what are you afraid of?
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kelogsloops's avatar
By kelogsloops   |   Watch
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Published: November 2, 2015

Halloween just passed, and the general theme of halloween is the 'spooks', but more specifically, 'fear'. Halloween has always been something I've loved and wanted to get involved with (it's not very popular here down in Australia), except for one tiny aspect about the dark festivities... spiders. 

I'm terrified of spiders. I have arachnophobia and it's crippling. The one thing I hate the most about deviantArt, is the fact that every time I go to the Macro>Photography section, I have to spend the next 10-30 minutes recollecting myself and calming my paranoia because I've just had the biggest scare and adrenaline rush after seeing a zoom-in, macro shot of a spider's body. Even writing this makes me feel edgy and nervous. Seriously, am I the only one who goes through this? WHY IS THIS EVEN OKAY?!

So thinking about it a little more, spiders and insects are one form of my fears. But then it makes me think, what other fears do I have? What fears do YOU have? Not just phobias and what not, but insecurities about the world, about others, about yourself.

"What are you afraid of?"

Myself personally, I can say I'm afraid (?) of painting with acrylic, oils and larger pieces and bodies of work, I'm uncomfortable with painting landscapes and environments. 
What else? I'm afraid of letting people down. I'm afraid of becoming an adult and growing up. I'm afraid of failure and of the unknown. I'm afraid of being unhappy with where I am 'now', at any point in my life. 

There's so many different types of fears and insecurities that I've come to realize (besides from arachnophobia, which I've had for life?), and it makes me really think that it's about time I tackle these fears (I'm not tackling my arachnophobia, that's damn outright #fackthatville). 

So tell me, what are you afraid of?

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anonymous's avatar
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BethaMosca's avatar
I dont think anyone will read this, but is actually surprisingly good to write up your fears, so I don't rlly care. And damn, what a long list! Anyways...
I'm afraid of:
- public presentations (argh)
- talking to strangers
- being criticised
- having people thinking i'm boring, not funny
- death (argh)
- kokroaches (am i spelling it right??). It's not REALLY fear, it's more disgust
- scary ghosts looking at you in the dark 
- having people not liking me for a reason I don't like myself to, AKA fearing that people will discover the not good stuff about me. Like, if somene doesn't like me for being overweight, being bi or anything else that I don't rlly care about, I won't get upset. But if someone doesn't like for me being to sensitive, shy, lazy or selfish, I will get upset, because I don't like this in myself
- knowing that i'm being a drama queen
- knowing that the only one who can help myself is me, cause I'm lazy and changing is hard :p
- not being a good person. Like, the world is so fucked up already, and I do nothing to help it so it isn't liek that
- being someone who ends up not being someone in life. Like, not about not discovering something great (like Einstein) or being famous, but seeing my life passing by in front of a computer, too lazy to do anything
- insects that "glue" to your skin when you touch them
- that the world will fall apart because of environment issues, world heating etc.
- being in a public, closed place and having people shooting everyone. Or being in abuilding with more people and with another people chasing us, like in terror movies.
- gigantic natural disasters
- my mom, my dad or my sister dying
- open ocean
- that no one will ever be my truly frind or love me in a romantic way. Because it's really hard for me to talk about my feelings.
I don't think anyone knows about most of that, because I don't usually talk about my fears to anyone. But, well, I guess most people are like that. And, also , it's a bit weird to post your deepest fears on a site, when no one knows about them. But I like it that way; no one here knows me, so it's less likely you'll judge me. I guess. Also, I think most people have a lot these fears too.
Selenada's avatar
SelenadaProfessional Digital Artist
Majority is scared of death. Under all that fear, of spiders, of humiliation, not enough money, people, responsibility etc hides fear of death. 
fokerero's avatar
fokereroStudent General Artist
I'm scared of looking down my house balcony, lol.
I don't really have fear of heights, but I'm afraid of this.
It depends on the type of balcony xD
I'm also freaking afraid of blood, but it looks like this fear's a bit "calming down".
Anyway I'm not gonna watch any horror movie xD
And I don't want to grow up, be called "teen"... I don't feel ready for growing up. Ah, I'd like to be 13 forever... :c
Time is a big fear for a lot of people, I guess.
kelogsloops's avatar
Oh my god, I can't watch horror movies either HAHHAHA. I FEEL YOU THERE! I get terrified and have nightmares and can't sleep alone for days. It's so traumatizing and it just... makes my life so hard. So not worth the scarring.
I wonder why you're scared of the balcony though? hrmm...

