PEL review: SSB Brawl

Larry: A video game review?

Phoenix: Yeah. The boss says the reason people aren’t taking to these reviews is because we’ve been reviewing anime.

Edgeworth: Yes, but by making us review a video game won’t that increase the risk of him being called a “Psyguy rip-off”?

KHF: I’M NOT TRYING TO RIP HIM OFF! THIS WAS INSPIRED BY HIS IDEA! I FULLY CREDIT HIM FOR THE IDEA! THIS SHOULD BE CONSIDERED A TRIBUTE!

Phoenix: O.o

Edgeworth: o.O

Larry: O.O

Phoenix: Anyway, shall we get on to reviewing the most anticipated Nintendo Wii game: Super Smash Brothers Brawl?

Edgeworth: Have all of us made sure to play it?!

Larry: One time! Just one time I hadn’t seen the anime! Don’t you guys ever let anything go?!

Phoenix: It’s worth noting that we’re not going to be reviewing this game based off the hype. We’re going to give it a fair review.

Larry: This is the best game ever invented!

Phoenix: … well MOST of us are…

Edgeworth: I really wish I could be Prosecuting now…

Phoenix: Would you stop complaining…

Edgeworth: I am not a person who takes an interest in video games; however I did enjoy playing this one very much.

Larry: Yeah boy! It’s awesome!

Phoenix: Indeed. It’s a very good fighting game, especially considering it’s on the Wii, which doesn’t have a good record with fighting games.

Edgeworth: Where to begin? Story? Gameplay? Graphics? Music?

Phoenix: Well once again there isn’t a lot to say for story.

Larry: What are you talking about Nick? What about the Sub… Sub… Sub…

Edgeworth: *sigh* Subspace Emissary mode?

Larry: That’s the one!

Phoenix: Yes, this was an attempt at a story mode. However it didn’t turn out as well as everyone hoped.

Larry: What do you mean? I loved that mode!

Phoenix: Oh no, don’t get me wrong, gameplay-wise it’s kinda fun, but we’re talking about the story itself.

Larry: Oh right that…

Edgeworth: I honestly had no idea what was going on.

Phoenix: Well I’ll try and explain it to the best of my understanding. It starts with Mario and Kirby brawling, with Peach and Zelda watching, and Pit watching from the heavens. Then all of a sudden a dark cloud comes over them and Meta Knight’s ship arrives, but out from it come an army of dark creatures. It’s soon revealed that all the Nintendo villains have teamed up and are now turning everyone into trophies… somehow, so that they can turn them into evil versions of themselves… somehow… that’s about all I understand.

Edgeworth: It was very confusing.

Larry: But the cut-scenes were pretty cool right?

Phoenix: Yes they were, but they had no voice acting at all. A little commentary would have helped the story make more sense.

Larry: But it’s a Super Smash Brothers game, it doesn’t need a deep story. I say just sit back and enjoy the awesome cut-scenes.

Edgeworth: I think that is the best solution. If you can understand what’s going on then I applaud you.

Phoenix: Well I’ll give them credit; it’s a big improvement over the ‘Adventure Mode’ in Melee.

Edgeworth: Well shall we move on to gameplay?

Larry: The gameplay’s awesome!

Phoenix: The gameplay’s pretty much the same as in Melee. You basically just KO your opponents as much as possible using whatever means necessary.

Edgeworth: There are other modes that will have you doing slightly different things, such as target breaking or the Home Run Contest.

Phoenix: But those were also in Melee.

Larry: Ah, but this time you can play two player on them.

Phoenix: Well I’ll give them credit for that, that’s quite neat but if you’re playing with a friend you’ll want to be playing the actual Brawl mode rather then that.

Edgeworth: Indeed, but it does give more of a variety to the game.

Phoenix: In Subspace Emissary mode the game becomes a bit like a platformer. You run from one area to another killing anything that isn’t you.

Larry: Yeah, it’s kinda cool how they managed to incorporate it but it can get pretty boring after a while.

Phoenix: It’s best done in small doses.

Larry: The boss battles were freaking sweet though!

