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I'm no fan of texting. If you send me one, 99% chance I'm busy or I'll just ignore it like I normally would. I have a group chat that keeps bickering non stop about useless stuff. I want to get out but I can't because I might miss out some very important informations so I just had to suck it up. I even mute it so I won't get those annoying vibrations from my phone but when i open it, there was 100+ messages waiting for me to read em all which is NOT fun. 


And why is it that everytime I leave a message in the groupchat, there is ALWAYS this akward silence where everyone would stop texting and leaves me hanging. That happens to me and after that I made an appoint to NOT text the group and just stay quiet and watch as they kept talking. Ugh!


Do any of you had a hard time making a conversation? Yes? No? Maybe? Well.. If you ask me, I'd say maybe. When I was young, I'd consider that making friends is just a snap of fingers. Well, THAT'S what I thought but as I grew older AND move to a new school, I began to find myself lost in a zombie island or something. There was no one I knew and no one I recognise. It's DEFINITELY a new planet with new species.

I realise that I became one of those main characters in every storybook. Y'know, the typical "OMG-Its-my-first-day-of-middle-school" kinda story and of course, the results are mostly terrible.. or the best. Anyway! MY result turned out... well, kinda weird? Have you ever act clingy to the first person you made friends with? That's me. There was this girl called Lily. I planned to start the conversation since we sat right next to each other and we are in the same class. I took a deep breath and open my mouth but no words came out! I was a little worried when I found out that I COULDN'T start the conversation. So I kept quiet and just stare at my table. Eventually, we DID talk but I wasn't the one who started it though, it was her and as soon as felt comfortable around her, I immediately open up to her and she became my first friend.

Since she is the ONLY friend I made, I eventually became the person who follows her around like a lost puppy. NOT because I'm clingy! Nu-uh! I was just nervous and have so little confidence in myself when making friends. I'd just stare at everyone in awe as they grew so friendly towards each other. How the heck did they do that? I'd give myself a sigh and stare dramatically at my hand like I lost my magic or something which is actually true! Where oh where is the 'me' that can make friends in an instant? Are you on a vacation or what? 

Eventually, the 'me' which I was searching for came back after a year or two and I felt SO relief because now I can make more friends! Phew.. Tell me about it. When you lost a part of 'you', you'd feel all the difference. My mom often tells me: "Just be yourself!" . But HOW can you stay constant like that when you are in a whole new world? Man oh Man... If I was still young, this would definitely be a piece of cake. Why? Cuz you don't need advice on how to make friends when you were young! Well, maybe for some of you but most children can open up quite easily. Sigh...