The Nintendo character Mr. Game & Watch was walking along the sidewalk in a city when suddenly, a cheerleader with a ray gun appeared out of nowhere in front of him.
"Hiya sweetie," the cheerleader said. "Lovely weather, ain't I right?"
"You get out of my face you crazy lady," Game & Watch retorted. "And why are you carrying a ray gun?"
The cheerleader quickly aimed at the 2D man and fired the gun at him.
"You will become one of us!" laughed the cheerleader.
G&W fell to the floor, his 2D body shaking vigorously. A pink light emitted from his body. He floated about 5 feet into the air.
"Yes, it's working! IT'S WORKING!" cheered the cheerleader. "Soon we'll have our first-"
Suddenly, G&W fell back down, unchanged.
The cheerleader was dumbfounded.
"How?!" she questioned.
G&W then proceeded to call the police on the cheerleader.
The cops drove up, took her away, and gave her a death sentence with no final meal.
The moral of the story: Fetishes don't work on everyone.