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Hi, I just got back from THE TIME OF MY LIFE

I flew to Houston on Saturday. After all these years of interacting online, I FINALLY got to meet Jesse and Maria!!! I spent all of Warped Tour on Sunday with themplus Maria's sister. I got to see my favorite bands ever: Motionless In White and 3OH!3, as well as Bowling For Soup, Simple Plan, Harm's Way, Farewell Winters, We The Kings, and Palaye Royale. I moshed and nearly died at Motionless In White's performance, and I crowdsurfed for 5 seconds on 3OH!3's last song. I got so close to the stage for both of them!
We got rained on at noon so intensely that everyone had to evacuate, but eventually it cleared up, and the show went on. Just a bit delayed.

But it was amazing. What a way to spend my first concert experience. After that, we all had dinner and Apple had just flown back from being in California and joined us for dessert at Hot Cool Tea.

It was such a short trip, yet it was the best weekend I have ever had. Words cannot thoroughly express as to how happy I am.

Here's a Twitter moment I made of the highlights...

So, I'm settled in my apartment now.

I was supposed to move on December 30th, but due to some things that were out of my hands, it was pushed to January 2nd. But other than my internet, everything carried out pretty smoothly. I've been trying to get internet set up since I got in, but there were also some complications with that, which should be solved tomorrow. I'm currently using Starbucks Wi-Fi to post this.

Everything here is great and really close-by. I'm walking distance from a strip of restaurants and services, a short drive away from downtown, and have access to good-priced gas right outside my apartment. I'm attempting to go back to college too, which is just a 7 minute drive away. My apartment is limited-access, with two gated areas for entry/exit which close whenever the office inside closes. There are two pools, two laundry areas, a gym, a clubhouse (in progress), areas for barbecue (also in progress, just an outdoor hangout area for now), and a lake in the center of everything (complete with fountains). I made mac and cheese for dinner and ate it by the lake actually.

And like the title says, thank you. Thank you all who donated money and bought from my Amazon wishlist. You made my move so incredibly easier on me, and I'm definitely not forgetting to acknowledge that. I'm so thankful for you all and very excited as to the content I will be able to produce and share with you. I've been working with the writer of Buoy-Friend and we have decided to renew the project. We know it flopped, mostly on my end, but I know I went about it the wrong way and didn't understand my circumstances then, nor did I know what kind of outcome I wanted with the project. It all seems sorted out now, and I'm glad. We've been wanting this story out for years now.

This will be the year I will get my life together and do what I want, which is creating. I'm looking forward to making more drawings, costumes, animations, and comic pages- and I hope you'll enjoy them. Happy 2018 everyone.
Hey, I'm moving out and living alone in one month and would appreciate some help with some household items this Christmas. I have a list here on Amazon where you can purchase from and have items get to me safely. Priorities are in the food gift cards, but I am immensely grateful for everything.

If you want to send me items that you already own from this list, or other things you think I might need, that's awesome too. Private message me about it.

You may donate any amount of money through Ko-Fi or PayPal, as I am also saving up for a used car, as well as groceries, rent, and hopefully therapy again.

Thank you so much for reading this and for your support. I'll post some items for sale soon as well. Early Merry Christmas wishes to you all, and happy holidays. :heart:
I saw a mutual do this, and apparently it's a popular journal entry, but I haven't seen any other than theirs.
But that doesn't matter, here we go

My digital art will be the main focus of this journal.

Some example pieces:

- I like the edges
- Yeah

- My scenic background attempts are nothing special. They always look slapped on, like I just wing it every time.
- I don't practice enough expressions. Facial expression, body expression... it feels faint. Nothing strong anywhere.
- Weak anatomy. Yeah I know the basic components of a body, but there just isn't any anatomy study.
- Colors. I have never studied color theory, and it shows. And if you think I used good colors on a drawing, I swear it's because I put a color filter over it.

Things to work on:
- Actually study something for once.
- Settle on an effective way to draw eyes.
- Dynamic expressions and poses.
- Maybe look into more on shading and/or clothing folds (Not too strong on this because I feel like putting too many details in my drawings will clutter it)
- Try my hand at people and feral animals a bit.
- Find time/energy/motivation to be able to work on things.
- Get an audience who will want to interact with my art.

If there's anything I missed, let me know here or here.
Tagged by nijimillions over here

I say fuck all the rules just let me answer the questions for I want to talk about myself
RJ's questions:

1. what do you normally do with your friends? (internet friends count!)
This is so sad I hardly do anything with my friends and I feel bad about it. We hang out one or two times a month, go to the mall or someone's house, drive around, eat food, etc.

2. who do you talk to most on deviantART?
I don't really talk to anyone on deviantArt directly, but I do talk to dA users pigsnoutemoji, kittybf, and pastIife in a text group chat sometimes and meet up on occasion, as I briefly mentioned previously.

3. u got any fave jewelry???
Nah... I have interests in face piercings (nose and eyebrow, specifically), but I'm binch when it comes to physical pain (and people watching me experiencing physical pain) so nothing yet. I doubt I'd look as good in them anyway.


I do like to make money, I don't get turnt up as often.

6. u smoke dat gud kush? dem smigarettes? lil bitta vaperooni?
I smoked weed like 1.5 times a month for about a year, but I think I'm done because I want to apply for a another job, which I believe does both application and surprise drug screening. No cigarettes for me, though I have vaped a few times in the past.

7. show us the art ur most proud of!!
LARGE LUGIA by Kludges YOU'RE ALL LATE by Kludges

8. who's ur fave OC rn?
I'm not sure of my characters who would be my favorite, I love them all for their own specific reasons.

