reasons to create

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Kayanya's avatar

Literature Text

I create so I won't forget the density of a moment, the richness of colours and emotions growing in the cracks of everyday life's grey concrete.

Sometimes a moment is so beautiful, so intense, so wild and raw that the idea of forgetting its fullness scares me. I wish I was able to capture it in pencil, paints, or a brilliant photograph, knowing I will fail. A picture would never do the multidimensional magic of a moment any fraction of justice.

I create in the hope that others will take the time to understand the way I perceive the world, the weird ways of my inner cosmos.

I don't see the world the way most people around me do. What they deem beautiful I perceive as sensory overload, loud and clashing and evoking a bad taste in my mouth; while what is wonderful to me in their eyes is trash, boring, mundane, or even so small and trivial they don't notice it at all. I call it the ability to see "the beauty in between", to "create magic" in my mind. Taking pictures of small wonders is my try to guide other people's view, direct their gaze to the invisible lines my mind draws, connecting thought, sensation, trees and stars and summer hay.

I create to remind people of the beauty that lies in the simple, ordinary things.

The beauty I see can't be bought from mass-producing factories - at least in most cases - and can't be foretold in terms of shape, colour, or perfection. Beauty is what happens in tiny corners, in the hands of a child, a foggy morning, between dewy blades of grass and ashy rocks. Beauty isn't static, visible, but a warm, filling, overwhelmingly enveloping atmosphere of grace, the thankfulness for a friend's genuine smile and the smell of fresh bread.

I create to deal with personal hardships - with a troubled past, a confusing present, the scary uncertainty of the near future.

Being able to create reminds me that I'm still alive, that I'm not completely broken, because I'm still able to see beauty and feel love and learn friendship. Writing is the way to connect isolated objects, dreams, ideas; and it is the goal, the reason to keep my mind open to the world, the things and people in it. The process of composition, of taking a photograph is meditation and the result the source for new contemplation. I write promises to myself, reminders of feelings, solutions and inconsistencies and chaos.

I create to feel. I create because I feel. I create so others will feel with me. I create to conserve a moment to feel it anew in the future.
Originally written as a response to To be an Artist... by :iconvivyi:, who then challenged me to write this out. The parts in italics are from my original comment, the other lines are my thoughts from today.
© 2014 - 2021 Kayanya
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starlightt1234's avatar
worded perfectly...
NerdyWolf123's avatar
Emily-Byrd's avatar
Incredible expression of these feelings. I just love this so much. Kindred spirit right here. :D 
Vivyaii's avatar
Beautiful :) I'm glad I inspired you to write this,  I think you did a really great job describing your thoughts behind creating. I love the rawness behind this. Nice work! :D
Kayanya's avatar
Aww, thanks. Raw is what I'm going for most of the time!
Andrea-Perry's avatar
Really great, do you really think this way? I mean the "beauty in between" part? I was just watching the tail end of Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy, and even if it's just a comedic movie, it still makes me think about those things. Like what if our entire existence is on the tip of an iceberg and everything is not what we thought it was? 
Kayanya's avatar
The phrase "beauty in between" is not a steady companion, but definitely more than just an intrusive thought coming to visit every now and then ... it's part of how I see the world, of who I am deep inside, but on many days I'm not in touch with it as much as I'd like to. It's an expression I found somewhere sometime on a walk around the lake, when I saw and felt and heard such an overwhelming richness of beauty that I felt like I'd burst if I couldn't share it in any way, and it's stuck since then.
Your thoughts about the tip of an iceberg aren't totally wrong. The beauty in between is the sum of all the tiny reminders of grandeur, of history, of nature's awesomeness, of the vastness of the universe. A droplet on a clover on my way can lead to reaching for sunshine and clouds, which may turn into intuitively "feeling" how earth spins through space full of beautiful stars and nebulae.
So long and thanks for all the fish ;)
Andrea-Perry's avatar
:XD: so long and thanks for all the fish!! xD what?! :lmao: Anyways I kinda get it... I mean I've often just stopped and thought if Is anyone else feeling this feeling that I am right now? The pull of the Earth, the weight of my being, the contents of my soul, the vastness of the universe, if I could feel it all, what would it feel like? I reccomend watching "Lucy" or "The Giver" two brand new movies that came out a few months ago, but they are really awesome and they are EXACTLY what I was wondering or feeling... e-e it's pretty awesome... 
Kayanya's avatar
You gave a reference to the end of the Hitchhiker first - and now you're confused about that quote? Meow Shake Fish Sushi Ride Fish :whalehuggle: (To your defense, I can't remember the end of the movie, maybe they cut that part. Though that would be really weird.)
Ha, I totally loved "The Giver" as a book (and I still re-read it occasionally), and then I saw this weird trailer and decided not to watch the movie anytime soon, fearing it would spoil the story for me. Still have to watch "Lucy", though.
Maybe all these things about perception and vasteness - combined with the feeling of failing to convey them - are why I'm into dystopia ... there's always more going on than what's visible at the first glance, there is a struggle, and so much space for imagination!
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