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Deviant for 14 Years
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Literature
The Couch
I
His breath whispers over my cheek, almost too close for comfort. He’s lulled himself to sleep with bedtime stories of his own fashion. They’re soothing, reassuring fantasies, rationalising moral inconsistencies. Comforting.
I consider killing him in his sleep.
His arms twitch restlessly, and I wonder if he dreams of murder or Schuldig. Is he waiting? Maybe. Me, I just don’t like sleeping.
Familiarity cannot overcome the fundamental contempt for everyone around us, including each other. Yet here we are, on the couch.
I could kill him so easily. But for now, his breathing blocks out the sounds of the world.
II
My arms hover, almost reaching out. Scars glow pale in the gloom and I remember I was dreaming. Beautiful red dreams, and I’m sorry they’re gone. But the only thing left to grasp now is the one sleeping on the couch, curled around himself.
I lean closer, carefully, and watch his eyes move behind their lids. I wonder if, if I were quick enoug
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Literature
Offering
Farfarello was peeling an apple with an efficiency that really shouldn’t have surprised Nagi.
Maybe, Nagi thought, if he hadn’t been so careful it would have made more sense. If he’d been a mindless brute, Tot might have been easier to forgive.
Farfarello licked the knife and started cutting up the apple.
If Farfarello had been anyone else, it might have been easier to understand when he passed the pieces to Nagi. Nagi didn’t touch them, let them lie on the sofa table. Farfarello pushed the last piece over, glanced at him.
Nagi didn’t understand it. What did he want?
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Literature
Suit
The suit was hell. It made Nagi feel like some kid in an American movie, like he was supposed to say, ”Golly gee, Mister,” and twinkle.
Schuldig made anything he wore look like an insult and no one wanted to stop Farfarello from ripping the sleeves off his jacket. Crawford probably popped out of his mother’s womb in formal wear, pushing up his glasses at the world, and - oh no, Schuldig caught that one.
Crawford pushed up his glasses.
”There will be no wandering thoughts. Nagi, straighten your tie.”
It was just one more reason to bring the Elders down.
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Literature
Nike of Samothrace
It comes down to you and me and a gun. Only one, now that we’ve finally met.
I clutch my wounded hand, and I don’t have to be psychic to sense the triumph in you. You’ll save the girls, the day, the world. I’ve lost my weapon, my finger, my plan. I know that’s what you think, and that’s fine.
You may turn the tables but I’m the one who set them, long ago, and you still haven’t read the menu.
You think you’ve maimed your enemy, crippled him beyond repair. But you forget.
Nike of Samothrace has no arms.
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Literature
WK: Worst Case - Nagi
“The worst thing that can happen,” Crawford had said once, “is that we’ll have to live like ordinary people.”
“The worst thing,” Nagi had reasoned, “is that we die.”
He adjusted his name tag and negotiated a scowl into a death glare as the girl across the counter changed her order back from 12 to 35, only with extra cheese.
It was a miracle he was even alive. With a new identity, free to count his blessings, safe and sound. Far from anything Eszet. He had a job, an apartment, even a tiny Hyundai.
Crawford had been right, as usual.
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Literature
WK: Worst Case - Tot
Tot stared at the wall.
She had waited by the cherry trees for a long time, even as she grew hungry and restless. But only the police came.
Hell, Neu, Schön, Daddy - all gone. Nagi, too, or he would have come for her.
Tot wished she had Mr. Bunny. He had gotten lost somewhere in all the fuss, and all she had now was bruises.
They all used her wrong name, once they found out who she was.
“Hey, kiddo.” Tot remembered this was the nice cop. “Someone’s here for you.”
Tot turned around, and froze.
“Hello, daughter,” Father said.
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Literature
WK: Worst Case - Crawford
Crawford ran a complex index of any possible outcome of nearly every probable action, which never left his mind. Schuldig didn’t understand it; reading people’s minds, like listening in on conversations, didn’t mean knowing what they meant. He did know, though, that Crawford, unbelievably, was a gambler. Schuldig liked to know exactly where he stood, be sure he had the upper hand. Crawford estimated and went for broke. Then again, Crawford always had, or took, the winning hand.
Schuldig was fairly certain their leader hadn’t expected the collapse. He looked down at the unconscious man and wished for an answer.
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Mature content
WK: Nightmare :iconkeinerlei:Keinerlei 0 0
Literature
Missing Items
Nagi keeps a photograph of the boy he never was in a hidden cardboard box. The child is smiling, easily, as if it couldn’t imagine not smiling. He found the picture in a dead man's pocket and kept it as a reminder of all those things he was robbed of.
The other photo in the box is of a girl, older than the boy, also smiling. The picture doesn’t quite capture the way she dazzled, or the way she seemed to leave an afterimage.
He puts them next to each other and wonders if the boy could have protected her.
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Mature content
Luke :iconkeinerlei:Keinerlei 0 0
Mature content
Blitz and Krieg :iconkeinerlei:Keinerlei 0 0
Literature
Water
Farfarello turned the heat of the water up another notch. Steam already billowed around him, fogging the mirror and window. Water ran over his ears, blocking out all other sound. He closed his eye and leaned into the stream. There was only water on skin now. No sorrow, no hate, no want. Only the fall of water. He screwed the heat up again, until that thought, too, was burned away.
Almost, almost like peace.
He turned the dial almost a full turn, gasping as freezing water gushed over him.
But never enough to block it out. Not for long enough.
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Literature
Showers
Nagi had soon learned that showering after Farfarello was riddled with risk. It wasn’t often that sharp objects were left lying around, not after The Safety Talk. But unsuspecting, morning-groggy showerers faced an equal danger of being scalded and doused in ice-water.
Needless to say, there were no unsuspecting anythings in the household anymore. Morning-groggy was an entirely different matter.
Nagi accepted the fact that the man felt no pain. That it also meant he had no concept of “too hot” or “nerve-numbing cold” was peculiar, and inconvenient.
Especially since it meant no chance for retaliation.
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Literature
They say a lot of things
They said pain could be so strong that it overcame all other feelings. He wished he could feel it, just once. There were many things that were not pain that still harmed. One moment’s deliverance from them, one moment of simplicity - but no.
They said pain could drive you crazy. The joke was not lost on him.
They said that pain was cathartic. That you had to hurt to heal. God, then, would not let him heal. God intended to take everything from him and leave him without chance of redemption.
God’s pain would be his catharsis. His healing wound.
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Literature
Likeness
The blood-haired one was a lot like him, he decided. Seeking revenge against the god of his world of civility and petty ambitions. Mother, father, sister. Fueled by hate and bloodthirst.
It was a pity he lacked vision, Farfarello thought, stroking the hair of the sleeping girl. He was like a sheep that rose against another sheep, never even seeing the shepard. He was weak, for all his metal, brittle. Love made him afraid, and God still had him on a leash. There was the difference between them. It was the line that separated the King from the corpse.
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Mature content
WK: Bedtime Story :iconkeinerlei:Keinerlei 0 0