9. if you could change ur appearance to exactly what u wanted, what would u do? who would u look like?
Big pingas. Bigger, stronger arm muscles. I don't work out enough as I'd like to, sadly.

10. who's ur fave fictional character?
Sugar Kysley from Drop-Out.

11. any clothes or accessory you dream of wearing?
I like the idea of really really formal clothing, but I don't think I can pull it off. I like comfortable clothing.

12. you have a tiny version of like, ur bestfriend or significant other.. u still have the normal sized one around too tho. what do u do with it??
TOSS IT IN A GARBAGE CAN ACROSS THE ROOM ha ha I'm kidding I have no idea. I'd probably ask about its existence

13. ur at a breakfast joint drunk at 2am, what do u order???
5 hard-boiled eggs.
I bought a new-ish laptop offa Craigslist Saturday and scooped up a day's work of Steam summer sale video games a few days prior, and finished those three games listed in the title within the two days that I had said laptop. Really good stuff, I absolutely loved them. I haven't truly played video games in years so it was really refreshing. Feel free to recommend any games to me since the sale lasts for another day or two.

My bosses want me to start working for them full-time soon, as they're planning to expand the business. For those who do not know: I repair iPhones, as well as help with organizing their inventory. Not sure what expanding will entail, but I sure hope it means a new building with air conditioning, an official company and name instead of just a service offered on Craigslist, some kind of healthcare, and an actual paycheck (I'm currently just handed cash at the end of my shift). That could all be wishful thinking, but I hope to find out all the details tomorrow. All I know is that they're "expanding [their] business very soon" and that they "could really use [my] services more full time" (and they requested 4 days a week, 6 hours a day).

What does that mean for art though? I still continue to be on and off with my content. A few weeks ago I tried to compile a schedule to begin when I got a gaming laptop: Mon/Tue iPhone work days, Wed-Fri for art, and Sat/Sun for video games or family-related activity. But now that'd probably be shifting around soon with work taking up more days. My priorities with regards to art are this fursuit head commission for my very patient friend, and the comic that I'm doing with my other very patient friend (and very patient audience). I would also like to have animations be a priority because so many aspects of it is interesting and rewarding, but the time it takes really cannot compete with my other activities. So content in that area will most likely be rare.

It kind of sucks knowing I keep starting things and have such an intense fire for doing it, then the next day comes around and I can't stick to what I was doing.

That behavior is nothing new to me, but it still sucks. No one likes waiting, and I don't like having to let people down constantly. I don't like this demotivation or "art block" or whatever thinly-veiled laziness that makes me stop doing what I want to do. Not to mention countless other things I have planned such as laser engraving the acrylic sheet that I bought two months ago, or working on the five ideas for animations that I have, or trying to re-redevelop my characters and give them biographies on my website.

Also I'm just really fucking lonely in this dumb town and tired of life itself, but that's a whole story all on its own.
Or do you just make them up
My recent journals have been regarding commissions and whatnot. That's great and fine, but I've always liked the comfort of deviantArt journals to be able to use as a traditional journal to record thoughts. I don't want to keep this as a constant habit because being able to unload thoughts feels better released in large occasional chunks rather than constant small thoughts. I think statuses are better for the latter, but I utilize Twitter instead of those.

There isn't much purpose to this journal, and no there isn't some kind of art freebie hidden within the mess that some artists like to do (which is not a bad idea or anything), it's just to let loose and open up and reach the surface for a gasp of air.

So I guess I'll begin.
I've lost touch with a large amount of friends, not as much online ones lost as I have lost the ones I grew up physically around. And I'm fully aware what happened, I won't deny that we stopped talking due to no longer being in high school with them, or that I never made any effort to talk to them out of stubbornness and anxiety, or that I started becoming more and more depressed and standoffish and hateful of people. It's not right, and I don't blame them from ceasing most contact. I lost someone (not by death) extremely important to me. I can try to blame my actions and emotions on the various disorders that I have, but they are part of me no matter what, and I can't make excuses. Less people I have, less people to disappoint, I think.

I started cutting and smoking again. I had held off on a lot of it because of being tethered to something I will mention near the end of the journal, but having that limit gone... I don't know if that's helping or hurting me more. I hate cutting. It hurts. I hate smoking. It smells awful. Yet I find myself at it. Contradictory thoughts and actions haven't been anything new to me at all.

I planned a slightly intricate for-sure method of suicide that required some travel. The last time I planned anything as complex as that was in November of 2015. Things seemed to finally be in place, general plans to travel were in the works. I wiped out all the money I had collected over so many years in my bank account within a week, using the money to help people out of some bad situations. And then my parents ended up cancelling the plan.

Most of my free time the past few months has been spent in my room. My head can't decide whether I want to have interaction or not, so I stay in my room in seclusion, yet jump on social media all day until I realize it's midnight and should probably sleep. It's unhealthy. I stopped working out (I don't have a desperate need to, but it was something I enjoyed and felt accomplished doing). I also stopped drawing. I have dreams of getting our comic Buoy-Friend up and running, completed, and finally printed in book form, but it seems so far because of the rut that I'm in. This depression certainly gives me the emotional inspiration, but I need the motivation. I'm trying to push myself to create again in general because I really want to.

