For years I have not felt myself.
My whole life I have felt strongly about being "natural."
I don't mean in the hippy, green, earth conscious way.
I am talking about being a leaf on the wind, impulsive, uncontrolled.
It has always felt good, I have always been happy.
I have been able to feel the lowest of lows and the highest of highs.
I have taken myself to places never imagined.
I don't know whats happened.
Did I force myself into something?
I know that nothing since has felt ~natural.
Where have I gone?
Who is this now.
What can bring me back, without force.
How do I ~feel again?
I once wrote a journal in here for my 18th birthday, now I am having my 21st. Strange when somehting internet can be so lasting throughout your life. Coolio though. So I erased all the old journals because they show up too often in google searches, it will probably be more of an edit this journal process. Anyway you ladies hang in there. Peace.