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About Varied / Hobbyist Kara LyndonFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 3 Years
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Statistics 17 Deviations 12 Comments 2,359 Pageviews

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The sounds of violin music and my flip-flops smacking the pavement fill my ears as I walk down the street. Caleb needs me to cut his hair sometime this week. I think of the last time I cut his hair, and how I didn't have a pill that day, because I didn't do the thing I'm doing now. I pause my music and shove my earbuds into the pocket of my sweatshirt as the door is held open for me by a man with an intense hobble. He probably needs it to be held open much more than I do. I nod to him. Not even the proper nod either. An up nod. No good afternoon, no thank you. God I'm terrible. Temperature conditioned air seeps through my sweatshirt. Idiot. Why do I wear sweatshirts in the summer? I subconsciously put a hand to my stomach.
'because you're disgusting'
"a few minutes" I hear the pharmacist say. Lovely.
I pretend to be interested in the cards. For all they know it could be my mom's birthday tomorrow. Too bad it's not. I'd buy one. I can feel the idea becoming more obvious in my mind. I pu
:iconkaylynnay:KayLynnay 2 0
just thanks
I often experience feelings of self hatred. I feel loved by two people right now, and it seems the only way I can feel appreciated at all is if someone directly says they love me. I lay on the couch, huddled in a blanket and think, how many of the people I interact with feel the same way?
To the girl playing ukulele with me every Thursday of this summer, I love your smile. You're so upbeat and I love that you can be so energetic and kind all the time.
To the boy I sang with a couple weeks back, it was so kind of you to invite me into your home last minute, and allow me to screw up so badly our practice. You initially planned on never involving me, but then you did, and it was awesome. You put up with me while I stressed everyone out over something that should've been a lot of fun. Thank you for that.
To the 2015 graduate in my chemistry class last year, I still can't believe how social you got me to be in that class. I cannot thank you enough for the confidence boost our conversations
:iconkaylynnay:KayLynnay 1 0
Hazel by KayLynnay Hazel :iconkaylynnay:KayLynnay 2 0 feather bokeh background by KayLynnay feather bokeh background :iconkaylynnay:KayLynnay 2 0 Avatar Aang by KayLynnay Avatar Aang :iconkaylynnay:KayLynnay 0 1 he's gone now by KayLynnay he's gone now :iconkaylynnay:KayLynnay 5 0 struggle for perfection  by KayLynnay struggle for perfection :iconkaylynnay:KayLynnay 7 0 violin by KayLynnay violin :iconkaylynnay:KayLynnay 5 0 mine eyeball by KayLynnay mine eyeball :iconkaylynnay:KayLynnay 6 0 city lights by KayLynnay city lights :iconkaylynnay:KayLynnay 1 0 dandelion  by KayLynnay dandelion :iconkaylynnay:KayLynnay 3 0 petals by KayLynnay petals :iconkaylynnay:KayLynnay 7 0 Songbook by KayLynnay Songbook :iconkaylynnay:KayLynnay 3 0 grass dewdrop by KayLynnay grass dewdrop :iconkaylynnay:KayLynnay 4 0 bitch on beach by KayLynnay bitch on beach :iconkaylynnay:KayLynnay 4 3


[ P. A. U. ]04 by FlorianWeiler [ P. A. U. ]04 :iconflorianweiler:FlorianWeiler 198 15 Irene by photoport Irene :iconphotoport:photoport 6,392 292 D486 by miobi D486 :iconmiobi:miobi 403 14 I am Ready Miss Steele by panagiotios I am Ready Miss Steele :iconpanagiotios:panagiotios 47 18 Natalie [02] by beethy Natalie [02] :iconbeethy:beethy 669 64 Sabrina 01 by AngelRiley Sabrina 01 :iconangelriley:AngelRiley 603 25 Daniela XXVII by Riot23 Daniela XXVII :iconriot23:Riot23 208 14 A thoughtful look by SkankinMike A thoughtful look :iconskankinmike:SkankinMike 76 10 akarui by Jtyan akarui :iconjtyan:Jtyan 9 3 Still dreaming by gestiefeltekatze Still dreaming :icongestiefeltekatze:gestiefeltekatze 532 17 D494 by miobi D494 :iconmiobi:miobi 509 20 . by nevermade . :iconnevermade:nevermade 107 2 Le Peintre by theartofdarrenvannoy Le Peintre :icontheartofdarrenvannoy:theartofdarrenvannoy 21 4 Danielle by eileenvanuitert Danielle :iconeileenvanuitert:eileenvanuitert 258 23 about you... by karen-abramyan about you... :iconkaren-abramyan:karen-abramyan 482 14 Enchant by Tharwaithiel Enchant :icontharwaithiel:Tharwaithiel 38 17