And motivation partners up very close with the time required. I've been struggling in college for too long, until I've finally given up on 2/3 classes for the last two weeks of it to take extra work shifts instead. I like my job repairing iPhones, I find it very easy for me, but I've finally understood that doing constant repeating of work, or of anything, bores me and drains my energy. I need to find a comfortable creative cycle that I can do. And as I've been digging up interests from the backburner, I feel like I can feel better someday.

Halts or complete stops have been placed on things. As previously stated, I've given up on classes, and only attending for my electronics class because I find it fun. I'm ditching the rest. I feel bad because the professors are great, but I just don't have what it takes to continue. No matter what I do now will not save my grade, and frankly, I don't see myself returning to college. I don't know what I want from it. I didn't know what academic aspect I wanted when I initially went in. I thought I attended to get so-called "general education" since I thought "since I don't know what I was going to do, why not get general courses out of the way since I have financial aid?" But no, I believe I really only attended just to have more chances to be with my partner at the time. And that crashed because of their busyness plus my abandonment issues and temper. I don't think they actually liked me for who I was, only the things I was able to do for them.

The other halt/stop is the Navy. For those who had heard me talk about before, I had discussed joining the Navy. I had signed up and sworn-in in August 2016, and my ship date wasn't until June 2017. Things seemed okay, I understood many of the concepts and rules we were given to learn. But the long time passed to where I just felt worse and worse about life in general that I felt I wasn't confident enough to go in anymore. I cut my contract with the Navy last month. It feels liberating to not be tethered any longer, but it also hurts because there were many benefits that would help me out so much with many, many life issues I had. But I wouldn't have stood a chance where I'm at right now. Maybe someday in the future, but definitely not now.

I bought a website. I've been wanting this domain for a very long time, the suffix was unique and matched my desired brand name perfectly, but it wasn't live to the public until this month. Last night, I purchased the domain, hooked it up to a host, then today I started to customize it. It's almost done, actually. I just need to get my example pictures done and displayed. I'm very excited to be up and running again, and with a more professional-looking site. I won't stop using social art websites of course. I am looking forward to making more fursuits and parts because seeing people interact with what I made is one of the best feelings in the world, and something wearable is probably one of the best ways to display it.

Everything all starts with getting smoothed out and situated. I have plans to move to Michigan with in-laws. I had wanted to move in the summer, but I'm not sure where that plan is going right now since they're getting family issues in the mix of things. I hope they'll be okay soon. If I do happen to move, it should be liberating. I've been sheltered and limited by my parents for too long, that I believe I've fabricated my own barriers for myself that have kept me from doing a lot. And I've been living in California all my life in the city where everything's here and convenient, whereas Michigan will be out in the beauty of nature where the nearest town is an hour away. It's a fresh new experience that I want to have. I hope to at least visit and stay for a while if I do not move.

Someday soon, things will be better.
I know throughout this year, I've been infrequent with updates and art and the like, but that's just because life does that. Stuff gets in the way. But I do feel comfortable sharing what has happened recently for the sake of being aware if you're interested! I only really post life stuff on deviantArt for some reason... I think I like the layout of it or something.

This week, I began my first semester of college. I'm going to a community college in my city, and I am aware how strange that is, I know. Everyone I talk to on here goes straight to art school immediately after high school. Which is great, intimidates me, but also makes me happy that it's possible for you all to do so. I'm just getting general education for now because I'll be real: I don't really know what I want to do!

I know graphic design is what people online (as well as my local friends, family, whatever) believe is my sole passion, but that's not entirely true. I enjoy many things, drawing is just the one that has been and stayed with me the longest. I do enjoy drawing and am passionate about it, though I'm not sure that is what I want to do as a career. I would love to continue as I'm doing now, which is do life but also do art on the side when I can (this means anything, like personal art and commissions).

Of course that's subject to change, like anything is.

As of now, other than college, I'm going to be serving in the Navy; I'm not sure if I have already touched on the subject in the past? I've been working on getting in the past few months. Today, Friday, I went through MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station) for a full physical and evaluation, and I passed it all successfully. I also chose my rate, which is my job. In June 2017, I will be shipping out for boot camp (sadly, I will be missing Anime Expo). After that, I will be training to become an Interior Communications Electrician, or "IC", and will be serving for four years, unless of course I decide to reenlist.
I'm still working on Navy stuff though, since I am also aiming for a higher rank, which requires a lot more work such as getting recommendations and doing tests and whatnot. But for the time being, I am enlisted, and if I am accepted for this higher rank before I ship out, it'll all change.

Gonna close up this journal soon and head to bed..
But right before that, I gotta be informal and get these sappy feelings out too because oh man I really do love my boyfriend. I know I haven't really spoken up about it since in the past year or so I've been wavering in and out of how I felt about relationships, but wow, this is fucking real, and I love him so so much. Never have I ever wanted to be with someone long term and live with them, but I definitely see that in the near future, and holy fuck am I excited for that.

Just gotta stay focused and be patient :heart:
Mine reached its four-year mark two weeks ago
Tassel tagged me. Here are his answers.. AND HERE ARE MINE

The Rules:
1. Fuck ALL of these rules honestly -Kludge
2. Each person has to share 13 things about themselves.
3. Answer 13 questions asked to you and invent 13 questions the people you tag will have to answer.
4. Choose 13 people.
5. You have to legitimately tag 13 people.

6. You CAN'T say you don't do tags.
7. Tag-backs are ALLOWED.
8. YOU MUST MAKE A JOURNAL ENTRY! NO COMMENTS! Unless you're talking ABOUT the entry.
9. You have to finish within a week. If you don't finish in time, you have to do whatever the creator tells you. jfc who tf made these rules
10. Be creative with the title. No " I got tagged" stuff.

