Hey everybody, I am so sorry for being quite and away but the truth it I am super depressed right now and having a hard time lifting my head.
I have recently finished university and it has left me feeling…empty to say the least. I have a glass that just won’t fill.
I have lost the ability to do anything creative: drawing, cosplay, singing, you name it. I just couldn't give a fucking damn.
I am feeling restless. I want adventure, I want to walk streets I have never seen, new faces and smiles, smells and taste and I just have no idea how to find it. I want to move out of my country and get a job elsewhere for a while but without the correct funding that is not happening.
Now it’s not the waiting that is killing me it’s the decision of what to do. I have a boyfriend you see and it’s not that I don’t love him I just feel really tied down and trapped. How can I leave my life behind with him apart of it? How can I break his heart and tell him I may have to move on without him? There are some other complicated parts that keeps me tied but I won’t go into that.
Along with this I am not eating much due to a loss of appetite and whenever I do eat I feel really sick about half way through and have to bite my lip to stop it. I have been force to leave some of my best friends in the world and independence behind to be plunged into the world of the past.
I feel so lost and don’t know what to do. I can’t stop my mood going up and down and I keep randomly crying and feeling dizzy.
I really hope letting it all out here will help.
Thanks to everyone who made it this far and for listening.
MY LITTLE PONY! VOICE REEL (Fluttershy, Rainbowdash, Derpyhooves, Pinkiepie, VinylScratch, Chrysalis, Scooterloo)
And my Youtube channel with some other stuff of mine on...
Thank you everyone for the birthday messages <3