It really is. I really want to enjoy being young and childish for as long as I can :(
fokerero's avatar
fokereroStudent General Artist
Exactly! I never did, but I'm sure I'd feel the same :XD:
I don't know lol, it's like sometime I'm afraid of heights, and sometimes not.

Yep, me too. Plus, you can imagine, I have to turn 14 in some months and I can already picture all my relatives saying "oooh you're growing up! You're a lady now!" Gosh, I don't want to be a lady, I still feel like a freakin' kiddie!
But talking about becoming adults, I hope I'll always be a child inside...
kelogsloops's avatar
Don't do it. It's not worth it. AVOID HORROR MOVIES AT ALL COSTS!!! The damage is irrepairable!

Ah, that's interesting though... I really do wonder why :O

I'm 20, and I'm still like a child inside and people still think I'm a kid haha. Some lady told me to "cover my ears" because she didn't think it was appropriate for me to hear her talk to her daughter about breasts.... 
fokerero's avatar
fokereroStudent General Artist

I guess it depends on the place, bah...

Haha, that lady exaggerated, but I know that feel!
There was this one guy in middle school, who teased me since I was always the last one to get innuendos... xD

In my opinion, it's better to be a child at heart than wanting to grow up fast or becoming that type of stereotyped boring adults.
kelogsloops's avatar
See, I'm very quick at innuendos, or rather I usualyl am the one with the innuendos... HAHHAHA but I reckon that's still just a childish way too :D

TuesdayNightCompany's avatar
Life.  What else is there to fear?
kelogsloops's avatar
Spiders, of course!
TuesdayNightCompany's avatar
Spiders are part of life.
kelogsloops's avatar
But they're so scary :'(
Earcell's avatar
EarcellStudent Digital Artist
Falling and death. ._.
MyPhotographsOfLife's avatar
MyPhotographsOfLifeHobbyist Photographer
I don't have a phobia of spiders, but they do sure as hell scare me most of the time. I stay far away from them when I see them outside but I try to kill the immediately if I spot them in my home. I'm a little afraid of heights, but not too badly. I enjoy climbing trees and hikes with amazing views from high up, but when it comes to trees sometimes I'll get too high and forget how to get down lol 
kelogsloops's avatar
See, I'm too scared to even kill them. I have to scream for my mom.... not even kidding HAHA. As undignifying as it is...

Ah, that's good that you can enjoy heights and hikes though, despite discomfort!
WayTooEmily's avatar
WayTooEmily Digital Artist
Holy crap, me too! :O
I like to think that I've gotten better over the years, but the sight of anything with eight-legged and spindly still gives a a friggin heart attack every time.
Just yesterday, I saw the biggest spider I've ever seen. As in, like, as-big-as-my-palm kind of big. Thank god it was too far away for me to have seen its eyes or it's pinchers, nor did it move. I hope I never see it again. /shudders
And yes, macros of spiders are the WORST all those eyes and hairy legs and pincher things up close and personal like no go away please

I'm surprised to hear that Halloween isn't really a thing in Australia, though! I was under the assumption that it was. :O

