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About Literature / Artist Official Beta Tester SammyFemale/Australia Groups :iconprojectdfc: ProjectDFC
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Deviant for 11 Years
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Statistics 943 Deviations 20,253 Comments 72,944 Pageviews

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Sensory Implosion
The rush of a cool breeze calms me
Centring my being in a more melodic and wistful place
And in this place, the ache of overload slams my consciousness
Pain from tiny pinpricks rises, blood forming across the surface and ebbing down my fingertips
Each sense is shattered – trembling, floundering, pounding from the overload of a thousand concerts
A million conversations
A hundred awkward moments
In only one night.
I wrap myself in the biggest blanket imaginable
It is all pomp, all circumstance and more substance than you can fathom
But the weather is summery with a touch of crackling fire across the skin
        -  I am torn between hugging this blanket for dear life
                          Or saving skin from turning charcoal –
Each step in the world can be measured by how easy I find it to brea
:iconkiwi-damnation:kiwi-damnation 2 6
FLF 4 2018 by kiwi-damnation FLF 4 2018 :iconkiwi-damnation:kiwi-damnation 0 0 FLF 3 2018 by kiwi-damnation FLF 3 2018 :iconkiwi-damnation:kiwi-damnation 0 0 FLF 2 2018 by kiwi-damnation FLF 2 2018 :iconkiwi-damnation:kiwi-damnation 1 0
After Seizures
Trying to write after seizures is like
                           d  o  g         
             b  i  s  c  u  i  t  s
as torrential rains
p  o&
:iconkiwi-damnation:kiwi-damnation 5 9
Mature content
A Mind Besieged :iconkiwi-damnation:kiwi-damnation 7 4
FLF 1 2018 by kiwi-damnation FLF 1 2018 :iconkiwi-damnation:kiwi-damnation 2 2
Just Own Yourself (JOY)
A tiny cluster of matter, exploding into awareness as a small flame out into the ever-reaching nothingness. It begins slowly, as a burgeoning star in a nebula, rhythmically dancing energy across its surface like blue flames
cleansing, coursing across the room as molten electricity enraptures neurons with their flamenco. Blues, golds, reds and blacks light the sky
Fireworks of synesthesia
spreading iridescent ochres throughout the darker listless space. Warmth chases coolness as vibrations stir from the core of the being, radiating bursts of sound and colours, resonating JOY.
Like a seed, one can only grow when given light, water and space to grow. if neglected, shunted into the dimmest corner of the harshest rock, few will survive. If damaged, broken and crushed, fewer still.
But if a seed can find, even in a brief moment, light enough to survive, and space enough to grow, then that seed will produce a plant far different to the ones kindly tended. This plant will be hardy and weak, wi
:iconkiwi-damnation:kiwi-damnation 3 0
Psychogenic Seizures
The stone sinks deeper
Its smooth surface glinting in the light as it
Sucked into an abyss of cerulean and indigo
Where not two moments before
It lay in my hand.
The clothes strangled limbs
Smothering skin, gripping muscles
Making them both stifled and chafed
Each thread of fabric rubbing and cutting
Slicing and shearing
Rashes rush to meet the cloth
Dancing along forearms and underarms
Around shins and behind knees
A contagion that remains nonplussed by discomfort
And mocks the bearer intensely.
The world is spinning but all is numb
Its dizzying array of lights and colours matches the blurry nothingness
Where all dreams come to die and all hopes to wither
There is nothing in this place but confusion and desolation
Irritation and desperation
For as every thought falls, like a stone, into the water,
Never again being able to be accessed,
Every feeling chokes and cleaves the skin from my being
Rubbing the soul raw, and leaving the mind blank.
I need to communicate but n
:iconkiwi-damnation:kiwi-damnation 6 27
We Are The Helpers
We are the helpers,
