On College Dorms

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KarmaGhost's avatar

Literature Text

I left for the quiet,
a room where I was not hemmed in,
but the world was shut out.

Instead I found a tomb,
a testament to masons and carpenters,
who raised the two-by-four walls
and hung the limestone drywall
which vibrated in perfect resonance
with the voices of oh so many.

This building is hulking,
so Sovietly efficient in storing people,
stacking us one on top
of the other
like skeletons in Roman catacombs -
we are so long dead
that our modern morbid priests
have forgotten the prayers
and instead cast us
in this lot,
disease long gone but for the rats
who scurry through our eye sockets.

And the quiet is cavernous,
the tourists who gawk
at the mockery made of our life.

We seek the desert places,
and were we not scared of loneliness,
we might find them
here, in our hallowed halls
of education for sterile information,
and people so bound to hearing voices,
they do not hear the hearts,
nor welcome nor acknowledge nor wish
for thicker walls.

I do not have it in me
to wish that you should go,
but you were never gone:
I heard you through these walls,
and I wish you would say no more,
for we are
I do not like large groups; would that I could escape them in a dark and quiet room. But sound carries, and I am pressed in at every side--above and to the right and to the left, where people move about life, so busy (and gettin' busy) deaf to the silence. So we yell to hear ourselves over it.

It's okay to be alone. And when we are not, it is okay to accept. Being in a group is lonely when you are not part of it; groups function on acceptance. There is no halfway.
© 2009 - 2021 KarmaGhost
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flesh-cladmonster's avatar
I hate groups. They're awful.
KarmaGhost's avatar
Depends on the group. I love a small group of friends (say ≥7) sittin' around hanging out. Once you break the threshhold of 10 people, there's really 3-4 different conversations actually going on and you need to find which of those 3-4 groups you fit into. Worse is the groups that are self-insulating, and so when you may be introduced to do them, you never have a chance to become part of them.

This was written on a night that just felt really claustrophobic.
flesh-cladmonster's avatar
I always feel claustrophobic...I don't really fit with anyone. As hard as I try it just doesn't work.