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Activity


I feel like I should say something, cuz this is the fourth llama thingummie someone's given me and look, look --

I don't know what they mean.

I have no freaking idea what this llama thing is, what it's supposed to do, what I am supposed to do with it, or what sort of social interaction it entails. There's a llama! On my profile! What the fuck does it want?

And now I'm herding a small flock of llamas, apparently, and look --

I have a daughter, she's almost two. I have a husband. I am trying to acquire a job that matches my education and I am trying to manage a few levels of family and friends and myself and I'm kinda struggling.

I'm not here a lot. It should be obvious to anyone I haven't done anything worthwhile, creatively speaking, since 2009 or so. Even then I wasn't whatcha might call a pillar of the dA community. I haven't even said thanks for the number of faves I've gotten over the past, uh, two years.

What I'm saying is, don't waste your llamas on me. They'll die, they'll run away, they'll mope. I don't understand them.

And also, if you've faved anything by me in the past few years, THANK YOU. I appreciate it, even if I don't manage to say so.

deviantID

Keinerlei
Thilde
Sweden
I'm a Homestuck graduated from a master's program in environmental science. I live in a tower with my boyfriend and our daughter, where we trip over bits of duplo and laugh at the world.

I like cupcakes, craft stuff and trees.

I don't like cigarette smoke or neoclassical/-liberal economic theory.
Interests

Comments


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:iconartmunki:
artmunki Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2011
Thanks for the +fav on my khepri pic!
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(1 Reply)
:icontrich:
trich Featured By Owner May 17, 2009  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
ARG! I hate my thesis! Can I have your instead?
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(1 Reply)
:iconjaney-jane:
janey-jane Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2009  Professional General Artist
thanks v. much for the fave :heart:
Reply
:iconcatharsisjb:
CatharsisJB Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2009
Thank you tons for the watch!!
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(1 Reply)
:iconalciha:
alciha Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2009
Hey, thanks a lot for the watch! I appreciate it.
:iconimhappyplz:
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(1 Reply)
:icontrich:
trich Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2009  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Jag ahr hittat nån du kan byta recept med :) : [link]
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(1 Reply)
:iconlady-az:
Lady-Az Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2009
thank you so much for the fave! :) <3
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:icontrich:
trich Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2009  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
[link]

tänder... oo
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(1 Reply)
:iconhyel:
Hyel Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2009
Thanks for watching!
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(1 Reply)
:icontrich:
trich Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2008  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
såg [link] och tänkte lite på dina smink lekar...
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(1 Reply)
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