The carers of the maimed,
Our journeys balance out the bad,
You may not know our names.
The mother welcomed all the kids,
Two lived up the street,
She held them as they often hid,
From those who greet and beat,
Their trembling figures gripped in fear,
But fam’ly never found them here,
As trembling,
As trembling,
She never let the danger near.
We are the helpers,
The carers of the maimed,
Our journeys balance out the bad,
You may not know our names.
The teacher watched his raucous class,
Dismember one with words,
And took the savage ones to task,
On all that he had heard,
Yet as they left, he told the boy,
That "scum will always try destroy",
Yet as they left,
Yet as they left,
"Don’t let them rob you of your joy".
 We are the helpers,
The carers of the maimed,
Our journe
:iconkiwi-damnation:kiwi-damnation 5 6
Mature content
Secret Santa :iconkiwi-damnation:kiwi-damnation 2 3
DFC 2017: 2. Fact-based Fear
The guru says we should not fear,
For fear shall still the form,
And in its place, naught will appear,
But panic’s torrid storm.
‘You must release the harried thoughts’
‘You mustn’t now delay’
‘For in your mind, you will be caught,
And left as humble prey’
But how does one release the fear?
The terror in the soul,
How can one hope to safely steer,
Past dangers t’wards a goal?
When obstacles amass and plague,
The spirit and the mind,
The guru’s words sound very vague,
And peace one cannot find.
‘You must release the harried thoughts’
‘You mustn’t now delay’
‘For in your mind, you will be caught,
And left as humble prey’
When illness shreds one from within,
Claiming damaged cells,
One feels no comfort in their skin,
Their body lives in hell.
Yet guru says ‘You must believe
:iconkiwi-damnation:kiwi-damnation 4 4
DFC 2017 Form Chart by kiwi-damnation DFC 2017 Form Chart :iconkiwi-damnation:kiwi-damnation 10 5
Leave Us
Paper-like tendrils that drift through the air,
They flutter like hearts that have never been bare,
Like passengers boarding a train to nowhere,
They shake and they shiver and gather in pairs,
Care not for their fallen, their friends cast around,
Their ambers and ochres, their bloodied and brown,
Don’t think of their bodies, as one by one down:
Leaving bones of their keeper and nary a sound.
:iconkiwi-damnation:kiwi-damnation 6 8
Sometimes change is an eruption, a vast implosion that sees all semblance of life destroyed before its wake. It comes in stages, from the smallest ripple to the most destructive inferno, ripping through buildings like a being possessed. It can be a whisper, a word or a moment, that carries with it the weight of an anvil and the cleave of a scythe. It is written in anger and enacted in rage, with hope’s tendrils weaving around each action as the fire singes all that existed before. There is no more of that old life or old relationship. There is no old you. There is only now.
And what you choose to do with it.
:iconkiwi-damnation:kiwi-damnation 5 2
The Journey of a Thousand Doors
The corridor is backlit with a thousand darkened hues
With purples and with shades of grey amidst the midnight blues
And as she wanders past the doors, she wonders if it's true
That past their oaken doorframes, there are places bright and new.
As her fingers grasp each handle, the steel cooling to her touch,
All her thoughts attack like buzzards, cleaving as they clutch,
She waits for silent moments, when their noise is not so much,
When thinking gives her clarity to find her journey's crutch.
There may be peace beyond this, where the air is not so thick,
Where each step is not weighed down by a tonne or two of brick,
Perhaps a land of joy and wonder, where no one lingers sick,
It surely cannot be that this is just a heartless trick.
The corridor is what she knows, though she has walked through doors,
She's known at least one happy tale, and felt the warmth before,
The grass beyond one lovely gate allowed her soul to soar,
As sunlight greeted arctic skin and dared her to explore.
:iconkiwi-damnation:kiwi-damnation 6 8



