Reflections are deceptively simple. They can show you many things, especially if you're a seer, like Aster, who sometimes gets visions when looking at mirrors and other reflective surfaces.
Reflections can also be tricky when you're transgender. They can be distressing or uplifting, depending on how you feel about what you see.
As my own body changes, I sometimes find my gaze caught by something new. I've been on estrogen a little over a year and half now, and spironolactone for a year prior to that. I look so different, these days, and I finally don't cringe when I look in the mirror. Part of that is because I've had physical changes, but part of it is because I've done a LOT of mental work to accept and love the person I see in the mirror. And I finally do. Yes, there are things I'd love to change, but I'm finally happy with where my life is heading, in spite of a terrifying and frequently debilitating illness.
I've been wanting to celebrate that happiness for a while, and who better than my constant companion in my transition, Aster?
Aster was my first outlet for me being trans, before I could properly admit it. Played on a roleplaying game way back in 2003, when I was but a wee Kiwihobbit, Aster sprang up on a WoD Changeling game and gave me an outlet. At the time, she was envisioned as a rare, and thus hunted, male Swanmay (think Swan Lake) who was pretty enough to be able to disguise herself as female. Once she found a powerful enough patron, she dropped the disguise and simply lived as a beautiful boy. But it always felt forced, because that was a story other people wanted me to tell.
Back in 2015, Aster got re-envisioned. Still a swanmay, but now firmly identifying as female. At the same time Aster solidified her gender identity, I was doing the same. I'm almost three years into my transition, and I can't believe it.
I have been sick and nearly bed bound for several days, so didn't have the energy to finalize and upload this render until today.
On the downside, I've felt like crap. On the upside, I already had the render set up, and I used my bed rest days to utilize my PC's computing more fully, since this took literally THREE SOLID DAYS to render.
I've had this render ready to start for at least two weeks, but couldn't spare my PC that long.
I really, really need a better computer... and better healthcare.