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A moment of intimacy as a virtuoso performance....
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© 2010 - 2021 knittingknots
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vespera's avatar
you built this up to the end very nicely :)
knittingknots's avatar
Salli-Jo's avatar
Music and love...a beautiful mix!
knittingknots's avatar
Why thanks! I appreciate that!
Salli-Jo's avatar
You're welcome!
virtualpapercut's avatar
Mmmm love the crescendo and the repetition of "unable" ~ takes a familiar theme and renders it new. Yummy.
A little more graphic than some of your others but I liked it!
knittingknots's avatar
Is true it's more hentai than usual...It amused Poetry Muse to go in that direction without saying any words that actually describe much action; it left the exactly details in one's own head, but everybody knows at the same time....
GwenavhyeurAnastasia's avatar
The title originally had me thinking of something more violent, so kudos for that. It maintained some of that feel with lines such as "graze my thigh" and "demanding beat". Fairly simple, and perhaps a bit too erotic for my tastes, but I enjoyed it. I actually wish the musical images were more subtle, but that goes down to my preferences.
I must note, though, that I think a more solid stop would work better after "touch me, lover," such as a semi-colon. When I read this aloud, the comma just didn't seem to be enough.

Thanks for linking it to me. :]
knittingknots's avatar
you're right about the comma after lover...normally, I would have used an em dash...wonder what got into my head there? (For some reason or other, ever since I was in high school I have considered the semi-colon ugly to my eyes; I use it as needful, but in poetry tend to prefer the dash.) Well, that one is an easy fix.

You and my husband both agree on the musical imagery...I toned it down from the rough draft he read.

Yeah, the title is intentionally a bit misleading. I kind of enjoy misdirection...and in this case it beckoned me like a wicked thing, and it's drawn directly from the poem itself, and I couldn't resist.

My writing does tend to wander over the spectrum from delicate nature poetry to myth and folk lore to pieces like this. It was a wild poetic weekend. It started with Rainbow Afternoon One Summer, which is sort of meditative and about a real rainbow, with overtones of myth, followed by Bad Timing, which was a somewhat sarcastic take-off of the cautionary love ballad, then Rain Walk, which belongs to the series I call He and She, about an unnamed couple (most of these works are ficlets, but sometimes they come out as verse). In this one, he muses about how after getting totally soaked in rain, he knows the first thing she will do once she gets home is get into hot water, then And I Scream, then I wrapped it up with Briars, a poem about the end of Sleeping Beauty, gentle enough for children to read. All over the place.

Thanks again. It is seldom I get much substantial commentary, and I appreciate it!

Thanks for the comments. I truly appreciate them.
GwenavhyeurAnastasia's avatar
Ah, the dash works too. I'm a fan of semi-colons, personally, but can understand the preference. Bit of a grammar and punctuation junkie myself, so the more varied, the better. :]

Ha, the title fits. It's great.

You're lucky and talented to have such diversity. My writing often gets stuck in a rut, either subject wise or form wise, so kudos to you. I've enjoyed your work.

My pleasure, really. I love helping out and contributing thought whenever I can.
knittingknots's avatar
I was a college English prof for about a decade...I understand the grammar junkieness!

There are times when my inspiration runs dry, too...last year, I had nearly six months with very little poetry. It happens to me often enough that I never panic when it does (not uncommon in the summer, for instance), but I miss it when it goes.

Thanks very much...I appreciate it!
samsam594's avatar
Sexy,but in a very intimate way.Great job
knittingknots's avatar
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