Made with pride by the DeviantArt community BROWSE ALL ART

Are you ready for DFC 2017? 

10 deviants said OMG HELL YES :eager:
4 deviants said I will watch :)
3 deviants said Not my deal but thanks though.
2 deviants said Okay sure, but what is it?


The rush of a cool breeze calms me

Centring my being in a more melodic and wistful place

And in this place, the ache of overload slams my consciousness


Pain from tiny pinpricks rises, blood forming across the surface and ebbing down my fingertips

Each sense is shattered – trembling, floundering, pounding from the overload of a thousand concerts

A million conversations

A hundred awkward moments

In only one night.


I wrap myself in the biggest blanket imaginable

It is all pomp, all circumstance and more substance than you can fathom

But the weather is summery with a touch of crackling fire across the skin

        -  I am torn between hugging this blanket for dear life

                          Or saving skin from turning charcoal –



Each step in the world can be measured by how easy I find it to breathe.

Some days I am Matilda in the Chokey – smoke, blades and spikes crowded around me, threatening to destroy everything!

Whilst others give me a glimmering fragment of hope, allowing me to take a moment and feel:

                                                the lilting lullabies of the winds caressing the grass,
                                                                the soft coos of a quail
                                                                                and the gravelly hum of my spirit alight again.


I feel the deepest elation and most soul-crushing desolation.I live all extreme realities and it makes me different, perhaps a bit weird. But I guess that’s okay.


It makes me both human and superhuman. It makes me an

Sensory Implosion
I found out last November that I have Asperger's and am an Aspienwoman. This has been an interesting journey of shock, realisation and self-acceptance for me and one of the things that has always affected me is hypersensitivity with my senses. I feel, taste, smell and experience so much all the time that it overloads my circuits and it is one of the reasons why I suffer from migraines and seizures. I've been feeling the build-up internally a lot recently, so this is the result. 

Love you guys,


:dummy with a sword: by iDJPandaWelcome, welcome once again...

Welcome back to Prose-ject, and what better event to serenade your sweet return than our biggest Prose-ject challenge yet, Prose-ject 2018! I chose The Musketeers cause they're awesome and why the hell not? 

This challenge will be our main annual challenge, featuring a combination of word targets and prompts for every single day of June. 

It sounds scary...

Well not quite THAT scary...

Not that scary either...

Hmmm maybe we should just start with...

knight Fight by MixedMilkChOcOlate  Prose-ject 2018  knight Fight by MixedMilkChOcOlate

:shake sword: by xxhiccupxxFor each day of Prose-ject 2018, you will be required to write at least 250 words.

:shake sword: by xxhiccupxx Choosing one of the five prompts of the day.

1. A visual piece from one of dA's finest.
2. A written piece from one of our prolific kinsmen.
3. An inspiring/ thought-provoking quote.
4. A flash written prompt.
5. A video that intrigues and stimulates your creativity.

Sword Fight by ZeragaThe Rules

light saber  All pieces written for this challenge need to have the following in the artist's comments:

                1. The name of this challenge
                2. A link to this journal
                3. The prompt used

light saber Please send us a note, a comment, or place your pieces directly into the Prose-ject 2018 Folder

 Please comment, fave and love all over the pieces we showcase this month :love:

Not THAT kind of love...
 Be kind, helpful and non-abusive. We have no time for hate.

Sword Fight by ZeragaThis challenge runs from 12am June 1st GMT to 12am July 1st GMT.  Sword Fight by Zeraga

June 1st 2018   

3.    "Just living is not enough... one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower."
 -  Hans Christian Anderson

4. precocious

5. MitiS - Moments (feat. Adara)

June 2nd 2018   

3.    "Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive."
 -  Dalai Lama

4. invigorate

5. Celtic Music - Ean Grimm

June 3rd 2018

1 Love by ToXicLoveKid

Love by ToXicLoveKid

2 i can't keep walking on these dry-rot bones by counting-vertebrae

3 "Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud."
- Maya Angelou

4 Limitless

5 Illenium - Beautiful Creatures (feat. MAX)

June 4th 2018

1 Hope Chest by wolfmorphine

Hope Chest by wolfmorphine

2 heart speak by betwixtthepages

3. "Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth."
- Benjamin Disraeli

4. parting shot

5. Idina Menzel - Queen of Swords

June 5th 2018   

The Rise by batjorge

2. No. 10 by MaggotsX 

3.    "Just as treasures are uncovered from the earth, so virtue appears from good deeds, and wisdom appears from a pure and peaceful mind.
To walk safely through the maze of human life, one needs the light of wisdom and the guidance of virtue.

