Newsflash! Dateline Dredge Report!
The daughter of the Creature from the Black Lagoon and Brooke Shields made her stunning debut in this adorable shellfish, er, selffishy, er, selfie she took today and posted to Lobstergram. She has a musical recital tonight where we will learn if she can tune a piano as well as she can tune a fish. The critics are like sharks but hopefully she'll be their chum. Be sure if she's too small, they will throw her back! Her selection from Gill-bert and Sullivan will surprise them, lauding her with an ocean of praise. Only time will tell if she can steer straight or will she be completely rudderless? Frankly, we're bubbling over with excitement at the fans she will net! Everything should go swimmingly. Her parents are swelling with pride like pufferfish at their daughter's accomplishments. Just avoid the sushi bars before you go and everything should be fine.
Sea you there!