I cannot finish this. I delayed it completely until I got the last chapter and a few other things done, and by then my passion for this section was drained and I hit major writer's block. It's taken me this long to concede defeat, but I've just gotta put it out in its current state and move on to the last section so it stops clogging every other project. If there's anything unfinished you're curious about, feel free to ask in the comments. Some spoilers follow. BEST TV SHOW Didn't See Before Now But Probably Would Like: Mindhunter, The Punisher, American Vandal, Adventure Time: Islands (I fell off AT a while back and have only binge-watche

Welcome to the long-delayed part of the awards where I get to gush about all my favorite things of the last year. I'll spare you a long introduction and just say that we could all use a bit of positivity in our lives, so without further ado, here you go. Like 2016's awards, this will encompass only the film section -- TV and anime (which I'm even more enthusiastic about chronicling) will be in Part 2, and video games will end us off. As always, while nothing spoilery gets actively described, some contextual spoilers follow. FILM BEST FILM 10. Super Dark Times Horrific violence committed by kids and teens is so unforgivably commonplace no

FILM WORST FILM Dishonorable Mentions: Alien: Covenant, The Book of Henry, The Snowman 3. The Bye-Bye Man By normal qualifiers, January horror trash fire The Bye-Bye Man would take first place on this list -- it's rife with incredibly poor acting, cinematography below the par of a student film, incompetent and flaccid scares, C-grade special effects, inexplicable lapses in logic, and plot holes galore. How it got into theaters, except by including Faye Dunaway and Carrie-Anne Moss in minor roles, boggles the mind. But I can't rank it above the final two for a simple reason, which is that watching The Bye-Bye Man is an absolute blast in wa

Since the Gangrenous Trench Foot Awards doc is pushing the boundaries of publishable length already, I'm just typing this up as a little formal introduction. 2017 was a... bizarre year. In terms of politics, everything spiraled wildly out of control in every department from executive conduct to FCC corruption to general international respectability. It's still quite weird to think about, like a long national fever dream. But in terms of media as well, we were spoiled for choice on both masterpieces in every medium and some of the most rancid trash in years, the sheer breadth of which made these awards as fun just to compile as to type up. S

I know I'm a lot later than even 2016's set for a lot of reasons, including a huge backlog of things I have to write, but the Fourth Annual Golden Gas Mask and Gangrenous Trench Foot Awards WILL still be a thing in the upcoming days. Just letting anyone who cares know.