 -  Buddha

4. jet fuel

5. 3 Hours of Creepy, Ominous & Dark Piano Music by Peder B Helland

June 6th 2018   

3.    "The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires."
 -  William Arthur Ward

4. proliferate

5. 'Nebulae' - Liquid Drum and Bass Mix by Fluidified

June 7th 2018   

3.    "Justice is never given, it is exacted. Freedom is never granted, it is won."
 -  A. Phillip Randolph

4. educate

5. Peaceful Gregorian Chants 432 Hz by Spiritual Moment

June 8th 2018   

3.    "Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory.
Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.
 -  Lewis B. Smedes

4. written in shadows and blood

5. Background Suspense Music - Fesliyan Studios

June 9th 2018   

3.    "Within the hearts of men, loyalty and consideration are esteemed greater than success."
 -  Bryant H. McGill

4. stars

5. Art of Silence by Uniq

June 10th 2018

1. Blue water Creek by 3DLandscapeArtist

Blue water Creek by 3DLandscapeArtist

2. Ghosts amid the Ivy by Barosus

3. "Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love." 
Mother Teresa 

4. horatio

5. Cognition Enhancer (Isochronic tones) - Brainwave Power Music

June 11th 2018

1. Cosmos by Ophelia-Noir

Cosmos by Ophelia-Noir

2. Tattoo of the cosmos (a poem about astronomy  by the-bigdipper

3. "I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism
and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality...
I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word."

- Dr Martin Luther King Jr

4. reliquary

5. Skyrim Exploration Suite - Jeremy Soule


June 12th 2018

1. Cold Snowby GUWEIZ

Cold Snow by GUWEIZ

2. The Wolf Came Second by zippip

3. "Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then, always be a unicorn."
- Jaime Murray

4. the price of freedom

5. Craigslist Free Cello ft. Dana DeLorenzo


June 13th 2018

1. Eleven from Stranger Thingsby NickyBarkla

Eleven from Stranger Things by NickyBarkla

2. xiii - misfortune by foxseason

3. "Our friend has superpowers, and she squeezed your tiny bladder with her mind!" Dustin Henderson (Gaten Matarazzo) - Stranger Things - Season 1: Chapter Six: The Monster

4. freak

5. Lip Sync Battle - Melissa McCarthy and Jimmy Fallon


June 14th 2018

1. Stardustby MagicLaDyCharm

Stardust by MagicLaDyCharm

2. An Excellent Deal by RalfMaximus

3. "We are asking you to be better, to look deeper, to read and learn about mental illness, suicide and depression before you make it worse for survivors by judging that which we do not understand, that which can never fully be understood."
- Rose McGowan

4. survivors

5. I'm Breaking Down - Falsettos (The Musical) - Sung by Stephanie J Block


June 15th 2018

1. Xena and Eveby kiabonitta

Xena and Eve by kiabonitta

2. The Mysterious Case of the Cat in the.. by BlueNightFire

3. "Treat everyone the same until you find out they're an idiot."
- Lucy Lawless

4. uncoordinated

5. The Love of Your Love (Forgive Me) - Xena Warrior Princess - The Bitter Suit - Lucy Lawless


June 16th 2018

1. Fairy Taleby Kurtzan

Fairy Tale by Kurtzan

2. Animate by hopeburnsblue

3. "Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world."
- Harriet Tubman

4. emergence

5. Relaxing Disney Music - 1 Hour Beautiful & Emotional Disney Collection


June 17th 2018

1. A Chance Meetingby indigoatmosphere

A Chance Meeting by indigoatmosphere

2. old souls can't breathe by rialovesfanfic

3. "Life is about how much you can take and keep fighting, how much you can suffer and keep moving forward."
- Anderson Silva

