A venting post ahead, so, if you don't like venting, there's that cute 'x' button in the upper right corner of your monitor. Otherwise, feel free to stick around.
So I finally got that minimum wage job. The bosses withheld the contract for a good 2 months before I officially managed to sign the contract, thus making me work for even less. But that's not the point this time; what is, is the fact that I am feeling effing lonely. My work colleagues have almost nothing in common with me, so the conversations I have with them, are mostly job-related, if any at all. My high school and university friends (what little I had, anyways) are all drifting further and further away; even my messages/e-mails with them often go unanswered, and I'm losing contact with pretty much all the people I knew IRL. Parents are also growing colder, more tired and probably more annoyed that I still live with them, and do not allow them to enjoy/prepare for their retirement, so I'm pretty much on my own, even in my own apartment - even when surrounded by my nearest family.
This, of course, is starting to reflect on my health, which was never among the best to begin with. Headaches, panic/anxiety attacks and terrible (yet harmless, as my doctor didn't find anything in me, apart from some lack of oxygen in my blood) sensations of heart malfunctioning/impending death and loss of sleep are just a few of things I have to combat with daily, in addition to keeping a somewhat straight face and functioning somewhat decently at my job. Of course, I know that human interaction is important, but that the lack of it could lead to this - kinda sudden-like. Not sure whether I screwed something up during my teenage years, or the university, but I seem to be involuntarily pushing everyone away.
Let me put this straight - I do want to change, I do want to turn the situation for the better, but I simply don't know, how. To outright demand me to make a drastic change right now would be like giving me just a hammer and telling to repair a broken-down car: it probably is possible, but I simply would not be able to - not without the manuals, tips, troubleshooting lists, spare parts, insurance documents and other tools.
So, there you have it; just some ranting and venting from your 25-year-old boomer. And yes, Quake was a great game. Take what you may from all this, if anything; I myself am going to go to try and have some shuteye now, despite my head feeling a bit woozy at the moment.
To anyone, who might actually be concerned about me - see ya's later.