I cried myself to sleep last night.  Connor thinks I should see a professional, and really wants to help. I'm waiting to tell these things to Mason when he gets back rather than texting him and waiting for some terrible time for him to receive them because it would be very selfish of me,  while he's on a mission trip to have the only things I think about in regards to him be telling him how depressed I am. I don't know that I myself can say that, because it's not like it's been this way for a month, but both Connor and Nikumeja said it,  even after I mentioned the week thing.  Right now I've just got this sad Playlist I made up so I wouldn't have to listen to my normal happy music. I feel very much alone..  And in thinking about this,  I remembered Mason's letter, and I thought,  well that's good.
Before I remembered his letter,  I wasn't sure how to start my day so I can refresh this terrible cycle of fruitless efforts to be better. Thank you for these questions,  Mason, they will make a wonderful distraction. The tears came at about the sixth paragraph. He was telling me how beautiful and wonderful I am and how many thanks he has yet to give for that. . But I really don't deserve this. Yeah..
Now I feel like writing about something else. Like. Text plus community days. First I must address the Evanescence in my ear holes.  It's been a while since I've enjoyed this,  probably during my online community days,  and even then I think I was just pretending to like it because I wanted to be a real person with a struggle so badly. Ooo look at that I got my wish!  Alright so online communities. So. The first thing I actually found where everyone felt like a family was.. Hold up I gotta grab mah Bluetooth keyboard. Wow I'm a terrible writer. This is content?  No, it's not. It's a way to keep myself writing when the motivation isn't there. Alright.  So this community was a roleplaying community by title.  Nobody did the serious roleplaying that turned into books that I always told you about, mostly because in the communities community (see what i did there?) I sort of invented it.  Anyway, people would have conversation that didn't start with 'hi' or end with 'bye' and they'd roleplay it like an environment.  We were on Hogwarts school grounds, and I could say "Accio fuckingnameofbroomstick-bolt 3000" and then fly around and wreak havok.  It was great.  Just to forewarn you, this isn't about to be nearly as well put-together as your letters, I'm uber scatter-brained and can't think clearly for shit.  I think that was redundant as well.  Doesn't matter.  Fuck it.  This chick named Sydney.  She absolutely loved Oh My God I went to google what the animal is called and I can use this keyboard to select shit.  Like if I put to whatever it's called Android voiceover service on I could totally use this to be more efficient.. So yeah she loved Okapi. Okapis.  Ocapus.  I don't know.  And one day she decided I was her pet Okapi so I changed my name to Larry Okapi and my picture to an Okapi.  This was a mistake.  See, on the internet, in case you didn't already know this, little boys with testosterone tend to treat girls differently from other boys.  They're unknown territory so they tend to be more cautious.  My name was Larry.  I of course didn't take this into account when a guy was trying to impress a couple of girls by being super sexist and ech towards another girl (I don't actually remember what he was doing) and I just HAD to say something or two or maybe even a rant I honestly don't remember which, about it.  Yeah you know I actually thought I'd get on track at some point in here and it would flow better.  NOPE.  It's doomed to be this way for the entirety of whatever it ends up being.  
ANYway, this dude thought Mr. Okapi was picking fights, and he couldn't stand for that or let it get by with a couple of girls to impress around.  At one point I think I actually tried to convince him that I was a girl to prove a point.  Didn't work.  After a while, he started telling me about how he was at his uncle's house, and like.  Bruh you better shut your goddamn mouth because my uncle's a hacker and he'll hack your account so you can't log in anymore.  I'm like well.  That's a fuckin lie cuz like.  Who actually has access to that?  So I kept being a bitch about the situation and then when he said his uncle was doing it I changed my password just in case because that makes it more difficult somehow?  I don't know.  I logged out and logged back in and when I went to the community he was all "I got rid of the bastard".  Something I never mentioned was like.  People kept coming in without knowing what was going on or reading up and joined his side because fightiiiiiiiiiiiiingg.  I saw them cheering and bein all happy Larry was gone and I typed out something like "I'm still here bitchezzzzzzz".  But.  It sent, but didn't send.  It didn't show up as a message after I hit send.  So I'm like fuck..  yeah that never got to my original story but I'll have to tell you about that later because I feel like you've had enough reading already.


KayLynnay's Profile Picture
Kara Lyndon
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
I'm 17. My life carefully follows a script I wrote when I was 12 and I am now suffering the consequences. I like a lot of things so feel free to skip to the end.
Photography (duh)
Living life with no shits to give because I gave them all as a more childlike child.

I believe myself to be a child and I probably always will. I'm watching myself mature but I still appear to be lacking the sense of urgency adults have. Oh well, I guess I'm just naive that way.
Hollar at me if you have an questions, comments, concerns, inquiries, etc.


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korehisa Featured By Owner Edited Apr 3, 2016  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Happy Birthday!

Myria-Moon Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Sorry for the late , thank you so much for the fav , much love and happy new year !!!
AmyKPhotos Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you so much for your support, Kara! :aww:
miki-flash Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer

thx for the fav ;)

See u
Teakster Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2015  Professional General Artist


Thanks for the fav! :glomp:

It's a huge honour that you liked my work and thank you for supporting it my friend! :hug:

Let me buy you a HUGE mug of hot chocolate! :D

SteMerrigan Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2015   Traditional Artist
Thanks a million for all the faves and watch! :D
DanniDaniDanni Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for the favourite! :love:
Have a lovely week. :huggle:
SteffenHa Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you very much for the favs and the watch, Kara :)
keithmore2000 Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2015  Professional Traditional Artist
Thanks for adding my 'Patiently...' drawing to your favourites Kara, it's much appreciated. Feel free to leave a comment. 
Here's a link to my Facebook art page. Feel free to like and share…..:D (Big Grin)…
Dark-Indigo Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks 4 faving Boat...:)
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