4. about face

5. This is Your Fight Song (Rachel Platten Scottish Cover) - The Piano Guys


June 18th 2018

1. In the middle of somethingby augustchristopher

In the middle of something by augustchristopher

2. breaking by SinjaWolfpaw

3. "Certain rhythms just have certain moods."
- Dennis Brown

4. finding your rhythm

5. Upbeat Instrumental Work Music | Background Happy Energetic Relaxing Music for Working Fast & Focus


June 19th 2018

1. Jelliesby AndrewMcIntoshArt

Jellies by AndrewMcIntoshArt

2. alight by ilyilaice

3. "If you fell down yesterday, stand up today."
- H. G. Wells

4. getting up is hard to do

5. Try Everything - Zootopia - Sung by Shakira


June 20th 2018

1. If these wings could flyby 1chick1

If these wings could fly by 1chick1

2. goodbye by wei-en

3. "Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live."
- Norman Cousins

4. phoenix

5. Get Back Up Again (Trolls) - Anna Kendrik


June 21st 2018

1. The glimmering eyesby differnt

The glimmering eyes  by differnt

2. Thawing by SilverInkblot

3. "Never cut a tree down in the wintertime. Never make a negative decision in the low time. Never make your most important decisions when you are in your worst moods. Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come."
- Robert H. Schuller

4. spring has sprung

5. Four Seasons - Vivaldi - 10 Hours Relaxing Classical Music for Studying, Conventration And Sleeping


June 22nd 2018

1. You're Grateby r0se-designs

You're Grate! by r0se-designs

2. Interossicular Space by Memnalar

3. "Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."
- Mark Twain

4. I've heard it said

5. In the Hall of the Mountain King - Grieg


June 23rd 2018

1. Art Collab: Angel's Tearsby BeckySai-less

Art Collab: Angel's Tears by BeckySai-less

2. dear soul, i accept you by a-nothing-girl

3. "The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance."
- Brian Tracy

4. love yourself

5. Canon in D - Johan Pachelbel


June 24th 2018

1. Take care of your Heartby PAtScHWOrK

Take care of your Heart by PAtScHWOrK

2. To The Men Who Burnt Witches by UntamedUnwanted

3. "In the past, men created witches: now they create mental patients."
- Thomas Szasz

4. infamous

5. Upbeat & Epic Celitc Music | The Best of Irish Medieval Music - Adrian von Ziegler


June 25th 2018

1. Hearthstone: Ghostlight Anglerby KangJason

Hearthstone: Ghostlight Angler by KangJason

2. from the inside out by Medoriko

3. "Depression is the inability to construct a future."
- Rollo May

4. what the future holds

5. Thunderstruck - 2 Cellos


June 26th 2018

1. Des reves plein le teteby JessicaSansiquet

Des reves plein la tete by JessicaSansiquet

2. Hospital Poetry 2017-18 by RosaryOfSighs

3. "Man is by nature a political animal."
- Aristotle

4. a prayer on his/her lips

5. Stampede - Alexander Jean ft Lindsey Stirling


June 27th 2018

1. ENIDby DanielPriego

ENID by DanielPriego

2. The Circle of Shame by ZahrahLeona

3. "It would be impossible to estimate how much time and energy we invest in trying to fix, change and deny our emotions - especially the ones that shake us at our very core, like hurt, jealousy, loneliness, shame, rage and grief."
- Debbie Ford/b>

4. I am not ashamed

5. Never Enough - The Greatest Showman (Male Version vs Real Opera Singer)


June 28th 2018

1. Daily Paint 2038# Pugsideonby Cryptid-Creations

Daily Paint 2038# Pugsideon by Cryptid-Creations

2. Child's Play by xfuture-boundx

3. "Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened."
- Anatole France

4. by the skin of your teeth

5. Carnival - Sterling EQ


June 29th 2018

1. Catowl's Nestby LadyEvilArts

Catowl's Nest by LadyEvilArts

2. Canon in D by Captain-Random

3. "Being ignorant is not so much a shame, as being unwilling to learn."
- Benjamin Franklin

4. I would do anything for love...but I won't do THAT

5. Beautiful Trauma - P!nk


June 30th 2018

1. Rain Feelingsby FlashW

Rain Feelings by FlashW

2. The Nanny by ReinaHW

3. "It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men."
- Frederick Douglass

4. check the children

5. First Light - Lindsey Stirling

I hope you all enjoy the spread for Prose-ject 2018


kiwi-damnation's Profile Picture
Artist | Literature
Hey guys! I'm Sam a.k.a kiwi-damnation.

