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KirikoWindgeist

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KirikoWindgeist's avatar

I've been getting more and more silent on here. While I somehow do get along with the changes on here, dA just doesn't feel like "home" anymore like it used to.

I see a big activity drop here, while some still do upload and post regularly.

Not to mention the amount of spam bots, it seems they increased ridiculously.


I personally just don't feel good here anymore.


I won't leave this place, as there are contacts I only have here. But I probably won't post here anymore, or very, very rarely.


I linked the most "important" sites I'm on here:

https://kirikowindgeist.carrd.co/

+ the TSm discord server is open to join if you want to keep in touch and would like to see wips and updates to the series:

https://discord.gg/aCxvfTh


I'll still check this site here and then but don't rlly expect any uploads here for idk how long.


Pls take care and stay safe everyone :hug:

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KirikoWindgeist's avatar

Sooner than expected huh? :D

Just a few final things left to do for me now but Saturday it's finally time^^

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KirikoWindgeist's avatar

I've been getting more and more silent on here. While I somehow do get along with the changes on here, dA just doesn't feel like "home" anymore like it used to.

I see a big activity drop here, while some still do upload and post regularly.

Not to mention the amount of spam bots, it seems they increased ridiculously.


I personally just don't feel good here anymore.


I won't leave this place, as there are contacts I only have here. But I probably won't post here anymore, or very, very rarely.


I linked the most "important" sites I'm on here:

https://kirikowindgeist.carrd.co/

+ the TSm discord server is open to join if you want to keep in touch and would like to see wips and updates to the series:

https://discord.gg/aCxvfTh


I'll still check this site here and then but don't rlly expect any uploads here for idk how long.


Pls take care and stay safe everyone :hug:

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KirikoWindgeist's avatar
Could I possibly get your opinion?

So I'm a bit uncertain on what to do here as I never had such a situation before.

I got an email today from someone asking if it was possible to get a high res file of one of my photographs to set up a poster for the museum they're running.

 Person exists, museum exists, phone and mail adress also exist.

On one side I wanna say yes, on the other side I'm very uncertain as I never had such a situation before. And I have no clue about photography licensing etc as I only do photography as a hobby.

 This is the photo in question, they also linked it in the mail they sent me.
 www.deviantart.com/jenniferben…

It's probably also best to sleep over it and have a clearer mind tomorrow then. Maybe I'm also too sceptical but what do you think?
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KirikoWindgeist's avatar
Something happened today which totally threw me off my feet today (mentally).
The person and I were able to talk it out peacefully, but now I'm afraid to loose a friend because of it.

I can't talk about what happened, it's too much of a private thing. But while the person and I talked it out, I remembered something else I was hestitating to tell them, but I somehow have the urge to talk about that thing.

So either I post a journal in the next time or not, or I add a long description on an artwork, I'm not 100% sure yet how to talk about it.

It's not gonna be that private thing ^^;
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KirikoWindgeist's avatar

Update 4.4.

So guess who was "sick" today and didn't go to school... ;)

Such big words but no balls at all.

Also it seems the whole class knows about it now and most apparently stick to my side. I only told 3 peeps on Tuesday and didn't make a big deal out of it today.

Apparently mister tries to get some peeps on his side (and I guess his closest friends - who don't like me either - will stick to him), but the fact that he's choosing the easy way to avoid me shows enough.
More people know he's telling lies. He tells one thing to person A, something else to person B, and something completely different to person C.

And if I wanted to, I could actually file a lawsuit against im for the insults he sent me. Not going to do this though as I don't actually care.

I believe he will not come to school in the next time (except for exam times), to avoid me and the others who are mad at him. Actually I'm not even mad anymore.

Karma will do it's thing.

_______________________________

Original post


On a personal note to the journal I submitted earlier, today I got super super annoyed to say it nicely. Those of you who follow me on twitter might have seen it already.

