Time Slips through my hands like sand
Precious sand that at times I'll admit I've tried to throw away
Wishing for it to go faster to be farther along
Now as it trickles past I wonder if I really should have
Wished it all away...
Musings of a lost dreamer...Musings of a lost dreamer...
My dreams they come to me. I don’t know why... sometimes I wonder.
Are they a repercussion of obsessing over the same story for so many years. After having thought of them for so long do they even feel my unconscious mind.
Did I make the dreams up to cope with a tragic childhood. To guide me through the pain and loneliness or were they always there.
Could they really be the remembrances of former lives connecting time and time again within my memory. Each life a puzzle piece to a bigger picture. Could the past be reaching out calling to me to understand and never forget.
I used to think my dreams would help me find them the others like me. But now I wonder are my musings just that...
Will I ever know the truth? Do I want to anymore? Either way false or real I wait... I record...and I wonder...
It comes in wavesIt comes in waves
From the bottom to the top
I have it all together than I've fallen apart
I hold you in my memory
And then it starts to part
I think I can manage
But to never touch your hand
To not listen to your day
Or ask about the weather.
I find it irritating
You've gone and not left forwarding adress
The only life left
In memories and former instances I stress to recall.
So many things I didn't see
Yet so many things I didn't hear
I wonder if you're near
But I want you to be on
You shouldn't linger or fear.
I will always hold you dear.
I'm down again then up.
I smiled and laugh
And cry to fill a cup.
I can't quiet grasp it then I can...
Last timeWhy don't we say what we really want to say
Hidden lies find no truths,
Yet I find my tongue twists when I try to tell the truth.
Why is it I can't say
I find it hard to say goodbye
I'm gonna miss you
and even the thought makes me cry
And this time such little time we have now
It means so much to me and how
I feel its fading very fast
There are so many words I wish I could say
Questions I will never ask.
How you felt at certain times in your life.
Why does nothing seems to last.
Why are these questions so hard ask.
When you go will you say goodbye?
I guess not cause you never know when you're gonna die.
I can't believe your gonna die!!!!
I get so angry,and so sad
I wish that I could say much more than goodbye.
I hold my tongue and ask about the weather...
When I want to speak of when we were together
Painful as it is to remember the past. It's all we'll have
I realize that goodbye is just for me .
I see you've accepted what's to come
I find that hard to understand...
Thoughts on SuicideI would rather live and care and breathe
....cause in the end, I like me. Even when
things got the worst I'm not alone - Kelley
A life saver...
Never the answer to die alone
Cold and wanting You'll find your home
If you just hold on for a brighter day.
Today may seem Dismel but it's not dead.
As long as you have a life to live
A breath to heave
Tomorrow can be what you precieve.
Take from it what you want
Life is each of ours.
Not to choose for who and when it is to end.
Taking has never Given...
DisappearedSuppose I'm disappearing
Fading away in the never ending tomorrow of today
Suppose maybe I lost my way
Thought to long on something and let it get away
Suppose I looked up and realized where I'd walked
Wasn't where I needed to be
Definitely not where I wanted to be.
Realizing I'd walked away
Time and Time again
Told myself it was okay
Gave up little here and just a little there
Till every last dream I laid away
To afraid to add more dreams
Realizing I'd just lay down like before
What was the point of even opening that door
So in a room with doors I've shut
I sigh say
Suppose I disappeared....
Nothing at allIs it all or is it nothing
Can you be half out
Or still have a doubt
When you give it all
You lose youself
When you give nothing
You gain nothing
To be Half in
You retain of few chips
But to hold them becomes harder
If its not all or nothing
Than its nothing at all...
I am false in the words I speak
The promises I've yet to keep
The smiles I shine to make people go away
Thinking I'm just fine
So false am I ...I can not speak my mind
All bark and no bite
I don't have the strength to back up a real fright
I complain all the time it even if it's just to complain of complaints
I think to much about the little things
Yet forget the bigger picture whatever that means
For a long time I traced my steps wandering
In the falseness that was myself
Thinking the world was true
But in wandering I've look up to find
The world is just as false as I'm
Those smiles back at me are the same false shields to hide behind
Forces conversations broken promises
The world isn't perfect and for once that is something true
And for some reason I guess I don't feel as blue...
Lulu Xue Meet Keiji MasakoLulu Xue looked at the picture of the mysterious stranger once again Keiji Masako. Her eyes glided over the picture several times. So this was the person she was suppose to trust her life with. Hmp .
The sun rose up high and she found herself walking into a wooded area. She saw a stream and took off her boots splashing her feet in the water as she walked. The deeper she went into the woods the more trees there were until she saw a clearing. She froze listening as several bird set off into the air. In the distance she saw him.
She saw the huge outline of a figure. Almost like a shadow. As he approached she could see more detail. Before she could get a clear look at him he was already behind her.
Most would have been unsettled by this but Lulu smiled she loved to play. She spun and flipped about landing on a tree branch.
Lulu looked to where she had thought he was but he vanished like smoke. It was a trick. She looked about only to find him standing underneath her
I will get better
I will get There
And when I do I shall reign
You may look down upon me now
Snub me in my folly
Tell me I am no good
But I will get better
I will rise up
Beyond you and beyond this
For I am determined and you can
Not detour me
My path that lays out before me
It is mine and not your own
So while your sticks and stones
Bounce of Bones
And your words
Curve my path
I am ever winding and will not
Come Rain come sleet
Come You .