13 things about me:

  1. I have so much difficulty describing myself because of how diverse I can act in any situation. Sometimes I'm extremely impatient, sometimes I can probably wait til the end of the world. At times I'm calm and chill, and other times I'm completely restless and continuously moving. Sometimes, I'm very sex-repulsed, sometimes I'm.. ugh, the opposite of that.
  2. My computer is utterly disappointingly slow (It sucks because I use a Wacom Cintiq for my monitor so it looks cool but is secretly terrible). You do not know how long the waiting time was to fill out this journal.
  3. I honestly do not know much about electronics (computers, programming, terms, etc) and wish I did but don't know where to start and feel discouraged by my friends.
  4. Orientation/attraction labels have slowly become less and less important to me. I used to think better of myself when I felt like I fit a label, but I scolded myself mentally every time I would do something that went against it.
  5. Things I wish I could control: my sweat glands on my hands when I'm doing little to nothing that really requires any energy at all, my tear ducts when I'm talking about something extremely simple about my personal life
  6. Buoy-Friend has a really great story, and it's pretty personal even though I wasn't the one who wrote it. I want to continue it really bad, but I don't feel comfortable working on it while in an art slump
  7. I'm not sure if I can come up with thirteen facts about me. I'm gonna be working on this for a while.. I'm gonna go back and forth with things probably.
  8. Back to relationship stuff.. Attraction is kinda vague and weird for me, and I don't think I care enough to dwell on it if I "truly am in love with" someone because honestly I would accept if any of my friends asked me. I'm a relationship anarchist, which is a bit like polyamory.
  9. My teeth are really terrible. All my life I would crunch on hard candies because I liked the sound, but now my teeth are very weak and hurt when sugar sticks to it (such as taffy candy). My molars (mainly on my left) are very sensitive to hot and cold foods. You can also see the enamel has worn down. It's all so embarrassing.
  10. I'm joining the military after a year or two of community college. I was inspired by my dad and my sister to join. I'm going in as a Naval officer.
  11. I like all types of music except country. I don't even hate country, it's just not something I'd download on my iPod.
  12. Thank God I'm almost done with this free for all. This is so difficult trying to come up with things off the top of my head.
  13. My favorite colors are cyan and neon pink. In general, then blue and pink. I can't decide between the two so they're tied for first place. Second favorite is purple.

Questions from Tassel himself

  1. What's your favorite video game? I don't have a favorite because they're all great. SORRY
  2. Ever crush on a fictional character, if so, then who? YES.. I refuse to think about it right now because it was really embarrassing and filled with furries and cartoon old men.
  3. What type of science is your favorite (biology, chemistry, zoology, ect.)? Hmm, maybe computer science? I really don't know. They're all great even though sciences are not my forte.
  4. If you had to live in one fictional universe for a day, which world would that be? Ohhh... Maybe Gravity Falls, Rick and Morty, Lego Movie, Okami, or Splatoon..
  5. Favorite genre of music? If that's too general, then tell me a catchy song you really like! I like so many genres and songs. AGH well the first two songs off the top of my head that I like are "Hacker" by Death Grips and "Restless" by New Order.
  6. Who or what was your first OC? Maybe do a little sketch of them too, I'd like to see (you don't have to tho)! I made characters all the time ever since I began drawing in Kindergarten. Or maybe before that. I really don't know. My first character was most likely a cat, dog, or dragon because that's all I drew.
  7. What's your most recent, happy memory? Last week, I was spending time with and kissing one of my partners because I'm a queer homo
  8. If you could make any fictional character real, who would it be and why? Crap I feel kinda brain dead and can't think about this one. Any character that could somehow help me gain powers would be neat.
  9. What are your interests? Well, you all know I like drawing, but other interests include baking, video-making, costume-making, etc.. I dunno, I switch it up a whole lot because I lose interest easily. Drawing is the only interest that seems to come back more than the others, ha ha.
  10. What's your most recent drawing that you're proud of? I really like the badges I made for Juno. They always make nice character designs which translates very nicely into my art.
  11. Favorite oc of yours? Probably Kludge. A lot of time and personality went into him, and I connect with him so much.
  12. If you have an oc with a backstory, tell me who and what their backstory is! If not, then just tell me a story that you liked reading. Okay, well Jonathan James (a.k.a. JJ) is a skunk. Or, almost a skunk. They're just a bunch of code that got messed up who normally takes the form of a skunk, mass of pixels, or a mix of that. JJ has no real gender and goes by any pronouns. They can travel into whatever has electricity, so they usually just chill out in game worlds. They were a previous fursona of mine, but I still felt a lot for them and redesigned them for a better purpose. They're still somewhat of a fursona. JJ's full name is reminiscent of someone who was important to me but lost contact for reasons unknown.
  13. How's your day? I hope it was good, if it wasn't I'm sure things will get better! I'll be here for you if you ever need anyone to talk to. It was okay. I played osu! for the first time, ate two really good sandwiches, and was introduced to the basics of driving a car with my dad.
Sorry for my radio silence. I'm not really drawing, but I am lurking around

ANYWAY I was tagged by :iconzlden: thanks bud

① post these rules
② post 8 facts about your character.
③ tag 8 other characters
④ post their names along with their creator’s avatars.

Tagged by Zlden to do 8 facts about Kludge, which you can read Zlden's answers here.

