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The Three Apprentices (redraw)

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Comment before you favorite, please! I want to hear your feedback and favorites do not do me anything!!!


Redraw of The Three Apprentices by Katleidoscopic

I smell improvement... Wait, that's just my ma's apple pie. False alarm!
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© 2013 - 2021 katleidoscopic
Comments29
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MoonlightkittyART's avatar
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Vision
:star::star-half::star-empty::star-empty::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Technique
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Impact

Ok lots of typing to do so let's get started! Well first off something I noticed was their expressions were all a bit off especially Ravenpaw's. His eyebrows should be slanting up,so it actually looks like he's scared of Tigerclaw. His mouth should also be wider just a little bit. I love how you did the eyes though.I think you need to work on you shading a bit also.You need to visualize where the light is coming from,and shade in appropriate spots.I like your background,but you do have to remember they are in a forest so,lots of trees not just one. Firepaw looks like he is a Anthro. Mainly because you only see one arm.Last thing I noticed is the anatomy went very wrong on Graypaw. His head shape needs some work because,snouts don't curve like that.Overall I love this drawing and I love the books and this,is a good drawing! Hopefully I did not offend you in any way and please keep up the good work!
Sapphire189's avatar
:star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star-half::star-empty::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Originality
:star::star-half::star-empty::star-empty::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star-half::star-empty::star-empty: Impact

Firepaw looks a lot like a human to me, and Ravenpaw is a bit more of a black, not a purple. Graypaw looks a bit darker then he is in this picture, but overall it is a very good drawing. One more thing, I dont like how Ravenpaw and Graypaw's eyes are slanted, looks a bit, I dunno, stalker-ish? The belly fur on Firepaw (To me at least) looks a bit, much, on the spikiness, you know? The tree in the background is kinda derpy too. But, yeah. Great work. Sorry if I offended you, I meant no harm!

~Your dearest, Sapphire.
katleidoscopic's avatar
Thanks for the critique!  I was trying to mimic SSSWarriorCat's style, sorry if it turned out badly.  :/
Tehswanny's avatar
:star::star::star-half::star-empty::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star-half::star-empty::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star-half::star-empty::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star-empty::star-empty::star-empty: Impact

This is a great but this the
Grey and black cats looks like
They are one which kinda
Looks weird,following,
I think that you should
Make the cats legs show
Or atleast make them
Stand if you make
Another drawing
Similar to this i think you
Should make the cats stand or show legs and
Not just the body looking like it touches the middle cat
The drawing over all is great and I have a great feeling your next drawing will be great in the future, also i dont know a lot about warrior cats and cats in general but i love the colors.



I hope this helps!
katleidoscopic's avatar
Thank you for your critique!

So you're saying that I should show the legs of the gray cat and the black cat?  :meow:
Enemom's avatar
:star::star::star-half::star-empty::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star-half::star-empty::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star-empty::star-empty::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star-half::star-empty::star-empty: Impact

While it's clear you have improved since the last drawing, some anatomy problems are present here.

First off, the cats do not seen to have consistent shoulder blades. The grey cat is one, because the inner shoulder blade is consistent with its neck; or for better terms, should you run a line through the middle of them both you'll find they make a straight line. That's not how cat's anatomy is structured. Second, cats DO NOT have visible necks. The neck of a cat is directly connected to the body. Look up cat anatomy for a bit more info and to see what I'm talking about. Third, where is the other paw of the orange cat? Does he have only one shoulder? What happened? I'm also noticing a lack of whiskers, and the problem with the grey cat (shoulder blades) is present in the black cat as well. However, the heads are drawn well. Granted, they make lack whiskers but are still drawn well for a cartoon style cat.

Overall, many anatomy problems are present here. It seems you haven't really grasped full feline anatomy just yet, but you're getting there. Remember how a cat's shoulders and shoulder blades work, they don't work the a humans'.
katleidoscopic's avatar
Thanks for the critique :3
StinghyNachos's avatar
:star::star::star::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star-half::star-empty::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Impact

Ok so don't take any of this offensively, I really hope this is constructive to you <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/a/a…" width="19" height="19" alt="^^;" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="417" title="Sweating a little..."/> Anyways onwards I will bullet my comments cause that's easier and more organized:

- By the positioning of Graypaw and Ravenpaw it seems like their bodies are sorta merged together. I would suggest turning their bodies slightly

- Ravenpaw's nose should have a steeped side to it on the side that is farther away. I suggest watching this video: "www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gja0ex… I" remember when I started drawing this video helped me a lot

- Graypaw's bottom half of his muzzle should stick out more. The top and bottom should flow into eachother with a slight deviation. You added too much deviation

- I would suggest some chest fur be given to Ravenpaw, like Graypaw's

- Firepaw's mouth should be much shorter on the right side. It should still be longer than the left side but just shorter than it is not

- Are Ravenpaw's eye's purple? I actually don't know nor care, just wondering.

- By the way, I really like Firepaw's eyes....

Hope I was helpful <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/a/a…" width="19" height="19" alt="^^;" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="417" title="Sweating a little..."/>
katleidoscopic's avatar
Thanks for the critique, btw!
StinghyNachos's avatar
katleidoscopic's avatar
His eyes aren't purple, but I was trying to mimic SSSWarriorCats' style and designs ^^ In their drawings/animations, his eyes are purple.
StinghyNachos's avatar
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
AwakeandAlive26's avatar
That is huge improvement! It's awesome! :D
DimentedDestiny36O's avatar
These are really cute!
Emberkashii's avatar
Cool! :3 love that book ^^
katleidoscopic's avatar
Thanks!  :iconblushplz:  I love the books too.  :3
LilMonsterMix's avatar
Amazing! Your art has really improved!!
katleidoscopic's avatar
Thank you!  I think so too!  XD
This is just pure amazing. It's lovely, I love it.
katleidoscopic's avatar
Thank you for your kind words :)
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