Edgeworth: Well, the “boss battles” were a bit enjoyable but they were incredibly, sometimes even laughably, easy.

Phoenix: It was good that Master Hand and Crazy Hand aren’t the only two bosses you fight this time around, but it’s as Edgeworth says: they were way too easy. There’s no strategy to it, you just dodge their attacks and attack them.

Larry: Well… I guess that’s true… well there’s an online mode this time!

Phoenix: We’ll get to that in a minute, let’s go over some of the new characters and item etc.

Larry: Oh. Okay. Well the character list is awesome this time around!

Phoenix: Well it’s a big improvement over Melee’s character roaster. It seems Nintendo have learned an important lesson about clone characters.

Edgeworth: Pichu, Dr. Mario, Roy, and Young Link have all been removed, as has Mewtwo for an unknown reason.

Larry: I never got that, Mewtwo wasn’t a clone character.

Edgeworth: I’ll assume it has something to do with putting in Lucario.

Phoenix: Well the reason doesn’t matter at this point. This time around the new character have their own original move sets. Any characters left in that were clones before have been improved on somewhat.

Larry: You’re talking about Falco and Ganondorf?

Phoenix: Yes.

Larry: They seem somewhat different but still come off as Fox and Captain Falcon clones as far as special moves go. Maybe I’m just imagining it.

Edgeworth: Moving on, the problem this game faces with it’s character roaster is that there’s a lack of balance.

Larry: I know what you mean! Ike is freaking cheap!

Phoenix: Well that is true, but it’s better then going through all the trouble to unlock a character only to find that they’re a clone of a character you already have.

Larry: That’s true, but he’s still cheap dude.

Phoenix: But that doesn’t mean you should never use him.

Edgeworth: Let it go Wright. They have to have SOMETHING to complain about.

Phoenix: Nothing’s good enough for them is it?

Larry: Hey!

Phoenix: Moving on to new items. There are some really interesting new ones but there’s too many to go through one by one, so let’s address the two biggest ones: Assist Trophies and the Smash Ball.

Edgeworth: Assist trophies work pretty much the same as Pokéballs, except in this case other Nintendo characters appear out of them.

Larry: Hey n00b! Shadow and Grey Fox aren’t Nintendo characters!

Edgeworth: Who really cares Larry?

Phoenix: It’s good to have more then just Pokémon assisting you this time. It defiantly adds a new element to the gameplay.

Edgeworth: Not by a lot though.

Phoenix: Better then nothing.

Larry: Now Smash Balls! They’re awesome!

Phoenix: One of the biggest changes to the gameplay this time around is the ability for a character to perform a super finishing move, or a “Final Smash” as they’ve been named.

Edgeworth: When a glowing ball with the Super Smash Brothers symbol on it appears break it open and…

Larry: BOOM! You become a giant can of whoopass!

Phoenix: Well not every character does…

Larry: Jigglypuff’s one sucks…

Phoenix: This is both a good and a bad new gameplay mechanic. It’s kind of fun, but I have issues with it. Some characters have very over-powered Final Smashes that will knock everyone out with one hit and others have ones that, while powerful, won’t necessarily knock you out, or can be easily dodged.

Edgeworth: Not to mention that when a Smash Ball appears on screen there’s a big race to get it. Everybody forgets about the fight and just rushes straight for it.

Larry: But you can’t really complain about it, there is the option to turn them off guys.

Phoenix: That’s very true.

Larry: Online mode?

Phoenix: Oh right. One of the biggest new modes added was an online mode. Basically you can connect your Wii to the internet and play with people around the world. You can either do this with friends via “friend codes” or play against complete strangers.

Edgeworth: The problem with playing against strangers is that you may be waiting a LONG time.

Larry: Also there are some lag issues.

Edgeworth: A shame really, because the game was delayed so much because they wanted to fix this.

Phoenix: Well the “lag” isn’t THAT bad. Yes, sometimes matches will go VERY slowly, but that hardly ever happens, well at least not to me. You shouldn’t let something like that stop you playing with friends around the world.

Edgeworth: Well that’s about everything for gameplay. I’d give it a…

Larry: Wait Edgy! What about the stage builder?