1. Kludge is a kludgy mishmash of dog/dragon/lizard/somethin' I dunno. I usually shorten it to dog/dragon because people usually count dragons as lizards. Inspiration for being a mash of animals, and his tail tip design, is reminiscent of my favorite artist whose art I looked up to so much before their whole internet existence died many years ago.

2. His main skin can be fur, scales, or a mix of both. It's up to artist interpretation and free will, just like his options of mixing and matching his various body parts. His skin can also change hue within blue and green.

He can shed/regrow limbs. It can take up to a day to fully regenerate depending on what or how much has been removed. Because of this ability, he can eat parts of his body if he's hungry or bored. He mainly goes for his tail because it's easier on him (eating other limbs of course means less dexterity and mobility), and tastes better whether cooked or raw. In his opinion though. He's not sure how it would taste for you. No one's ever tried except him.

4. Kludge's tail is prehensile and very strong. He can sit on his tail with proper posture as it can hold his body weight (and a little more). He also likes hanging from things like tree branches and whatnot. This strength is probably why it tastes better.

5. I have some secret ideas for him.. not really secret, but things that I think is unnecessary to mention and put on reference sheets. Just things that I like to think of. One is that not wearing glasses for a long amount of time gives him temporary hypnosis powers (complete with winding blue/pink/turquoise swirls as sclera) but also makes him hella dizzy. The other idea is that he can store small objects in his skin because he can regrow skin over it, almost like absorbing it. It does look really silly depending on what is being stored so he doesn't really do it that much.

6. He has an older brother who's a badger/dragon hybrid that belongs to my QP partner. I've yet to make an official drawing of him and only have a couple scraps in my sketchbook. They both hatched from eggs from different parents a few days apart from each other. No one really knows or cares how it all works, but they're self-proclaimed brothers.

7. Kludge's tail is almost always moving. It's hard to mention into a reference sheet, especially since I only really expect static art of him, but his tail moves slowly from side to side normally. Imagine him as an idle 3D sprite just standing around or something, ha ha. Anyway, other movements go along with his expressions. This is the reason, other than money issues, why I opted not to have a tail for my fursuit. Having a brainwave-controlled tail of some sort would be ideal..

8. The word "kludge" means "an ill-assorted collection of parts assembled to fulfill a particular purpose", "a system and especially a computer system made up of poorly matched components", and "solution that is clumsy, inelegant, difficult to extend, hard to maintain", amongst other things. Very fitting.

Do this if you want to!

I'M A MAN now
Wahoo, another great year.
This weekend, I had my championship prelims Saturday at Clovis and finals Sunday at Fresno State. Prelims we finished in 7th place, and Finals resulted in 16th. Hell yeah it was pretty disappointing, but I made so many new friends and memories throughout the year, and overall just an amazing time.

I also met up with :iconjaspering: again on Saturday during awards, which was AWESOME. And much better planned than last year's unexpected meetup. Heh.

Still waiting for someone to upload a video of our performance, so this journal will be updated when that happens.
thx PeterJQuill

1. Name: J ayyyy den
2. Nickname(s): Kludge, Nicholas
3. Birthday: March 31
4. That makes you: almost an april fool
5. Where were you born: Lemoore
6. Location right now: New York
7. Shoe size: fuk i dunno i haven't gotten new shoes in 20 years
8. How many piercings?: i had two before
9. Tattoos?: nah
10. When you wake up you're: viciously shaken or being yelled at
11. When your about to sleep you're: stupid
12. Zodiac sign: Aries
13. Chinese sign: Tiger
14. Righty or Lefty: Righty
15. Innie or Outie: Innie (idk why i always hate this question but it makes me feel weird)
16. School: The D

Section Two: Looks
17. Nationality: American. Filipino-Chinese
18. Hair color: Black

where is #19 did i delete it or

20. Weight: 104.5
21. Height: 4'11" last time i checked
22. Braces?  never
23. Glasses? hell yea!

Section Three: Private Life
24. Do you have a boy/girlfriend? hell yeah he'd beat me in a gay contest!!!!
25. If so, who? a fucken gay
26. If not, do you have a crush on someone?:
27. Who has a crush on you? i'm suspecting chris but idk maybe it's cause he only talks to me during drumline cause i'm the only approachable person in there
28. Ever cheated on your bf/gf? no
29. Who was your first kiss: Christian (in my friends' fuckin bathroom. amazing.)
30. Who was your last kiss: Ivan
31. Are you a virgin? yeah
32. Ever had a threesome before? nooop and i never imagine doing one i'd get jealous as hell
33. dellelelelettted
34. Have you ever been in love? baby don't hurt me
35. Broken any hearts?: unfortunately
36. Got your heart broken?: OHH......
37. Ever liked a friend?: well of course
38. What happened?: i ended up dating all of them

Section Four: Past Relationships
39. How many relationships have you been in? 7
40. How many were serious enough to count: 6
41. Who were those serious ones:
42. brynn delelete
43. What made them different: uh
44. What happened: uh
45. Best boy/girlfriend: i'd say the one i'm dating now
46. Worst boy/girlfriend: Rick or Christian i can't decide
47. Ever been kissed: ye a h
48. Who do you want back: nah
49. Who do you regret: Rick
50. Why?: it was a waste and i don't even know why we dated
actually i do it's because we were both lonely people looking for a relationship

