What advice would you give to a person who feels ugly and wants to change how they look? This person will not accept a "You are beautiful just the way you are" as an answer.
|12 votes
Kim-SukLey's avatar
By Kim-SukLey   |   Watch
Published: October 30, 2013
anonymous's avatar
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Comments (12)
KatelScout47's avatar
KatelScout47|Hobbyist General Artist
Bro, why do you care? It's not like (insert prettiest person they know who's mean)'s opinion matters. Here, take my yaoi. Feel better? Yep, I knew it. (XD)
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stargazer-eyes's avatar
stargazer-eyes|Hobbyist General Artist
What do they want to look like? If they're going for that magazine model appearance, they need to know that it's not realistic; they're photoshopped. No matter how hard they try, they won't look like what the social media is feeding to them. Everyone has a body structure that has been genetically predetermined, so if someone wants an hourglass frame instead of a pear it's not going easy, if even possible, for that to happen.

Before they start to change themselves they have to look at themselves. What do they want to change? If it's realistic then by all means, go and support them, help them, and encourage them. Hopefully the person seeking advice has not been consumed with what the social media has been setting up as the standard of beauty. Not everyone has the same body shape and genetics. Everyone is different for a reason.
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MsPyromaniac's avatar
MsPyromaniac|Professional Artist
You should change what you don't like about yourself but don't change what you think is good about yourself if people are pressuring you to do it.
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FantasyAqua's avatar
FantasyAqua|Hobbyist General Artist
as simply as "Then change to something you like, but do it because you want it and as you want it, not because of others" and we both know that it depends ! :)
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DarkLinkandLink4321's avatar
Well, just tell them not to change who they are, and that it's okay to change how you look every so often. But, just tell them that they always will have someone their who loves them, even if they don't know it.
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ArtyHylian's avatar
ArtyHylian|Student Digital Artist
As long as it doesn't involve major piercings, surgeries, or horrifying tattoos, then I say it's fine to let them. I mean we never will never know how we will look unless we try out new things, people will either hate it or love it, for example, I had pretty short hair but I wanted to cut it a certain style everyone thought would look bad on me. Well, I ignored everyone and it turned out they all think it looks very good on me and apologized for saying otherwise. So the best way to go around this is to let them do it, because the only way they will learn is from testing and experience.
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Foyet-of-Hyrule's avatar
There is no proper answer to something like this. It depends heavily on the person's standards of beauty, what their exact feelings of themselves are, and if there is even anything to be done that can change it. Sometimes it's something as simple as a different haircut, a couple new outfits, and maybe a change in makeup (if they so desire to wear it). Sometimes it's something a bit deeper, like body-image issues. This can be helped with proper diet and exercise (both if they feel too large and if they feel to small).

But, all in all, I think the best way to help someone feel pretty isn't in changing what they look like. It's in being there for them and being the best friend you can be. Most of the time, feeling 'pretty' comes from a base sense of self-confidence. Being supportive, loving, and friendly to someone can do a number on their self-worth, thus making them eventually feel better about themselves. Beauty standards don't matter as long as you feel good about yourself.

In the end, though, does it really matter? Once you feel confident in yourself and the way you look, who cares if you're 'pretty' or 'handsome'? I mean, sure, beautiful people get lots of attention for their looks, and they have a predisposition to be more well-liked by strangers... but almost all of my good, intelligent, funny, amazing friends aren't particularly stunning to look at. I love them all unconditionally, and I think they're all beautiful, but it really is the personality that counts. Someone might be the most beautiful person in the world, but that counts for nothing if they have no personality.

Appearances are important for your own self-confidence, but don't conform to what others want just because THEY want you to be different. Be you, and be amazing. Beauty will follow whether you like it or not.
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ArchFuzzum's avatar
This might sound lame or old fashioned but if you start exerscing regularly you'll feel more positive overall and you feeling toward your body image should improve.  Or you can conform to social norms, and start acting and dressing like the other "good looking" people. Or be friend people who are uglier than yourself so you always feel like the pretty one in the group. 
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NeonKitsune16's avatar
NeonKitsune16|Hobbyist Digital Artist
Well I don't find myself pretty and such either and I know this feeling. But how to put it to make beauty work is with your personality. Like how you paint you put a little yourself in it so its the same as trying to custom yourself. Thats one way you can find yourself beautiful. Just being yourself and show off what you are Brother.

Sorry if thats cheesy but I do this with myself to add stuff to me that shows people Im beautiful just by the way I am. How I show off my style that makes me beautiful is find stuff you have a connection with and show your bond with it in a way and its more meaningful. ^^
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DeerestHammy's avatar
DeerestHammy|Hobbyist Digital Artist
Think of the things you like about yourself, even if it takes awhile to think of them. Ive been overweight and manly looking since I was very very young. So I think of the features I like about myself best. Like my nose, or my smile. Even if it may seem a little narcissistic, Youll feel better about those features and focus less on those you dont.
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Abstract-Mindser's avatar
An inquiry to their standards of beauty may be in order.
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SlayerXiena's avatar
SlayerXiena|Professional General Artist
If you Truly feel ugly then look at what makes you feel that way and find away to change it. If its Acne then there are tons of home and prescription remedies. If its your Hair color then dye it to something you like; eve if its Neon Pink. 

In short if you are unhappy with your look then do something you feel is fun to it. It can be anything from dying hair to trying spray on tan. Just remember that life is a Bitch and unless you can find away to laugh at your self, you wont find happiness. 

So you may not see it now but you will see that people love and care for you now and that you don't have to change but if you want to they will be there just the same for you.
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anonymous's avatar
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