On a more seriousish note, I'm pretty terrified of growing up, too. I just turned eighteen a couple of weeks ago, and what with college apps and all that junk, it hits me that this is friggin real. I'm on my way to adulthood even though I barely know how to be an independent individual who can put her own bread on her own table.
Being unhappy with your current place in life is absolutely the worst, complete with existential crisis meltdowns and feeling so low and hopeless that you don't believe things will possibly get any better. (Haha, I'm probably not being very helpful in this department xD)
I'm still learning how to deal with failure and pick myself up, too. It's hella uncomfortable and awkward, but it's a humbling experience to say the least. Just got to troop on until the storm passes, I suppose.
I find that I feel most at ease and with purpose when I'm drawing, updating my social media, thinking and planning future projects, and otherwise contributing to my artistic not-a-career (yet, hopefully!) because it's then that I feel like I'm making progress and not sat in hole. And the great thing about art is that you can do that anywhere. Your art is seriously amazing, so I'll say again that I think you're on the right track if you're enjoying what you do! :)
kelogsloops's avatar
Just reading your description makes me //shudder. NIGHTMARES ARGHHH. My most traumatizing experience was when I was in vietnam. I was in the country visiting relatives, and we were dining at a restaurant. Note, the region is VERY rural. I needed to do a number two, so I went to the loo and sat down and minded my own business. I turn to my left, getting ready to prepare some toilet paper to "wipe" (sorry, TMI), and guess what's right there beside me on the wall where the toilet paper dispenser was... A FREAKING HUGE TARANTULA... yeah....

YEAH! Halloween isn't popular here yet, but slowly I think. It's really sad because I honestly love Halloween festivities :(

NO KIDDING! I know exactly how you feel in regards to the fear of growing up. That's exactly how I was when I turned 18, and how I still am actually. (I can't even cook eggs without burning the pan zzz)

Well, I WAS unhappy, but I can tell you now, there's no way I'm unhappy where I am now :)

Aw, that's so great to hear that you really enjoy and feel at ease when you're doing that. It's really cool that you also(?) have thought of pursuing a career in the creative field, because you and your art are B-O-M-B!
WayTooEmily's avatar
WayTooEmily Digital Artist
Oh my godd, your horror story definitely takes the cake. I've never seen one of those hairy terrors in person! Hope it stays that way, like, 5ever. I salute your heart for not going into cardiac arrest right then and there. /shudder

Trick or treating is so much fun! I used to live in a suburban area, so it was fun to see how people decorated their houses for the occasion. Some people were so hardcore that they spent, like, the entire morning preparing xDD

I am so not ready to adult! How do you tax? How do you fulltime job? idek creys
I feel so old and noobish at the same time, but I guess adulthood is kinda just something you gotta play by ear ^^;

Yeah, and I think it shows in your work and your general interactions with other artists! You've got this really energetic and positive vibe, weird as it sounds put into words x'D

I've learned the hard way that I would be miserable if I wasn't allowed to draw, so yeah, I definitely want to give it a shot! Thanks for the vote of confidence uhuhu /)//v//(\
kelogsloops's avatar
I didn't go through cardiac arrest, but it sped up the process 10x of my 'bathroom business'. Never ever have I done that so quickly. haha!

Awghhhhh, ya killen me here! I want to take part in suburban trick or treating :'(

See, even I don't know what tax is / how it works / what to do either, so I'm with you on that one. Thank god I've got four older brothers who've done the adult game.

Haha it doesn't sound weird, because I get that vibe from you as well. Most of the people i've become good friends with here on dA are really positive and fun to talk to with heaps of energy, and you're like that too.

I'm rootin for ya Emily! :D
WayTooEmily's avatar
WayTooEmily Digital Artist
It's also a great way to stock up on your yearly supply of candy. And it's totally free! ;D

Ooh, lucky you. I'm the oldest of my sisters, so I don't have that kind of luck. /cue Celine Dion's All By Myself

Aww, really? I'm flattered uhuhu u//v//u
I've always thought of myself of more of a..uh, gloomy person? Here we call it mensao, which is like, people who come off as apathetic until they open up or something xD 
I guess talking to people with similar interests brings out my geeky excited blabbery side, for better or worse xDDD

Same, same! :D
kelogsloops's avatar
Dang! //patpat, we'll figure the adult life somehow!

are you kidding me? YOU? GLOOMY? NO WAYYYYYY!
WayTooEmily's avatar
WayTooEmily Digital Artist
Yup! Before we know it, we'll be hitting our thirties and (hopefully) totally know exactly what we're doing. xDD

BWUH, you flatter me 
Like, people used to tell me that I needed to smile more, but I just can't seem to find the energy to be all sunshine and rainbows in front of everyone 24/7! So I'm glad you don't think I'm gloomy, haha.  /)u//v//u(\
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