I am a massage therapist by day and artist by night. I love to create in many different ways and especially enjoy the incredible world of fixed form poetry. I run a group ProjectDFC devoted to preserving the art of fixed form poetry and bringing you all along for the ride.

Seriously though, I love dA and all it represents and I look forward to reading/gazing upon all of your art. You all amaze me. Thank you for the privilege of sharing this journey with you.

Aaaaand you can find my photography on kiwi-damnation-stock

Adios amigos!


Give me a topic and a fixed form that you would like and I will create something specially for you.
Give me your favourite colours or a shape or an idea you would like and I will do my best to create it for you.


Add a Comment:
JustACapharnaum Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2018
Thank you for the watch! 
LadyLincoln Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
Thank A4 by Alimera

I appreciate your recent :+fav:s, darling one. :heart:
MagicalJoey Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2018  Hobbyist Writer
Hiya Samster, it is me...on lappy...hands FUBAR but typing...

...why, you ask? (In that annoying psychic 'I know the answer to this question' way of yours)


I know I am often not easy to like or put up with. I can be stubborn and an utter asshat. I am needy as fuck and simultaneously desire human contact and friends while pushing people away (before they leave me anyway being the thought there). I am a conundrum, a confusion...a fucking goddamn mess...
... are still here.

You listen, advise, care and love with your whole heart, even when you are not in a good space. You let me rant and send you several million voice notes for when you wake up. You sit up with me when I feel shitty and desperate to end things. You remain calm and talk me down. You care. You fucking care. You tell me I am awesome and loved and talented, and even though my head says it is BS you know a teeny, tiny, weeny part of me starts to believe just a bit more each time...
... do all this while coping with your own personal stressors/issues/demons and crap.

You are the second bravest person I know. You are talented beyond what is humanly possible and you have a heart the size of...something huge and not cliche like a mountain. You make my life better just because you exist. I am nothing without you...I wouldn't be alive if you were not around.

I love you with all my heart is capable of and more. Stay strong. Stay brave. Stay the fucking warrior queen, ass-kicking Ozian you are. (You even make your goddamn country bearable for me :heart: which is something considering how I hate it).

Love and light. Love, love, LOVE and light. ALWAYS.
IsabellaMichel Featured By Owner Edited May 18, 2018  Student Writer
Well?!?! Where is the link to your book? I want to buy it!

I hope 2018 is treating you well. :D
kiwi-damnation Featured By Owner May 19, 2018   Writer
Sorry been slack. Thanks for the prompting, I need to get on that.
IsabellaMichel Featured By Owner May 21, 2018  Student Writer
Yes! Let me know when you do. :D
DamhsoirBreacadh Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2017   Writer
Thank you so much for the fav! :hug:
MadPrinceFeanor Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2017  Professional Writer
Also, :glomp: :heart:
kiwi-damnation Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2017   Writer
Hehe :huggle:
MadPrinceFeanor Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2017  Professional Writer
Annaivri Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy birthday! :party:
kiwi-damnation Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2017   Writer
Thank you :)
Annaivri Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You're welcome. :aww:
birthdays Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2017
:woohoo: :party: :iconcakelickplz: !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :iconcakelickplz: :party: :woohoo:

It's October 28th which means it's that time of the year again and your special day is here! We hope you have an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year!

Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team :love:

Birthdays Team
This birthday greeting was brought to you by: HelloSunniLove
kiwi-damnation Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2017   Writer
Thank you :)
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