Section Five: Favourite
51. Song: "Where the Stars Belong" Wolfgun
52. Movie: Lego Movie
53. Food: Ribs (only when there fuckin done right)
54. Drink: Water or Juice
55. Store: uh
56. Television show: none at the moment! when i get more time yea
57. Holiday: Halloween
58. Book: eeeeeehhhggghhhgguhgg
59. Ice cream: Moose Tracks
60. Sweets: fruit or soft candy
61. Crisps: sour cream and onion
62. Type of music: all except most country/pop
63. Artist: i dunno i kinda just listen to whatever i come across
64. Word: booklet, glass, and creme
65. Time of day: when i have a lotta time to do stuff
66. Dressing: ranch
67. Alcoholic drink: ugh i dunno i haven't tasted much but there was this one drink that was basically soda with 1% alchohol in it it wasn't bad
68. Colour(s): cyan, dark grey, bright neon pink, and white
69. Piece of clothing: my chest binder tank top
70. Character: uhh.....
71. Smell: video game instruction booklets or the smell of the dirt after it rains
72. Shampoo: somethin fruity
73. Soap: oatmeal
74. Smiley: D:',
75. Board game: Pictionary or Mad Gab
76. Sport: marching band
77. Number: 69 ... or 17
78. Quote: "..."
79. Animal: deer, skunks, and lizards
80. Actor: i don't have one
82. Vegetable: spinach, okra, and broccoli hol shit..
83. Fruit: mangos and oranges
84. Place to be: sleeping in my bed
85. Thing in your room: my bed
86. Gum: somethin minty
87. Shape: the trapezoid
88. Country: i've only been to like two pls leave me alone
89. Mall: SM in the Philippines
90. Car: i'll have to get back to you on that
keepin brynn's answers for the next two
91. Boy's name: why the fuck are we gendering name
92. Girl's name: why the fuck are we gendering names
93. Family member: my sister....o m g...
94. Restaurant: i don't eat at restaurants enough to know
95. Movie place: anywhere cheap that doesn't smell like popcorn (aka nowhere)
96. Person to go to the movies with: my sister!
97. Noise: the sound of a vibraphone or tenor drums
98. Brand of shoe: i'm wearing airwalks right now? they're not my fave i don't really have a fave but uh alright
99. Brand of clothing: hmmm
100. Body part of a chicken: wing even though that's like the least meat i just love it
101. Swear word: shit
102. Month: October through January heh
103. Possession: my computer
104. Team: w il d c a t s
105. Season: Winter
106. Radio station: no thank
107. Magazine: any cause they smell good
108. Favourite grade: my current one is the best out of all
109. Least favorite grade: from kindergarten to 10th
110. Teacher: Mr. Jolly, Mr. Sneed, or Mrs. Mirwald hella cool and awesome teachers
111. Least favorite teacher: i never really thought of that
112. Subject: Music
113. Subject to talk about: art or gender/sexuality

Section Six: Family
114. Who's your mum?: Mom
115. Who's your dad?: Dad
116. Any step-parents?: no
117. Any brothers?: noop
118. Any Sisters?: 1 badass awesome beautiful and perfect one hell yeah
120. Coolest: my sister
121. Loudest: my dad
122. Best relative: HMMM
123. Worse relative: hmmm
124. Do you get along with your parents? not at all cause they don't like me
125. With your siblings? yes yes yes yes
126. Does anyone understand you? well yeah maybe not all parts but yeh
127. Do you have any pets?: 1 kitty ca
129. If not, what do you want as a pet?: a lil skunky or a ferret
130. Can I be a part of your family? not sure who this is referring to but yea

Section Seven: School
131. Are you still in school?: sadly
132. Did you drop out?: i almost did but no
133. Your current GPA: 3.5 i would say. all my grades are just falling every day
134. Do you buy or bring lunch?: buy
135. ABC's?: yes i know those quite well
136. Favorite class: programming and band ...
137. Play any sports at school?: marching band counts ok
138. Are you popular?: no..
139. Favourite memory: when drumley had a date at the cheesecake factory
140. Most humiliating moment: s h i tt
141. Most funniest moment: too many to think of
142. Most scared moment: when mom went into my underwear drawer

Section Eight: What do you think of when you hear
145. Chicken: chica
146. Dog: borzoi
147. Christina Aguilera: a blonde chick

the formatting messed up here for some reason cause i was using the note app on my phone

148. Ricky Martin: rick...
149. 50 cent: money
150. Poop: a pile of dog doo
151. Beach: that one level in crash bandicoot
152. Desert: dessert
153. Water: dolphind
154. Osama: obama
155. Love: a heart
156. Your little brother: that "i am your brother" song that one filipino dude sang
157. Butt: what i ate when ivan came over that one day
158. Clowns: the clown chia neopet game
159. Wonder: a rainbow
16o. Brown: chocolates
161. Banana: the "half a banana" episode of mouse and mole
162. Sex: the real drumley boys doing the nasty
163. Parents: ugh
164. Homosexuals: ivan
165. God: cross

Section Nine: Do you believe in

166. God: yea
167. Heaven: yea
168. Devil: yea
169. Hell: yea
170: Boogy man: no
171. Closet Monsters: it's ok to be gay i'm a gay monster too
172. Fortune tellings: no
173. Magic: no
174. Love at first sight: no
175. Ghosts: no
176. Voo-doo dolls: no
177. Reincarnation: no
178. Yourself: sometimes!