To explain the background a bit: I kicked someone out of my "driving group" because he still owed me money for gas etc, for months, never decided to talk to me about it, comes too late almost each morning, comes with special wishes and more.
I said it earlier today on twitter that I hate myself for being that patient with some people...

Owing money is a very sensible topic for me, as I had problems with people before, where we agreed on things and I did my part but they refused to do theirs...
But communication is a must and a much more sensible topic. When there are problems, the others I take with me when we gotta get to vocational school do talk to me immediately when something's up, and I also often am like "yeah, it's ok, no rush" as I know how it is to live with a low budget etc. And I also know how it is to be sick and unable to get up etc. I'm actually often pretty chill about things, even tho it doesn't seem like that here.

But I'm tired of running after people...

That person's arguments are
- "You drive that way anyway, so..."
- "The others give you enough for a tank filling"
- "It's no big deal to hold here to let me out, then drive 500 meters further to let the others out"

I'm not a taxi. My car isn't the newest one, and the place we all coincidentally live in is super crowded by the time we're there again after school. It's actually stressing me to drive that extra way because it's that crowded then. Also everyone agreed on that meeting point. Everyone agreed on the amount of money I asked for when taking them with me, which is much less than the amount you need to pay for the bus tickets in a month.
The car doesn't drive with air and love.
Owning a car doesn't mean it only needs gas.
And just because others take you with them for free doesn't mean I have to do so aswell.

After I told him I'm no longer taking him with me, he i.a. came with all the money problems he had and that he'd be fighting with his mom to get another 50 bucks. Yesterday or last week tho he was boasting that he got himself such a super nice 20 bucks steak, he buys cigarettes and wastes them, and I'm there like "Yep, you must really really have money problems..."

Might all be true. But I also do know from other sources that he is telling lies after lies...
And knowing that and getting the money problem excuse after I say something is kinda... eh...

Everyone who knows me - and he should now know me a bit aswell - knows that I can be talked to when things are up. No need to expose private stuff to me but I'm chill and will listen as long as respect is shown. Mutual respect.

Today he didn't tell me that he'd come with me after school. He insists that he did, said that I even looked at him and nodded to that. Actually he's not the only one who talks to me, I have friends in my class aswell and we talk or I explain something to them. And it's mostly super loud in our class, that's not the best choice to say something to me in a loud environment when you're not sitting right next to me. Means even if he said that, I didn't hear him. Yes I did turn around there a few times. But that was because I asked someone behind me something. Might have nodded to that, idk, I don't remember each move I did at specific times.
"Ohh don't come to me with that argument" he said.

He then called me inhumane, tried to guilt trip me, called me "asozial" (which would literally translate to anti-social but that's by far not the true meaning) and also told a friend of mine that he'd "make me break down in tears" on thursday in school. I heard the voicemails (my friend sent them over to me) and they were so full of hate. Gotta see if he's got the balls to do that on thursday.

He was also like "The world doesn't turn around you, even if you would like to think that". Yes, I do know that. No, I don't think that. And I never was like "Oh hey I'm so important" or something. But the car is my rightful property, and it's my decision who I take with me or not. And if I'm fed up with your behavior and decide to kick you out then it's been more than enough.
Anger stacks up and when it's getting too hot, it's boiling.

He decided to become insulting, and so the train has definitely left. No more chances buddy.

But yeah. I'm the bad, demonic, inhumane, trashy person. As I always am. :)
And I'm the cause for everything bad in this world. :)

Just had to tell my bff to stay out of it, she's much more pissed about the situation than I am, I personally calmed down a bit by now ^^; Good thing she didn't get and hear the voicemails...

--------

What I wrote here doesn't even describe it all properly I think and I left some things out... I just wanted to let it out, I won't say names or anything, and if you now think I'm a bad and/or toxic person, so be it, feel free to unwatch and block me for good then.

I'm just sitting here and thinking "If I had just said no back then...", I really despise such discussions and I hate to be a dick, but at some point it's more than enough.
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