Edgeworth: Well that’s pretty self-explanatory. You can build your own stage to fight in. It’s very fun but its items to work with are very limited. But the fact that it’s there makes up for that.

Phoenix: Well that about wraps up gameplay. Over-all I’ll give it an eight out of ten. It’s not that different from Melee as far as the fights go, and the new modes are quite fun, although some are pointless.

Larry: Oh crap, we forgot about the fact that you can use different controllers.

Phoenix: *sigh* Fine I’ll sum it up. Yes this time you can play with the Wii controller but there’s also the option to use a classic controller, the nun-chuck, or a Gamecube controller. Personally I’d recommend the Gamecube controller if you’re used to Melee. But whatever you do, DO NOT used the nun-chuck attachment! Its controls are BROKEN!

Larry: Now graphics?

Phoenix: A huge improvement over Melee, and unlike most games I’ve seen on the Wii this one takes full advantage of the Wii’s graphic capabilities. I’d give them a ten out of ten.

Larry: Me too.

Edgeworth: I don’t know. I personally would give them a nine.

Phoenix: Why’s that?

Edgeworth: While they are good on the Nintendo characters and Sonic, characters such as Snake stand out a lot among them.

Phoenix: Well that’s true, but I think that adds to the game’s comedic value. Come on, you can’t say you don’t find it fun…

Edgeworth: … what?

Phoenix: Forget it.

Larry: Heh, forgot Edgy doesn’t have a sense of humour Nick?

Edgeworth: Shut up Larry!

Phoenix: Music?

Edgeworth: Truly a great soundtrack.

Larry: So true.

Phoenix: Agreed. It’s got the perfect mix of classic video game music and newer video game music. There are also some great original tracks. I’d give it a ten.

Larry: Same here.

Edgeworth: Me too.

Larry: Voice acting?

Phoenix: Well there wasn’t a lot of it, but there were the occasional grunts and groans. The only real voice acting you heard was in the taunts.

Edgeworth: All of them were pretty good; they suited the characters well. The only voice I had any real issue with was Ike’s.

Phoenix: Well it wasn’t THAT bad. I’ve heard worse.

Larry: What about the fact that Jason Griffith’s doing Sonic’s voice in this game?!

Phoenix: What about it? He’s Sonic’s voice actor now, so it makes sense…

Larry: But he SUCKS! Ryan Drummond should have come back for this game! He’s a much…

Edgeworth: *smashes open a Smash Ball and starts to glow. Points finger* OBJECTION!

*A huge OBJECTION speech bubble comes out, sending Larry flying off screen resulting in a KO*

Edgeworth: Who really cares about that?!

Phoenix: Watch what you say Edgeworth… you don’t want any more bodily harm from fanbrats do you?

Edgeworth: *sigh* Let’s just sum this up Wright.

Phoenix: Okay I’ll sum it up.
- Story: 4
Pro: It’s a big improvement over Melee’s Adventure Mode.
Con: I had NO idea what the heck was going on.

- Gameplay: 8
Pro: Similar to Melee with a lot of cool new modes, like Online Mode.
Con: There are some pointless modes, and Online Mode suffers from lag issues.

- Graphics: 10.
Pro: Takes advantage of the Wii’s capabilities.
Con: Snake kind of stands out.

- Music: 10
Pro: Some great classic soundtracks as well as some interesting new ones.
Con: None.

- Voice acting: 8
Pro: Voices suit the characters quite well.
Con: Ike’s isn’t all that great. They still haven’t bothered to dub Marth.

- Overall score: 8
One of the best games on the Wii. It would be a crime not to have it. It’s a lot of fun for everyone.

Larry: *comes back in on a floating platform* Well now we might as well just sit back and wait for people to come and tell KHF to stop ripping off Psyguy.

Phoenix: Er… Larry…

Larry: What?

KHF: *standing behind Larry. Smashes open a Smash Ball* Feel the wrath of a fanboy! *Jumps back and 1000 Haruhi Suzumiyas fly across the screen knocking Larry off screen resulting in a KO*