Das Raetsel des Seins - The riddle of beeingAlles liegt in mir, Nichts liegt in Allem,
in mir lebt die Welt, denn Ich lebe in mir.
Ich bin alle und doch einer,
und gleichzeitig wieder keiner.
Ich hab keinen Anfang und kein Ende, um mich ist ich,
und durch mich meine Wende.
Ich sehe Nichts und Nichts sieht Alles,
ich bin Unendlich, und doch immer einer von zweien von vielen von allen.
Meine Reflexion seh ich nur durch mich selbst,
und Veränderung such ich in mir drin.
Ich bin kein Gott, doch
was bin Ich, und wovon wieviele?
Everything i include, Nothing includes Everything,
the world lies within me, because I live in myself.
I am all and i am one,
nobody at the same time.
I have no beginning and no end, around me is I,
and through me I turn.
I see Nothing and Nothing sees Everything,
I am infinite, and always one of two of many of all.
My reflection I see only through myself,
and change I search inside of me.
I am no God,
Song of Healing
Day to night, dark to light,
Fall the sands of time.
Let the years like the gears
Of a clock unwind
In your mind walk through time
Back to better days.
Memories, like a dream,
Wash your tears away.
Like a star in the sky darkness can't reach you.
Light the night, joy is light 'til the new dawn.
Cast away your old face
Full of gloom and spite.
With this mask I will ask
To borrow your light.
The Girl With The Jackalope SmileShe always told me her life was a cake walk
But I'll never understand what kind of happiness comes from
Crushing pastries under your foot
She could stitch sunshine along her wrists
And leave the rest of us in the dark
Trying to paint our own cerulean skies
And leaving us all bereft when we only managed
To stain our skins blue
And she could dance a two-tattoo on the arch of moon beams
Licking her diamond lips to taste something more
Willow wick finger tips gleaming with still flames
Tempting a hand into her grasp so that she might
Burn life back into our hollowed bodies
She traced constellations on her lungs
So she could breathe the star dust
And have shimmering breath all year long
Instead of just in December
Her canines glinted when she grinned
Candle drops of light shinning in each tooth
And melting our hibernation patchwork
To reveal our summer skin
Her veins surged with hot apple cider and wildfires
And her cigarette smoke smelt of burning wood
Her orange and red
Woman God, Quiet Suni have become rounder
selfish and sexual in a way that doesn't
women gods dwell in
my solar plexus fire
my chill steady womb
clutch my breasts as theirs
inhabit my blood spread
we spin together
how do i run my fingers through the hair of this
that is mine
how do i teach this
fire chant feather words searing breath
give you my ashen throat
to spit out all you who are in my care and keeping
gives curse and charm
i move shadow and light together
empty of all separation and yet
facing each other
moon blackened sun makes
more than two celestial objects
one quiet fire
shaman i claim
witch seer spaekona
need not see only future but
decked in rings and bangles
Traveler, stand here.
Life is...Sometimes I wonder: what am I?
I look at the stars and feel very small;
just a tiny consciousness.
But if I were as tall as a planet,
I would still be short in comparison to the universe.
I see a person twice my size
and I feel weak and fragile.
But if I were strong and powerful,
I would still not be invincible.
I see a painting by the hand of a genius,
and I feel inexperienced and ignorant.
But if I were the greatest artist alive,
it would not make me love what I do any more or less.
I see blood, running from the wound of another,
and I feel a chilling fear from deep within.
But if I walked this earth with bravery,
it would not make things less dangerous.
I see a baby, innocent and naive,
and I feel cynical and jaded.
But if I saw through untainted eyes all my life,
it would not make the world a better place.
I see a raindrop, tear of the sky,
and I feel ugly and unsightly.
But if I were as beautiful as rain,
it would not make me crystal clear inside.
There are children with cancer,
I want to Know
I want to know
I want to know what god thinks
And I want him to have told me
I want to know what God thinks
And I want Him to now hold me
I want to know what stars have known
And unto what His seeds have sown
What angels take as certain fact;
Oh Lord, forgive my lacking tact.
May I have strength to seal my fate?
To forever never be too late;
To have asked whatever he may say,
And turn to him this and every day.
Collected Quotes from Albert Einstein
"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction."
"Imagination is more important than knowledge."
"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love."
"I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details."
"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax."
"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."
"The only real valuable thing is int
Divination as a Means of Finding a Way Back 1. I say nothing I am thinking.
For twelve years I have wanted
to do exactly this, but suddenly
pronouncing my own name calls up
the question of who it belongs to
in the same breath Like
Solomon I was born a singer
but in the wrong key and my
chords will not carry me, will not
summon the wolves to me only
packs of hungry dogs
stupid with domestication
but nearly feral And like
a hungry ghost I have learned
not to speak against those
who will give me food
2. A sketch of myself.
He says I must have been born
in the wrong culture, he says. I got a taste of
the crackling heat here, heat to drive you crazy,
and suddenly I open my wide arms for
New Orleans, find myself needing the wind from
the Great Plains. Like a buffalo I have the spirit
of the Sun and I carry it with me. I am a plant
of burnt umber,
RockHacking away at a rock with another rock will shape the rock
you are hacking at by time, but the rock you are using might also break.
This can be frustrating and you may want to give up and go do something else,
but that is when you should get back on your feet, find another rock and continue hacking.
You might never feel that the rock you are shaping ends up perfect and you will always see flaws or
improvements to be made. Passion to do something isn't to finish it, it's to work on it.