD
but that's soo kool. how long did u knw each other before getting married? and how long has it been.. <33
knittingknots's avatar
Been married 11 years...we got married about six months after first meeting online.
tanya3286's avatar
oh wow....... dats just :heart: !!
talk about spontaneous... n my folks say 2.5 years isn't enough... u should talk to them and convince them for me!! <33 ^^
GwenavhyeurAnastasia's avatar
Absolutely loved this but for one thing: the "as she sang" is a bit too long for the line it's on. I would suggest cutting off the "as" in most cases, especially when you already have the extra syllable from "he left me right here". The "right" isn't always necessary, either. Digging the rest, though.

I just noticed this is a fixed form, though, so if it's necessary, ignore me.
aurianfae's avatar
I love it. It's awesome and creepy, just like the Unseelie Fae should be!
knittingknots's avatar
Yay...exactly what I was aiming for!

oh my...I haven't seen anybody call'em the Unseelie Fae outside of novels in awhile...LOL. Neat.
aurianfae's avatar
Hehe... well, I'm one of those odd mythology people. ^_^
knittingknots's avatar
Yay for us mythology people! It's always nice to find a kindred soul....
aurianfae's avatar
Oh I love it. If I thought I could get credit for taking it at my University I would, but right now I have all these specific classes I need to take.
knittingknots's avatar
I never did do a whole class on it, but in my English Lit classes, it got used a lot, which was good, since I have been a myth junkie since I was a small kid. I almost did a thesis on Faery lore in modern fantasy literature, but couldn't get a committee together for it...but I had fun doing the preliminary research!
aurianfae's avatar
That's awesome, if I ever have to do one maybe I will do it on mythology, though I'm not sure how that would tie back into Archaeology. I'm sure I could find some way or another. *ponders*
knittingknots's avatar
Oh, you can tie it in...look how many artefacts use mythologic tropes for their ornament, for example...

Archaelogy, huh? That was one of my early social science loves (like at the age of seven, when I got some kid books on Arthur Evans and other famous archaelogists), but I switched to history proper...did my bachelor's in history, went into English so I'd be able to teach English composition of all crazy things...
View all replies
miss-freaky-rose's avatar
A refreshing yet mournful tale.

It seems to me as if this belongs with music. I would like to here it with a harp and some wind instrument, I'm not sure which one though. :heart:
knittingknots's avatar
Why thanks. I agree with you about the music...if I were more of a musician (not much of one, me) I would do it.
miss-freaky-rose's avatar
Same here, If I were a musician, I would play for my lullaby. But alas, not all writers can be that gifted. :)
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In