Section Ten: Do you

179. Smoke: that'll most likely change soon i'm waitin til some more money comes my way
180. Do drugs: not yet
181. Drink alcohol: no
182. Cuss: oooho yeah
183. Sing in the shower: yes
184. Like school: not at all
185. Want to get married: no i'm sorry
186. Type with all of your fingers: yeah
187. Think you're attractive: sometimes
188. Drink and drive: no
189. Snore: no
190. Sleep walk: no
191. Like watching sunrises and sunsets: yeah

Section Eleven: Have you ever

192. Flashed someone: no
193. Gotten so drunk til you threw up everywhere: nah
194. Told that person how you felt: yes
195. Been arrested: no
196. Gone to jail or juve: no
197. Skateboarded: yeah!
198. Skinny dipped: no

199. Rock climbed: yep
200. Killed someone: more like some/thing/ but nah
201. Watched porn: yeah cause i'm disgusting
202. Gone on a road trip: on one now
203. Went out of the country: yeah!
204. Talked back to an adult: all the fucking time cause they're so damn rude
205. Broken a law: yea
206. Got pulled over: no
208: Cried to get out of trouble: fuck yeah
209. Let a friend cry on your shoulder: maybe? i don't recall
210. Kissed a brother's or sister's friend: no
211. Kissed a friend's brother or sister: nah
212. Dropped something on the floor and let someone eat it anyways: yeaha
213. Moon someone: ughh
214. Shop-lifted: probably
215. Worked at McDonald's: no
216. Eaten a dog: no but i will
217. Give money to a homeless person: yes
218. Glued your hand to yourself: on purpose
219. Kissed someone of the same sex: yeah
220. Had a one night stand: no
221. Smoked: didn't we already go over this
222. Done drugs: no

223. Lose a friend because of your ex: i don't think so
224. Slap someone for being stupid: no
225. Had cyber sex: ugh.hhhggh
226. Wish you were the opposite sex: is this a trick question
227. Caught someone doing something: yes
228. Played a game that removes clothing: nah that sounds terrible
229. Cried during a movie: even when i told myself not to ugh
230. Cried over someone: yea cause i'm super lame
231. Wanted to hook up with a friend: yes just for like a date for a day idk that sounds fun when you're single
232. Hooked up with someone you barely met: no
233. Ran away from home: i don't think so but i have always thought of it but no balls to actually do it
234. Cheated on a test: "a test" more like "all tests"

Section Twelve: Would you

235. Bungee jump: no
236. Sky dive: no
237. Swim with dolphins: yes
238. Steal a friend's bf or gf: no wtf
239. Try to be the opposite sex: try to be?? i already am lmao
240. Lie to the police: nah
241. Run from the police: i can't run for long distances but even if i could i wouldn't
242. Lie to your parents: not like i don't do that already
243. Backstab a friend for your own well being: fuck no
244. Be an exotic dancer: pffppft no
245. skippin

Section Thirteen: Are you

246. Shy: sorta! i'm tryin to be more social though
247. Loud: agh yeah and i gotta shut up lmao
248. Nice: not really ... but some days yeah
249: Outgoing: nah
250: Quiet: usually
251. Mean: yeah
252. Emotional: unfortunately
253. Sensitive: yes....
254. Gay: YEAH
255. Strong: for my size and biological sex, yeah!
256. Weak: emotionally
257. Caring: only about select few people
258. Dangerous: no way
259. Crazy: meh
260. Spontaneous: not really
261. Funny: not at all
262. Sweet: nah
263. Sharing: yeah
264. Responsible: no way
265. Trustworthy: sorta
266. Open-minded: very much so
267. Creative: not a single big
268. Cute: pffft nah
269. Slick: ?
270. Smart: no
271. Dumb: yes
272. Evil: no
273. Ghetto: no
274. Classy: nah
275. Photogenic: nooop
276. Dependable: sorta
277. Greedy: yes
278. Ugly: i'm alright
279. Messy: yes
280. Neat: eghg
281. Perverted: unfortunately
282. Silly: yep
283. A B****: ugh
284. A Good Listener: i would if people would talk to me
285. A Fighter: uh
286. A Party Animal: nah
287. A Game Freak: sorta
288. A Computer Freak: oh yes

Section Fourteen: Future

289. Dream job: graphic design or illustrating or game design idk somethin like that
290. Dream house: somethin small with trees, animals, and occasional snow outside
291. Husband/Wife: i don't want to get married tbh
292. Kids: NO.
293. Names: go away
294. Pets: a skunk or ferret
295. Car: still gonna get back to you on that
296. Age you would want to get married: no
297. Best Man/Bride's Maid: uh
298. Honeymoon: hell

Section Fifteen: Your friends 

299. Best friend: that's a really hard question i'm not sure if i have best friend
300. Known the longest: dA user ewwshang. all the way back into out 1st grade class together lmao
301. Craziest: hmm
302. Loudest: UHh
303. Shyest: brynn yeehah
304. Best hair: eghg
305. Best eyes: EGH
306. Best body: uuighg
307. Most Athletic: brynn if vae still did cross country heh
308. Hot-Tempered: uhh
309. Most impatient: me i think
310. Shortest: that md
311. Tallest: dan
312. Skinniest: brynn
313. Best singer: uh
314. Funniest: shane
315. Can always make you laugh: this is pretty much the previous question
316. Wish you talked to more: brynn
317. Wish you saw more: jasper, emo, mihael, and kyle...
318. Who drives you insane after a while: nah

319. Who you can stay around forever and never get sick of: all these questions are the same
320. Ever lose a friend because you took it to the 'next level': y e h a
321. Whose always been there when you need them: brynn, myca, and ivan
322. Who is like your family: luke and myca!
323. How many friends do you have?: a lot! big difference between close and mutual obviously heh
324. How many are really close? hm i would say five!

Section Sixteen: The last

325. Thing you ate: buttered bread
326. Thing you drank: water
327. Thing you wore: tshirt and pajama pants
328. Thing you did: check tumblr
329. Place you went: pennsylvania
330. Thing you got pierced or tattooed: pierced ears when i was a tiny lil baby lmaooo
331. Person you saw: my sister
332. Person you hugged: my siiiiister
333. Person you kissed: ivan
334. skippin
335. Person you talked to online: jasper i think!
336. Person you talked to on the phone: mom ?
337. Song you heard: i'm on the train with my sis sharin headphones i believe the song was "so sick" by ne-yo
338. Show you saw: bojack horsemaaaaan
339. Time you fought with your parents: last week pffpfft
340. Time you fought with a friend: ughh g
341. Words you said: drumley is mine

Section Seventeen: Now

343. What are you eating: nothin
344. What are you drinking: nothing
345. What are you thinking: why you gotta b so rude
346. What are you wearing: last year's band tshirt, some black pants and my black/blue skate shoes yeaha
347. What are you doing: ridin on the train
349. Hair: kinda fluffy cause i showered
350. Mood: hmm
351. Listening to: rude by magic ....
352. Talking to anyone: my sister occasionally!
353. Watching anything: nah

Section Eighteen: Yes or No

354. Are you a vegetarian: no
355. Are you a carnivore: uh
356. Are you heterosexual: nope
357. Do you like penguins: pls i was obsessed with them from 3rd-6th grade of course i still like them
358. Do you write poetry: AAAHAHA no
359. Do you see stupid people: wha
360. You + Me: what
361. Do you like the Osbournes: uh
362. Can you see flying pigs: no
363. Do you sleep with stuffed animals on your bed: heck yeah
364. Are you from Afghanistan: nah
365. Is Christina Aguilera ugly: what is with all these christina aguilera questions
366. Are you a zombie: no

367. Am i annoying you: these questions are fuckin stupid
368. Do you bite your nails: noop
369. Can you cross your eyes: yeah
370. Do you make your bed in the morning: yeAH
371. Have you touched someone's private part: YEAH!!!!

Section Nineteen: This or That

372. Winter or Summer: winter
373. Spring or Autumn: autumn
374. Shakira or Britney: no
375. MTV or VH1: uh
376. Black or White: GREY
377. Yellow or Pink: both wtf i love them both so much
378. Football or Basketball: football
379. Mobile Phone or Pager: phone
380. Pen or Pencil: pencil
381. Cold or Hot: cold
382. Tattoos or Piercings: tattoos
383. Inside or Outside: both
384. Weed or Alcohol: alcohol
385. Coke or Pepsi: pepsi!
386. Tape or Glue: glue
387. McDonald's or In-n-Out: in n out yoooooo

Section Twenty: Opinions

388. What do you think about classical music: great!
389. About boy bands: yeah!
390. About suicide: no.
391. About people who try to force their opinions on you: u suk
392. About teen pregnancy: u do not know what you got yourself into
393. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years: queer and ready to win
394. Who do you think you'll still be friends with in 5 years: maybe not as close but remaining friends with everyone because they're great and awesome people
395. About gay men: they're really excellent and great people when i turn 18 i will be a gay man too

Section Twenty-One:

396. Do you have a website: sorta it's just accounts on photo-sharin websites basically
397. Current weather right now: hella breezy but nice
398. Current time: 12:09 pm
399. Any shout outs: my cat leroy
400. Last thoughts: my eyes are dry and my phone needs charging i did this meme over the course of three days cause i only had enough time bye
maybe one day

i'll see a cinnadog
who is not facing to the left of the screen in a very standard pose with one of its arms down and one up

so anyway as said in a previous journal my drumline practices started up and i made it into the snareline which is a really big step for me

and come to think of it, i've progressed a whole lot in music

i started with piano (of course…being asian and all, lmao) and i liked it and continued until about 5th grade when i started playing flute from 5th-8th grade

though,i had always bullshitted through it
not practicing, not learning how to read notes, basically just being lazy about it and not taking it seriously
for four whole years

but alongside during the fourth year of playing flute, i took a risk to advance, and learned a new instrument, electric bass
it was fun, something new, and i liked it. even bought my own bass with almost all of my own money

starting highschool, i wanted to play bass for marching season. i was so excited, but unfortunately, we already had a bass player in the pit. two, actually. who were both competing to be the one who plays.
and so, i gave up that spot and told the pit instructor that i would just be an alternate for bass or synth. and then i nearly quit. then he interested me into playing in the auxiliary.
i had never done anything like that before, and was honestly a bit nervous because i didn't really know a thing about percussion

i didn’t even expect myself to try percussive instruments at all that year or any time at all

but that year, my freshman year
damn i loved it so much
so much that i had the courage to try drumline the next year(this year), and started out trying the easiest drum, marching bass

and now look at me
for junior year i am marching snare

i am very proud and excited for myself

i am a very busy boy and i have lots of homework PLUS winterline competition this saturday

i'll get my two trades done as well as all of the requests soon
i hope you're all doing well
  • Eating: some cupcakes that i made
A kludge (or kluge) is a workaround, quick-and-dirty solution, clumsy, inelegant, difficult to extend, hard to maintain yet effective and quick solution to a problem.

An ill-assorted collection of poorly-matching parts, forming a distressing whole

a hastily improvised and poorly thought-out solution to a fault or 'bug'

In the typical machinations of language in evolutionary growth, the word "Kludge" eventually came to mean "not so smart" or "pretty ridiculous"

thanks wikipedia